Confused and Baffled

Give and get dating advice. Got any dating tips?

Confused and Baffled

Postby Mandy423 » Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:50 pm

I've noticed several posts that reference people 'telling' their partner, or needing to tell their partner. And, it seems that a common dilemma is that the author has already participated in some risky/unprotected sexual activity which has already put their partner at risk for contraction (No matter how slight that risk may be). I am simply baffled at HOW one can do this to someone they supposedly care about, and "What in the hell is running through your mind?". I understand that emotions and hormones run high and rampant, especially when one has been very lonely and (well, sexless) for an extended period of time. Trust me, I've been there, I know it's neither fun nor easy to say "no" when all you really want to say is "Yes!"...
But, I have also had the right to choose which risks I do and do not take with my body and my health completely ripped away from me. I have been that person who was with an H+ partner, and HE simply made the decision that the risk was worth it, and I didn't need to be informed. No matter how slight the risk was for me to contract Herpes, Guess what?! I DID. And there is nothing that anyone can do to ever change that... And, I had a very intense, and somewhat violent response to finding out. I was Heartbroken, devastated, depressed, and angry (that really doesn't even begin to describe it, but I'm trying to keep this profanity-free). At times I floated between being homicidal and suicidal... Any negative emotion or crazy irrational thought you can think of, I probably had it... And, personally, I think I would have to experience all of those emotions all over again, with a few extra shots of self-loathing, if I were to become that self-righteous, lying, sack of you-know-what who infected me. No matter how slight the risk, I do not feel that there is anything in this world that gives me the right to take away my partner's right to make choices about his/her health and his/her body.

So, do I have a totally different mind-set than others, or just more discipline and self-control than I give myself credit for?
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you probably don't deserve me at my best"
Mandy423
Verbal
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:28 pm
 

Re: Confused and Baffled

Postby half_full » Sat Jul 14, 2012 9:27 am

I agree that people should inform a partner. I think for some people it's fear that keeps them from having the talk. Also sometimes people might be drunk or whatever and not using their best judgement. Regardless, everyone should have the opportunity to make and informed decision for themselves.
The glass is not half empty, it's half full.
User avatar
half_full
Rock Steady
 
Posts: 1211
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:44 pm
Location: Midwest
 

Re: Confused and Baffled

Postby Elizabeth » Tue Jul 17, 2012 6:47 pm

My thought is people shouldn't be having sex at all prior to a discussion about birth control and STDs, but as half full stated, one too many encounters happen under the influence. And for encounters that happen more organically, speaking from personal experience, relatively few men have ever broached the subject with me first. I feel the burden is on women to speak up about pregnancy and sexual history.
Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off. ~Ellen DeGeneres
User avatar
Elizabeth
Amazon Blonde
 
Posts: 2946
Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:56 pm
Location: Texas
 

Re: Confused and Baffled

Postby Yoshi2me » Mon Jul 23, 2012 2:40 pm

People need to start taking personal responsibility for their own health. Placing these expectations on others while you set back and do nothing doesn't make it better or right. I'm not a fan of passing blame either. More and more we are raising our youth to look to someone else for the reason why their world makes no sense when they are in complete and utter control over themselves. Unless you've been raped or assaulted nobody has forced you to do something that you don't have control over. People should be talking about these things before they have sex. I am 50% responsible for my acquisition of herpes. I take full and complete responsibility for that in spite of the fact that my partner knew he has herpes and didn't disclose. I am at fault for making an assumption that most people are good and decent people. I can only control myself. It's all about choices and personal responsibility.
It is what it is. Site|Blog
User avatar
Yoshi2me
Full of Hot Air
 
Posts: 13206
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
 

Re: Confused and Baffled

Postby brian » Wed Oct 10, 2012 2:46 am

Hahahaha,,
No my dear dont be confuse every thing will be fine and good :)
Just plan properly and try not to make any mistake.
brian
brian
Newbie
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2012 2:33 am
 

Re: Confused and Baffled

Postby Elizabeth » Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:21 am

brian, what is the point of your post? you are not adding any value by telling people not to be confused considering she's not REALLY confused but more alarmed that someone with an STD would knowingly put a partner at risk by refusing to talk about it.
Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off. ~Ellen DeGeneres
User avatar
Elizabeth
Amazon Blonde
 
Posts: 2946
Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:56 pm
Location: Texas
 
 

Return to Dating Advice

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron