Sexual Health Buzz

—– Original Message —–
From: “Robert” <Work E-mail Removed>
To: <Angela aka: Yoshi2me>
Sent: Wednesday, August 15, 2007 8:46 PM

> you sick little bitch – do you have any bloody idea of how many peoples
> lives you have screwed up ? your little wake stunt was completly un called
> for – eliminate my membership to your half assed little group – now !

—– Original Message —–
From: “Roger”
To: <Angela aka: Yoshi2me>
Sent: Thursday, August 16, 2007 10:16 AM
Subject: Re: rejoin PUP

Thanks so much. I am sorry that some are reacting the way they did. I don’t think you did anything improper. Those who are complaining need to learn to manage their email accounts and apparently like to blame others for their failings. Take care…Roger

Now you know why Picking Up the Pieces on Yahoo Groups has a new and fresh start. I had to delete all the old members because some blew a gasket when they started getting individual e-mails again.

You wouldn’t believe all of the crapola that I was blamed for. The reason people started getting individual e-mails again was because we were trying to figure out who had bogus accounts on the group. There were 3,000 uncalled for memberships by people that A. either no longer participated in the group OR B. had an account that they totally forgot about. So we flushed out the bad accounts from the good accounts.

As the group facilitator and founder it’s my right to do this. Of course I had no idea the reaction to what was happening was going to be so horribly lousy and negative.

I felt sorry about it because what wound up happening was folks had their e-mail addresses flooded. I didn’t realize yahoo was going to take so long to adjust the settings again. I figured people that had legit accounts would be level headed enough to just switch their settings back and then those that had been bouncing that had hidden their e-mail addy’s could be quietly booted from the group.

Instead, a bunch of crying ninnies wrote to the group and bitched, moaned, groaned and then had the audacity to order me to remove their membership on a group that they signed up for. Ok, how is it my responsibility to do this? They signed up with yahoo, they signed up for the group, they are more than capable of editing their membership OR leaving the group all by themselves.

Who died and made me the official yahoo group Picking Up the Pieces baby sitter?

Eventually I got so sick and tired of hearing from negative butt heads like the one featured above in this blog that I decided Picking Up the Pieces needed a fresh start. So, I deleted everybody and those that understood what the groups purpose was for were encouraged to rejoin if they wanted.

Can you believe that people actually tried to rejoin bitching me out? Wrong move! I’m not going to approve anybody’s membership if they are going to bring that nasty butt head attitude back to the group. We only want positive people on Picking Up the Pieces.

Oh and I can’t for the life of me understand why anybody would use their work e-mail address to connect with something so personal. Let’s see, I was blamed for somebody’s work finding out that they had herpes. I was blamed for somebody’s relationship being on the verge of a divorce because the spouse found out they were on Picking Up the Pieces. You name it, I was blamed for it.

How ridiculous!

#1 Who in the hell signs up for a group that they refuse to figure out how to get around in? #2 Why are people too lazy to figure out how to edit their own memberships? #3 Who in their right mind would ever in a million years use their work e-mail addy to participate in such things from work? Don’t these freaks know that they could be fired for doing that? #4 When are people going to start taking responsibility for their own actions and stop pointing the finger and blaming others?

At first I felt really bad for those that were hurt by the changes that were made with Picking Up the Pieces. I even expressed my remorse over the situation. But then, the butt heads really came out of the wood work acting as though I should have licked their butt crack or something.

I’m not putting up with anybody shitola any more! If that is what makes me a sick little bitch then so be it! Rant over, negative people BE GONE!

Hey Robert, grow the f* up and learn how to spell a** hole!

well i havent posted in a while. but last time i was very upset and somewhat scared about telling a potential partner.

well i have been seeing this guys for a bout 2 weeks. and while we are not interested in a sexual relationship at the mo. i wanted to tell him because i dont want to fall in love with him and then have him totally disgusted with me when he finds out i have hsv1 genital herpes.

So last night i sat him down and told him i had something to tell him. then we sat there in silence for about 3 minutes. I ended up explaining when i had comparing it to the coldsore virus which is essentially what i have. i told him all the information i could and told him place he could find out more information.

he was totally silent through all of this and i was preparing to be hurt (emotionally) again. but no when i finished he looked me in the eye and said that he was sorry that i had the virus but that i shouldnt feel like it is me. that he likes me for who i am and the virus didnt change that.

he said that he thought i was going to tell him something worse. (and im thinking what could be worse than this) and he said that he thought i didnt want to see him anymore and that he is so glad i told him.

:):):) omg i am on top of the world at the moment. i feel so great. i think i am a lot harder on myself about this thing than what others will ever be on me. i just wanted to share my story to let others know that there are many ppl out there who are able to see you for you.

and i wish you every success and love.

