The ABC's of Herpes

The ABC's of Herpes is about dealing with your diagnosis and getting on with Life!

A is for Acceptance. It’s not just the first letter of the Alphabet, it’s the first step. There is NO such thing as a time machine that you can use to go back and change anything so accept it and move forward. Along those same lines, WHO gave it to you is irrelevant. Seeking revenge doesn’t hurt anyone but you so let it go.

B stands for Becoming the kind of person that no one can live without. If you didn’t like who you were before your diagnosis then CHANGE! If you've always been in a relationship then maybe it's time to Be alone so you can learn to love you before trying to Be happy Before you meet that special person.

C stands for Create a list. List every good quality that you have and ask your friends and family to add to it. They don’t need to know ‘why’ … just do it! Remember, having Herpes doesn't change all of these wonderful qualities that you possess. Everybody has a degree of greatness. If you don't believe you are wonderfully made then it might be time to see a Counselor.

D stands for Demand! Demand information … whether it’s from a doctor, counselor or simply by researching it online, learn. Ignorance is NOT bliss! Knowledge is power.

Expect more from your future partners. From now on, they don’t just have to be cute with a pulse … now they have to have substance, too! The ones that don’t accept you, consider it a God-send! Welcome to your new selection process! Always remember you deserve the BEST!

Find your serenity. Perhaps you have a best friend, trusted doctor or even anonymous faces on a website (us!) that you are comfortable talking to … find them! Vent, cry, scream then, by all means, refer back to the letter A and move on with your life.

G stands for Giggle. Do whatever you like to do that makes you laugh. You cannot let this consume every minute of your day. Even if you gotta fake it first, do it! The next thing you know, it’s not fake laughter anymore. Have you ever heard the saying - Fake It Til You Make It?!

H-E-R-P-E-S spells Herpes! Say it! You can come up with all kinds of cutesy little names for it if it makes you feel any better but don’t cling to those names forever. It is what it is and nothing you name it will change that fact.

I stands for the Internet. It’s there for a reason and there is a wealth of information if you just learn to find it. DON’T look at the pictures! They are ‘worse case scenarios’ and I’ve never known anyone that had outbreaks like that! Remember, if it sounds too good to be true it probably is. To day, there is NO CURE for herpes.

J stand for Just Shut Up and LISTEN! Sounds cold, doesn’t it? You will come into contact with people that have been living with this condition for many years and what they tell you may make you say “Well, that’s easy for YOU to say!”. Listen to them! Personally, I wasted WAY too many years feeling sorry for myself when I could have been LIVING. We’ve ‘been there and we’ve done that’ and if we can save you just a little pain with our wisdom, then we’ve accomplished our mission.

K stands for Keep your spirits up. If you’re in a relationship that’s not healthy or a job that’s not fulfilling or you have friends that don’t complement you, you need to figure out if it’s really worth it. You have all kinds of choices in life and your most major ones are your attitude and the people YOU CHOOSE to surround yourself with. Remember, YOU hold the keys to your own happiness!

LIVE! - That's what L stands for! The value of your life is not determined by some skin condition. It’s also not determined by someone’s willingness to accept you. Like yourself enough to not stay in an unhealthy relationship simply because that person accepted you in spite of herpes. You deserve better than that!

Make amends - that's what M stands for. Do not waste your time or energy blaming someone else. Maybe they didn’t tell you, maybe they didn’t know, it doesn’t matter. What’s done is done and all you have to do now is come to peace with it.

kNees … get on them. If this is bigger than you, then ask God for help in dealing with it. “If He brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it”.

O stands for Open communication. DO NOT even think about having intimate relations with someone else without giving them the option. If they don’t want to take the chance, so be it.  It is NOT the end of the world! They would have gotten in the way of The One that God has planned for you.

P stands for Put things in perspective. You DID NOT just get diagnosed with cancer or anything else that’s going to kill you slowly. This is nothing more than a minor, occasional irritation and shouldn’t treat it as if it's the end of the world. Do not give herpes that kind of power over you!

Question what you read. Not all websites are created equal and not all information is true and accurate. If you read something that just doesn’t add up, ask Questions, find answers but don’t just accept it as the gospel.

Realize your worth and Respect yourself. If you’re thinking “No one is ever going to want me again”, you’re probably right. What I mean is that if you couldn’t realize your worth as a person before your diagnosis, then you’re never going to realize your worth now. Plug into yourself and if you don’t like what you see, CHANGE IT. That seems to be the ongoing theme in this message but I simply can’t stress it enough. Self improvement breeds confidence which results in sex appeal.

Stop wishing and hoping that this is all a bad dream and you’ll wake up soon. Stop trying to Sweep it under the rug. That is a waste of time and energy. How unproductive to try and pretend that you don't have Herpes. Stop crying about your diagnosis. It's ok to be upset in the beginning but if you can't get over it within six months to one year, it might be time to see a professional counselor.

Take time for yourself. Stop worrying about what everyone else may think of you and start learning more about who you are and what makes you happy. The presence of a significant other DOES NOT define who YOU are as a person. Having Herpes does NOT define you either. Learn to like yourself first THEN worry what all the shallow people are thinking. Guess what? At that point, you won’t care and really... you shouldn't care what other people think anyway!

Understand the virus. Know where it lives, what triggers it, how it’s transmitted, everything! Never put someone at risk without their consent!

V stands for Victory. Who is going to win the war? If you let herpes define who you are as a person, I can tell you who won. Give herpes this battle but don’t let it win the war. YOU HAVE WORTH!

WORK! Get off your woe-is-me butt and work towards having an understanding of your diagnosis. No matter what avenue you have to take, nothing is given to the person that can’t do anything except feel sorry for themselves.

X stands for eXercise and eat right. A healthy body = a healthy immune system = fewer outbreaks. It’s just as simple as that. This is your wake-up call to dump the things that aren’t good for you anyway … excessive caffeine, soda, junk food, fast food, and the list goes on. Let’s take for example HSV1 – they don’t call outbreaks cold sores and fever blisters for nothing. When your immune system is compromised, you WILL get outbreaks so take the necessary steps to correct that.

Yell into a pillow. Go ahead. After two or three times you’ll realize how fruitless it is … so is feeling sorry for yourself.

Z stands for Zazen. In Buddhism, this is the practice of meditation. Find your ‘happy place’ and GO THERE. There is a tremendous amount of power in positive thinking and introspection.

REMEMBER: You can never expect someone else to ‘okay’ with your diagnosis until YOU are. DO NOT give this virus any more power over you than it already has!

*The ABC's of Herpes was put together by our H Pal Jennifer. There were a few pieces here and there that were added by our H Pal and website administrator Angela aka: Yoshi2me. If one of the letters of the alphabet means something to you and you really want to add to what we've already put together, feel free and write and tell us your idea. We might add it to this page! Thanks!

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