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Pennsylvania H Pal
 Hi,
my name is Bonnie. I am 39 years old and I have HSV2 genitally. I
was diagnosed on December 4, 2007. My story is pretty basic. I was
reckless with my actions and with my body and I exposed myself to
herpes.
Okay so we all
know it's a little more than that. At first I was shocked, scared,
mortified, embarrassed, sad, depressed you name it, if it was a bad
emotion I was feeling it. To make matters even worse for me, my
best friend was in Florida on a family vacation and I never felt so
alone. I don't think I stopped crying for a week. I spent hours
upon hours online doing research. I just wanted to know all I could
as quickly as I could. I needed to know how this was going to
change my life. I needed to know how this was going to destroy my
life. I couldn't believe I was in this situation to begin with. I
am an adult. I am educated. I should know better, right?
As the physical
symptoms started to go away I was able to wrap my mind around what
the reality was and that was when everything started to look much
different. I have a STI. I have herpes. That's it, I only have
herpes. I don't have HIV, cancer or a inoperable brain tumor. I
have a non life threatening virus. A virus that is totally
manageable.
I got a grip
and made a decision that I would not be defined by my herpes
status. It doesn't change who I am. Of course I didn't realize
this all on my own and I really must give credit where credit is
due. I found so much priceless support from my friends, my mom and
all the wonderful people on the
Shut up and post it message board.
To all of you I am deeply and eternally grateful.
I knew I was
exposed to the virus by one of three men and I was determined to
find out which one gave it to me. I called them and bugged them to
get tested. I wanted to know their results. They were not as
cooperative as I had hoped and to this day I still don't know who
gave it to me. But what I have been able to realize is that it
doesn't really matter. They know my status and what they chose to
do with that information is on them. I've done my part in notifying
them.
This truly has
been a blessing in disguise for me. I lost my way and was going
down a path that I know God didn't want me going down. After my
diagnosis I was able to regroup and begin my walk with the Lord
again. I am truly blessed! For me there was another blessing that
was disguised. I have spent the majority of my life trying to find
love through sex. I used sex to feel wanted and loved. Obviously,
my diagnosis changes that casual way I approached sex. Not to
mention, changes who I will be choosing to have sex with. I now
have to take the time to get to know someone and allow them the time
to get to know the real me. Now, I will know that the man who
chooses to be with me is choosing to actually be with ME. He will
want me and will really love me. That's pretty awesome!
If it changes
your life, let it!! They could be really wonderful changes!! -
Write to Me!
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