Do you have a story you’d like to share?

HERPES QUESTION #3

If you have herpes can you still sleep naked? I never sleep naked because I am afraid I will get outbreak in the middle of the night and spread it everywhere. In fact, even during sex I never let my bare genitals touch the sheets. If they do I freak out and wash the sheets. (I told you am OCD when it comes to herpes. I was never properly educated so I don’t know).

Of course you can still sleep in the nude if you want! Remember, just because you have herpes doesn’t mean you are 100% contagious at all times. I believe you might be a little confused about herpes transmission. Stop being OCD about herpes. Do some more reading about herpes and see your doctor if you are not sure about these things, ok?

HERPES QUESTION #2

Do you and your husband ever worry about showering after sex? My husband and I don’t have sex as often as we want to because I force him and I to both take a shower asap after sex because I feel it will help prevent him from getting it. I am afraid to just roll over and go to bed after sex.

No, we don’t worry about showers and things before, during, OR after sex and especially NOT because of herpes. But, we have been together for nine years and married for six. Herpes is just NOT an issue in our relationship.

My advice to you as in the previous question would be to make a date with your husband to go and get some routine STD testing done that includes proper herpes testing. After all, what if he already has herpes?

One thing that I personally try to do for myself after sex is go to the bathroom. This has nothing to do with having herpes but I hear that it’s good to try and go to the bathroom after sex because it can prevent you from getting a bladder infection.

I’d be curious to know what your husband has to say about all this?

The little blue bird that you see at the top of this blog was designed by Randa Clay of Randa Clay Designs. She designed the ‘Pimp My Blog’ picture that you see in this blog post too. Isn’t she talented? I should know because I’ve liked her stuff for a long time.

I have to admit that when I first saw the blue bird design for wordpress it made me think of the song that kinda goes like this:

Let me tell you bout the birds and the bees . . .

And the flowers and the trees . . .

And the moon up above . . .

And a thing called LOVE . . .

The whole thing kinda goes with the entire sexual health buzz concept, doesn’t it? At least that’s what I think!

This is part of the question and answer session I have going on with folks that write in to me. They usually give me permission to post the question so that I am able to help others with my answers. I am about to begin a series of questions about herpes that you will be able to read about over the next few days so be sure and save this blog to your favorites OR add it to your news reader.

If you would like to submit a question feel free to do so on my feedback page. Remember, I will not reveal who you are OR share your e-mail address with anybody EVER.

Lastly, these blog posts about herpes and other STDS are not to ever take the place of your health care professional. If you have more questions please don’t hesitate to ask those on our herpes message board.

HERPES QUESTION #1

Can herpes be spread through vaginal fluids? When my husband and I have sex I will not let any fluids touch the sheets. I am afraid if there are any fluids on the sheets it will spread to other body parts while we sleep.

I have to wonder if you and your husband are fully aware of your STD status. Have the two of you ever had proper STD tests done so that you would both know what you had? I think it’s always a good idea to be aware of your partner’s status, too. After all, what if he already has the herpes virus in his system and the two of you had no idea? You would have worried about transmission for nothing pretty much.

As far as letting fluids touch the sheets while you are having sex. I wouldn’t worry about all of that. Even if your husband doesn’t have herpes he’s not going to contract herpes from the sheets. That’s not how that works. Also, herpes doesn’t spread to body parts the way that you have described.

Let’s say you have herpes and your husband doesn’t have herpes. The only way your husband might contract the virus is if you had active herpes virus on the surface of the skin and he had an opening in which the virus could get into. It’s much more likely that a person would contract herpes through vaginal, anal, OR oral sex than any other way.

Just because you have herpes doesn’t mean you are a walking talking herpes virus contagious all the time. Make an appointment to see a doctor together. Have your husband tested too. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor and ask questions. Write your questions down before you see the doctor.

I had a couple of people write in to me over the weekend to share their personal experiences with H Balm and Abreva. They don’t seem to be too happy with the products at this point in time. I’ve included their comments on the H Balm Comments and Abreva Comments pages I have so you guys can read what they had to say.

On those pages you can also find links to polls where you are able to vote on products and treatments that have worked OR not worked for you. That’s all over on the Shut Up N Post! STD Message Board.

The thing about Abreva is that it’s only been clinically proven to treat cold sores OR fever blisters which is just another way of saying that it can treat oral herpes outbreaks. The other thing about that is I would just assume that an oral herpes antiviral would work better than a topical since they say that it’s much better to keep the area clean and dry while you like the oral herpes antivirals go to work on the outbreak. I honestly don’t understand why people would prefer a cream to treat oral herpes outbreaks unless of course it had some numbing effect on curbing the pain that is sometimes associated with oral herpes outbreaks.

