I know you and the producers of 'The
View' have received a ton of negative feedback on your decision to
portray
people with herpes trying to reach out and find Love,
Friendship and Compassion from another via dating sites as fodder for some good laughs, but I do hope
you have taken the time to read some of
the letters and see some of the deep pain your comments
along with the showing of actual photos of individuals using these
personal ads sites has caused.
I am not going to make this a long
email of disrespecting or chastising you. I'm a believer in the
philosophy of, "What can be done from today, forward"? You had your
sights set at one time on becoming a teacher, Joy, and I know you
did not intend to inflict this kind of damage on a large and
fast-growing segment of our population. As a teacher still at heart
as I know you are from watching you on 'The View' for many years,
there is a tremendous amount of GOOD that could be done by taking
some time and researching the facts about herpes
on the many sites available on the Web, making sure you read several
of the letters of just how alone, despondent and stigmatized so many
of these individuals feel in their attempt to live productive happy
lives.
You have a depth and range to your personality that goes way
beyond the norm, and I know that you could stand before your
audience of millions and make a heartfelt apology for what came out
as a major blunder on that show's airing. You have received so many
major awards for your talent and philanthropic contributions, and
'The View' could be a fantastic place to host a show that truly
educated the public on just how many people are out there that don't
even know they are infected with the herpes virus! The
need is GREAT for the secrecy, the stigma to come out in open forum,
and your show has proven through it's "Outstanding Talk Show"
Daytime Emmy Award and yearly nominations, thereafter, to be highly
respected and looked up to for our nation's (and others) education
and opinion formation. Knowing you as I think I do from watching you
these several years, you are probably already formulating a way to
right this unfortunate wrong. I so hope that the producers of this
show will not attempt to sweep this under the rug and hope it goes
away--so much good can come from what began as a mistake, and we're
all entitled to a few of those--even the most fortunate among us!!
I
will continue watching your show and praying that overall GOOD will
prevail. Thank you for your years of dedication and service to your
craft!
On a recently aired segment of 'The
View' Joy's attempts at humor ended up hurting a LOT of people
dealing with the stigma, the ostracism, and the loneliness of having
herpes, and I just wanted to Thank You for your attempt to ease up
her attack when you tried to discuss with her how it was admirable
how the person was up front on the dating site about her herpes condition.
Unfortunately, Joy was in her 'comedic' mode, and wasn't about to be
stopped when on such a roll. I'd be willing to wager the only people
laughing at this point were the ones yet ignorant of just how
devastating having this virus can be--it's ramifications are like
voracious tendrils that spread throughout the physical,
psychological, social, economic and countless other areas of an
inflicted person's life.
What is so tragic is that there are a great
number of
individuals with hearts bigger than Texas who have burnt
midnight oil countless nights in an attempt to get ACCURATE
information before the public; have spent many an hour counseling
the innocent wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, and yes, so
sadly, rape and incest victims who didn't even have an active part
in the contraction of this virus!! An airing of a show as popular
and respected as 'The View' taking on the attitude that was
portrayed about herpes victims being 'losers' sets a great number of
people's efforts back who knows how far!! I am sending you a copy of
what I wrote to Joy, and I hope between you, Joy, Barbara, and ABC,
that some good may yet come of this! I have outlined how I believe
that could happen in my email to Joy.
I have a lot of respect and
admiration for the way you have helped advance many a cause on your
show, and hope that once Joy and ABC research further the many cases
of how herpes is causing so many such terrible anguish, that
empathy, not ridicule, will prevail. There has been much gained in
understanding the gay community in the last several years through
their refusal to remain silent any longer. Unfortunately, the stigma
of Herpes
and other STDs is such that with insurance companies
involvement, community ignorance and thus, scorn--most of us have
had to stay hidden in the dark recesses of the closet as gays once
did. The ironic part about most of those who look down their nose at
us is that it is only by the Grace of God that they too have not
become infected--there are many out there who don't know they have
the virus, and many immoral or uneducated people who aren't sharing
with their sexual partners the fact that they have herpes. The
recent alarming increase in new infections are proof alone that the
'stigma' that is further perpetrated by airings of shows like your
recent one, is keeping people from seeking the truth and taking a
head in the sand attitude about the issue.
Your show could sure help turn these
statistics around and help heal the deep wounds recently caused--if
it will....
I'm trusting that someone somewhere in their mailings to you about
this issue, has helped to shed some light of understanding. Many out
there are depending on your show. Please keep in mind the social
conscience that is inherent in having the popularity your show has
seen these last several years-- it's a factor God-fearing superstars
of all types need to take very seriously. One of the more hidden
prices to pay for wealth and recognition, yet the costliest at
times, it seems.
In closing I wanted to congratulate you on your
recent marriage, Star. You have a Good Heart and Soul, and are
worthy of all your successes!
