I saw this question asked on one of the forums I found doing an odd Google search.
Why wouldn’t people on any regular dating site like Match.com have herpes OR any other STD?
It’s not like the dating sites screen all their applicants for sexually transmitted diseases.
That’s why it’s so important to talk about STDS with your partner and make a date to go and have proper STD testing done.
1. Contact an H-Pal. Mine is awesome.
2. Attend a support group meeting in your area. It helped me to see that the members are normal looking and not judgmental at all, just regular people like you and me.
3. Read all that you can. Knowledge is power & helps towards acceptance. The best one I read was “Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Talking about Herpes“. It took me awhile to get up the courage to get it from the library. I always have the kids with me, so that was a tricky one.
4. Call the hotline.
This information was shared by an online support group member. It was so good that I felt it was good enough to share with you here on Sexual Health Buzz.
For more information on herpes bookmark these:
I’m sure you have all read the reports about how Jessica Alba supposedly has herpes. Well, if she has herpes then isn’t it possible that she could have contracted it from him?
The Hotline is open from 9:00 am to 8:00 pm, Eastern Time, Monday through Friday.
1-800-227-8922
HERPES QUESTION #5
Thank you for taking the time out to read my questions. I am looking forward to your responses. I hope I can learn to stop being such a germaphobic when it comes to this.
I am so worried about spreading it I never reuse towels and bleach them along with my underwear every time I use either one. I will not touch dirty clothes without washing my hands after and I even noticed I wash my hands two or three times in a row when I do have an outbreak because I am afraid of spreading it.
PLEASE HELP!!!!
I believe once you become comfortable with how the herpes virus actually works you will be ok. I think knowing your husband’s status and talking to your doctor will really help too.
Remember, don’t worry about herpes on objects outside of the body because the virus simply can not survive on such things. Washing your hands is always a good idea after you go to the bathroom but that’s pretty typical even if you don’t have herpes.
You don’t have to do anything special to your clothes when you wash them and there really is no point in using bleach outside of the ordinary need for bleach.
Hang in there and try not to obsess over herpes too much. I’ve got some great books about herpes you might want to think about ordering just so you can put your mind to rest.
Hi, I’m a British journalist and I’m researching a report on the increase in the number of women being diagnosed with Herpes for a women’s magazine.
We’d like to get some facts out there about the condition, because there are a lot of misconceptions, and we’ll also be letting people know where to get help and support.
As part of the article, we’re looking for women (in their 20’s or early 30’s) who have been diagnosed as having Herpes to share their stories of how they felt when they first discovered they had it, but importantly, how they have come to cope with the condition, and how it doesn’t have to wreck your life.
If you’d like to know more, please email me at viki.wilson “at” btinternet “dot” com – There is payment for the article, which could either go to you or a charity or support group. If you think you can help, it would be great to hear from you.
Kind regards, Viki
This note from Viki was also posted on Picking Up the Pieces and Shut Up N Post! STD Message Board. If you would kindly link back to this from your blog I would greatly appreciate it very much. Thanks!
After that last little rant of mine I thought it would be nice if we did something fun. I don’t know if you guys know this or not but today is Thursday 13.
Thursday 13 is a popular meme among bloggers where you list 13 things about whatever it is you want to write about. Today I thought it would be fun to list 13 things that I did not know.
Now the object of this is that you are supposed to link back OR list OR whatever when you list your 13 whatevers in your blog. I’m not really 100% sure of the specifics so I thought we would just wing it today.
Ok, so here are 13 things I did not know:
1. I did not know that equine herpes could be so deadly
2. I had no idea fish could get herpes
3. I had no idea that animals were passing around HIV
4. I did not know before this year that you could contract hep C just from using somebody’s razor blade
5. I did not know people could be so mean until yesterday
6. I did not know people were silly enough to park their personal e-mail projects at work
7. I did not know 90% of those that had herpes did not know until GlaxoSmithKline came out with the results of that study
8. I did not know about herpes until I contracted it
9. I didn’t realize how dangerous free love could be when I was younger
10. I did not know what I do not know today
11. I did not know I would not feel like working out until I woke up
12. I did not know my husband was going home early today
13. I did not know my horoscope would be as accurate as it is!
Thank God for herpes!! At this point, you’re probably thinking that I’m nuts, right? LOL Let me explain: I was 20 years old when I sat in that emergency room with, what I thought, was a really bad yeast infection. I couldn’t even describe the horror I felt when the doctor said “HSV 2“.