As for the latest comment on H Balm. I have never heard of H Balm being clinically proven to specifically treat herpes. I personally have to wonder about a product that supposedly helps to treat everything under the sun. Did you notice that there is a cure for all the ailments listed on their site? Now I have heard of some people using H Balm to help with the pain while they are waiting for their clinically proven herpes antivirals to kick in. I suppose that would be ok to do if you think it’s what works for you.

I’d like to point you in the direction of our Hepatits forum over on Shut Up N Post!

The next thing I would like to do is to compile of list of Hepatitis links that you feel are beneficial to people that are looking for information about Hepatitis.

(I’d like to get those links placed right here in the sidebar of this Sexual Health Buzz blog)

Thanks so much!

I will begin by describing myself as a down to earth women filled with humbleness humility and a passion to help people. Despite of all my genuineness and my good heart I am now living with the HSV-2 Virus. As shockingly as it was for me to accept it, I’m living with Herpes.

I believe the flaws in my relationships was not knowing how to choose a good man, and believing that the man I was faithful too was faithful to me. Four years ago I met a man and lived a 2 yr relationship with him. Come to find out he was not the man he pretended to be an was cheating on me and gave me Chlamydia. It was the end of my world and I left him.

I found a new partner and as well gave him 2 years of my life. As all relationships we had our ups and downs and our differences and immaturities affected our love and respect for each other. Despite the downs I remain monogamous and true to our relationship. On the other hand he made a mistake and cheated on me. This occurred in November of 2006.

I immediately went to my doctor and got checked for all STDS. I was negative for all Sexually Transmitted Infections, but the doctor stated she couldn’t check me for Herpes since I showed no symptoms. I left the doctors office relieved and trustworthy. After two long term relationships I was adamant to still keep searching for that one man to prove to me that he was different.

Months later I found that man and fell for his kindness, love, and respect toward me. In January I started my internship at a non-profit organization working as a HIV Prevention Specialist. Upon working here I became certified to perform HIV testing, I became knowledgeable about all Sexually Transmitted Infections.

In June 29, 2007 I was due for my physical and decided to get all types of blood work done. To my surprise my blood test came back positive for HSV-2 stating I was positive for Herpes. I was in denial. My life crashed down that week. I was depressed for days without going to work, eating, or wanting any social contact. My mind was confused as to who gave me this virus. Was it my new partner, my ex partner, my partner from 4 yrs ago. I have never had any symptoms and I felt healthy.

I immediately contacted my ex partner and my new partner. They needed to get tested and be aware of this virus I was positive for. My new partner of 4 months and his ex partner of years both came back Negative. I was shocked since me and my new partners have practiced un protective sex for almost 4 months. My ex partner was in denial and hasn’t been tested yet. I decided to take a second test to confirm my results. Recently in July 25, 2007 my results once again were positive. There were no more doubts in my mind I was living with Herpes.

The doctor stated I was asymptomatic, meaning I do have the virus but I show no signs or symptoms. I will never know who gave me this virus or for how long I have been living with it. This is how these viruses and sexually transmitted infections work. From unprotected sex and from one partner to another. I am glad I wasn’t infected with HIV since my results were negative.

I choose to share my story to show that even if you are in a monogamous relationship, your partner might not be. My mistake was to put my life and trust in these men whom I thought could be trusted. My new partner is Negative for Herpes until now; maybe the test was taken too early to detect any HSV antibodies. He has chosen to stay by my side and has asked me to marry him despite all.

I simply ask the Lord for Courage to be able to live a normal life, which I know I can, and the courage to accept any outbreaks as they might come. I plan to start taking Valtrex to protect my partner and we are now using protection. Being infected with Herpes doesn’t end my life it simply joins it. – G

My life is not over – Part 2

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Are you a woman living with HSV or HPV?

Are you a health professional involved in clinical practice with women who have a diagnosis of HPV and/or HSV?

Are you interested in contributing the knowledge you have gained from your experiences to my research?

Through my research I intend to make accessible to women and health professionals the resources women use (people, education material, and support) to make a difference to women’s quality of life subsequent to a diagnosis.

If you are interested in finding out more about my background and the research project, please visit my web page for more information.

Contact me by email for participant information:

The research will entail email correspondence with me over a four to eight week period.

Catherine Cook

PhD candidate, Faculty of Education, The University of Auckland, Auckland New Zealand, Master of Counseling (1st class honors), Bachelor of Health Sciences (Nursing), Diploma of Midwifery

APPROVED BY THE UNIVERSITY OF AUCKLAND HUMAN PARTICIPANTS ETHICS COMMITTEE ON 20/06/07 FOR 3 years on 20/06/10 Reference Number 2007/192