Unexpected HSV Diagnosis and Cystic Fibrosis

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Unexpected HSV Diagnosis and Cystic Fibrosis

Postby blackbird » Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:02 am

Hello everyone,

I'm new to this site and just recently came across it while reading information about hsv I and II. Not sure that this falls strictly under dating etiquette and advice... it's a relationship and health concern. My boyfriend and I are in a bit of a tricky and heart breaking situation. I'm looking to find out more information and to see what others would do or recommend in a situation like ours. Thank you in advance for reading and I'm so happy that I've found a place online to ask questions, share thoughts, concerns, and fears, and to read about others living with hsv.

I was diagnosed on October 29, 2012 after getting very sick (flu-like symptoms) for a week or so, seeing my doctor, getting tested, and was devastated when I received my test results over the phone. My boyfriend and I had been dating for a while and the relationship had become serious and we decided to relocate across the country together. Initially when he found out that I had tested positive, he strongly stated that it didn't matter that I had hsv, didn't care to get tested because the results wouldn't change his feelings for me, and was pretty sure that he had also had a small outbreak during the same time that I had my initial outbreak. We educated ourselves about herpes, treatments, prevention, etc and started to work through it together and individually. The issues began when he was admitted to the hospital due to an infection related to cycstic fibrosis. While being hospitalized, he chose to have additional blood work performed to check for herpes. We discussed this briefly and he stood by his previous choices for the most part, still believing that he would test positive as well. The results came back last Friday... positive for hsv I, and negative for hsv II. He's terrified of contracting hsv II because of the flu-like symptoms that can accompany outbreaks, particularly the first outbreak. We have discussed possible ways to still maintain a fulfilling, trusting, and enjoyable intimacy (sexual) but haven't come up with any real solutions. I worry about transferring hsv to him just as much, leading to feelings of guilty, lack of self worth, extreme loneliness, and hopelessness... it seems that that area of our relationship is closed off for good due to the possibility of passing it to him and the effect it could/would have on his health and cystic fibrosis. I have tried to look up information about herpes and cystic fibrosis onine, but haven't had much sucess. He has talked to numerous doctors (both general doctors and pulmonary doctors) and they have given him great information but have all stated that he shouldn't let it ruin the relationship or keeps us from being intimate and/or having sex. It's a tricky situation and I go back and forth as to what I should do... wait it out, hang in there and hope that he will change his mind, breakup with him for his health and my well-being, learn to be content in a non-intimate and/or sexless relationship... none of the options seems ok or that they will help the issues at hand. Does anyone know of someone living with cystic fibrosis AND herpes, how it affects their health, how they manage both, etc? I don't know anyone else with either condition. Thoughts, advice, and opinions are greatly appreciated!
“Go to the edge” the voice said,
“No!” they said “We will fall!”
"Go to the edge” the voice said,
“No!” they said “We will be pushed over!”
“Go to the edge” the voice said,
So they went, And they were pushed, And they flew...
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Re: Unexpected HSV Diagnosis and Cystic Fibrosis

Postby LustforLife » Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:19 am

welcome to the board, blackbird.

i'm sorry, but i feel you are making much ado about nothing. your bf already has herpes. his antibodies to hsv1 will protect him somewhat from hsv2. even if he should contract it from you, he is not likely to have a full-blown flu-like ob, as you fear.

i don't know anyone who has CF and herpes. aside from your bf.

it's your choice what to do about your relationship. the unstated subtext is that bf said all the right things until he had a bout of CF. then, suddenly, he became afraid of something that isn't likely to happen, ignored the good advice of several doctors, and has made you feel like a pariah. what do you think you should do? don't you deserve better?
“Always look on the bright side of life.”

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Re: Unexpected HSV Diagnosis and Cystic Fibrosis

Postby blackbird » Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:38 pm

LustforLife: Thank you for your response. I, too, think that it's become a bigger issue than necessary. Though I do worry about him having flu-like symptoms if he were to have an ob, it seems that there are/were many positive ways that this could have been addressed, and the probability of him contracting hsvII seems very low.



I've looked at a lot of websites and resources about hvs online, but can't seem to find any information about cf and hsv. Does anyone know of a website or online resource that might have information?

Thanks for reading and posting!
“Go to the edge” the voice said,
“No!” they said “We will fall!”
"Go to the edge” the voice said,
“No!” they said “We will be pushed over!”
“Go to the edge” the voice said,
So they went, And they were pushed, And they flew...
blackbird
Newbie
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2013 2:44 pm
 

Re: Unexpected HSV Diagnosis and Cystic Fibrosis

Postby LustforLife » Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:26 pm

blackbird wrote:I've looked at a lot of websites and resources about hvs online, but can't seem to find any information about cf and hsv. Does anyone know of a website or online resource that might have information?

no - and that's probably because there is NO relation.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20199892
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17183874
“Always look on the bright side of life.”

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