There were so many times over the next ten years that I thought life just wasn’t worth living because I was some kind of leper. Fifteen years later, the man that I was with at the time of my diagnosis died. It was like contracting it all over again because now I was going to have to have The Talk and I was SURE that no one would want me.
I lived in St. Louis at the time and decided to move to Oklahoma after my husband died. I got involved in a support group there, became a moderator and took the time to do all kinds of research so that I could provide support to those 20-year-olds that were where I once was.
It took some time but I finally realized that herpes didn’t define me; it was simply a skin condition that I had to live with even though it didn’t bother me anymore. I’m back in St. Louis now and I haven’t started dating yet but it’s not because of fear of The Talk. Sometimes it turns out well (you’ll even get “So what, so do I” after delivering the news!) and sometimes you choose the wrong person to have The Talk with.
You see, I can say “Thank God for herpes” because what it’s done is made me more selective. You’ll never find me picking up stray guys at bars for one-night stands and I wait much longer into the relationship before getting intimate. In addition to that, some of the best people I’ve ever known are in my life because I met them through a support group.
Wherever you are in the grieving process (that’s exactly what this is), I’m here for you because I’ve ‘been there, done that’. Whatever you’re feeling, I’ve felt it before. Counselors and doctors just don’t have all the facts and people that you’ll meet in this community will become your support line and, in some cases, even save a life. I didn’t have the benefit of the internet when I first found out and it is a wonderful resource.
Just remember … DO NOT let this skin condition define who YOU are! I’m here to help.
God bless!
Jennifer
HERPES QUESTION #4
Can I go down on my husband after we already started having sex? Sometimes my husband would love for me to start giving him oral sex after we already started having sex and I don’t do it because I am afraid I am going to ger oral herpes because of my vaginal fluids and just his penis touching my vaginal area. I would love to fulfill his pleasure but I am afraid.
If I were in your shoes, just to ease your mind, I would make a date together to go and see a doctor so that you can know his status too. I would also write down any questions that you might have and really sit down and discuss this with your doctor. Don’t be afraid to ask these type of questions when you go to your appointment.
Your husband might already have herpes and you would have worried about transmitting it to him for nothing because if he already had it you are not going to pass it back and forth. That’s not how that works.
I also believe that you really think that herpes can travel to and from very easily and that’s not the case. The virus doesn’t even survive on objects like sheets, OR toilet seats, etc.
I think that you and your husband can have a very fulfilling sex life and can figure out what you do OR don’t feel comfortable doing in bed once you know for sure what his status is and have read as much as you can about herpes.
Picking Up the Pieces has been around for almost 10 years now. After having a membership of over 3,000 peeps, we decided it was time to start fresh and get back to the basics of what’s most important: helping newbies come to terms with their diagnosis.
Picking Up the Pieces is open to anybody that is interested in learning more about Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV), Human Papillomavirus (HPV) or any other STD. Our advice to you if you are worried about privacy is to choose an alias that nobody knows about and connect it with a free yahoo or Google e-mail account. Never use your work e-mail and remember, the internet is not a private place.
PUP is a labor of love brought to you by volunteers that care about helping others and making a positive difference. Your life as well as intimacy as you see it is not over by a long shot! Before you join please familiarize yourself with how to edit and maintain your yahoo group membership. If you have any comments OR questions don’t hesitate to post those via the group message board.
Lastly, we are not doctors OR health care providers and we don’t play one on TV. Nobody can diagnose you over the internet no matter how qualified you think they might be. Ok, join and don’t be shy.
