Give and get dating advice. Got any dating tips?


Postby Enamorado » Fri Aug 09, 2013 5:03 pm


I need advice and help; my wife and me have been married for 14 years; we had sex (including oral) and after 3 days my wife had like and small mosquito bite on her vagina after another 3 days it became worst; we decided to go to see the doctor who visually confirmed it can be herpes but we need to run a blood test just to make sure (including the test for others STD) after a week my wife test came back confirming that my wife had herpes simple type 1 and she got infected recently due to the fact that she doenst show antibodies (or a lot of them according to doctor)

I also went to my doctor and i am waiting for the results.

The problem here is that my wife and myself are pretty sure we were faifthfull within those years or marriage; before the marriage i was promiscuous and my wife knew it, but of course either of us are not very happy to find out we have herpes.

Is it possible that i carried the disease for all these years (without having an outbreak) and not being able to give it to my wife? he have 2 beatiful kids and my wife was tested also during both prenancies for STD's and came negative; i am not trying to find an excuse cause still i fill very very bad for giving this to my wife but how i can have herpes for so many years without giving it to my wife and i never experience any problem on my mouth or pennis; i am really confusie and very shame that for having a crazy life now my wife had to pay the consecuences and i am not even able to give her a fair explanation other than i do not have sex of any type with not body except my wife.....

Can someone put me out of my misery?
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:15 pm

Re: Surprised!!!

Postby Timf » Sat Aug 10, 2013 2:57 am

Umm, yes its entirely possible to carry for years without knowing it - especially since we are talking HSV1 which infects 60-70% of adults (mostly in the oral site). However, about 1 in 3 new cases of genital herpes in the US these days are HSV1 and Europe runs around the same figure. Most infected people do NOT know it because the virus is a very good parasite and is very good at being asymptomatic - a lot of people pick HSV1 up as a kid, never know anything about it and trasmit later in life...

A standard STD screen does not usually include herpes - especially HSV1 - because so many are positive and it doesnt tell you much useful in STD terms for HSV1 on random screening

Transmission rate in a monogamous couple avoiding sex during visible outbreaks for HSV2 is around 5-10% chance per year, HSV1 is a little lower from memory - so assuming 5% chance for easy math the odds are just under 50% to not transmit in the first 14 years (.95^14 probability) no there's nothing outrageous about this....

You fall into a perfectly explainable hole just because of the biology of the virus....nothing impossible, nothing unusual.

I can go into a lot more details but Im just about to drive across the UK so I may be slow in replying
When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart
Virology Hero
Posts: 601
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:36 am
Location: Cambridge, UK

Re: Surprised!!!

Postby Enamorado » Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:24 pm

Thanks a lot for your replied; it helps a lot, my apologies for my late reply but I thought I already reply' bit I cannot. See my reply. When you have a chance I would like to hear more for comments and details about how I as able to hold the disease without given it to my wife for so long.
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:15 pm

Re: Surprised!!!

Postby Elizabeth » Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:55 pm

Tim has given it to you pretty straight and what you need to take away from this discussion is that a person infected with herpes simplex virus can be asymptomatic for years. HSV is a very crafty little virus that can remain dormant for an infinite amount of time and it can mask itself as other things, such as jock itch or heat rash (in men) and ingrown hairs or yeast infection (in women).
Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off. ~Ellen DeGeneres
User avatar
Amazon Blonde
Posts: 2946
Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:56 pm
Location: Texas

Return to Dating Advice

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest