Sexual Health Buzz

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Happy Thanksgiving you guys. We really do have so much to be Thankful for. Count your blessings and know that no matter what you are going through that you can get through it and be Happy.

Today if you are searching the internet for answers to your most intimate and personal questions, I want to encourage you to ask your question in the comment section. Me and the regular followers of this blog will do our best to help you get to the bottom of those questions.

Remember, we don’t know everybody but we have been around long enough that we might be able to point you in the right direction. I know that with the Holidays come the opportunity to be home from work and to have some peace and quiet to get caught up on those things that you wouldn’t normally have a chance to work on.

If you don’t have any questions please feel free to just say hello and let us know where you are writing from and what you are up to today. Take Care Everybody!

Kyle out in San Diego has put together a Meet Up group for those people that can benefit from getting together with others that share a common bond or connection. San Diego Friends have had 12 meetups so far and from what I can see, it’s been a great success.

Here’s a little bit about San Diego Friends on Meetup

SD Friends 20’s-30’s is intended for younger (18-30 somethings) San Diegans that have herpes. This is a social group to meet other cool people in San Diego going through the same thing. I’ll try and make the events diverse so that as many people can participate in the group as possible. Anyone who is interested in helping organize events, has ideas for events, suggestions, comments, etc… please feel free to send me an email.

I am also pleased to announce that the San Diego Meetup Group has decided to take the plunge and become part of the Social Support Networking Alliance also known as the SSNA.

We are please and privileged to be able to post this group’s event details, help promote, as well as network any of their events on the Sexual Health Buzz blog as well as my Myspace page blog. All it takes to be part of the SSNA is a little bit of link love back. That’s it!

This questions was asked over here and it dawned on me that I don’t know anybody with Vulvodynia. Well I do know of somebody that could help to answer some of these questions but I haven’t heard from her in a very long time. Anybody?

I’ve got some new stuff added to the site and thought y’all might be interested in reading about that. What I’ll do is post the links as to where the new stuff has been added and you can stop by and check those out.

Feel free to share this list with your friends and to let me know what you think. I think from here on out I will let you guys know when I’ve added something new. I think it’s a nice reminder that my stuff is always changing out there on the net.

Hope everybody is looking forward to the Holidays! I know I am!

Here’s what’s new on Yoshi2me.com, Sexual Health Buzz (the blog), and the STD Message Board

Herpes Help – All the sections that have something new to offer have been indicated. Somebody wrote me and said it would be helpful as they have the site bookmarked and like to check in from time to time. Thanks for the tip! =)

Yoshi2me’s New Stuff – It’s the first time I’ve posted an update on this page since July. Be sure and check that out when you have a chance too, k? =)

Canadian H Pals – These are our Canadian H Pals. We have more than 1 now. Woot Woot! =)

H Pals – This is the H Pal home page just in case you wanted to bookmark that. Also, just because you’re area is represented doesn’t mean you can’t be an H Pal if that is what you’d like to do. The more the merrier! If you have a site of your own… what a great way to network that provided the feeling is mutual.

Toronto Ontario H Pal – If you are in Toronto Colene is still around the help. Just shoot us an e-mail and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

Edmonton H Pal – This is one of our brand new H Pals. Make sure you stop in and say hello to him!

Yoshi2me’s Positive Feedback – A lot of people have been sending me their positive feedback as to how they see the site and how it’s helped them. I am humbled and honored that people would say such nice things. Thanks you guys.

A New True Story – This is one of the newer stories titled, “A New Beginning.”

Inspirational Stories – There are 6 brand new stories to read if you haven’t already. I’m always interested in posting stories to share. I think it’s a great way to reach out to people in similar shoes. Stories can be alias names to keep things more private too.

Another New True Story – The name of this brand new True Story is called “My Virus Collection.”

Illinois H Pals – Freeport and Springfield are the represented areas for H Pals in Illinois. If you would like to be an H Pal for your neck of the woods let me know! I’d be glad to get you added. All that it takes is a little write up, a photograph, and the location that you would like to represent and I’d be happy to put something together for you.

Social Support Networking Alliance - Halifax Nova Scotia has been added to the list of social groups out there. I am still listing social event details too so be sure and send me those events and I’ll be happy to post them.

As always, thank you for your encourage and be sure to share this with those that might benefit in a positive way. If you don’t like receiving these sorts of updates in your mailbox, let me know and I will make the necessary adjustments. If you would like to blog this information, you go right ahead!

So, I am going back to school (I’m a masochist, I know!) for my PhD in Public Health with an emphasis on Community Health and Education. One of my thoughts is to do my dissertation on something STI related, particularly to herpes.

Can you help me out? What are your burning questions and issues with herpes? What do you think could be done better and smarter in the community in terms of educating people?

For instance, the other day, I was visiting coworkers and they got to talking about a girl they knew who really REALLY liked a guy and dated him several times and then he had “the talk” with her. The group acknowledged him (”kudos to the guy for telling her before they got real close and/or intimate”), but all said in knee jerk reaction “oh he has to go bye-bye”. I made the comment that it was very brave of him to tell her and to be rejected out of hand (she left before dinner was served and left the information he had gotten for her behind) had to have hurt. They thought I was being too soft. All I could think was that we really need to increase awareness in the mainstream community about STI’s and how common they are. Oy!

So tell me what you are thinking .. what gets you .. what do you wish was happening in the community, please. I appreciate your help!

Leave your comment here

If you don’t want to sign up for the message board (which is free) then be encouraged to leave a comment here on this post.

Thanks for your help!

What can I say— your site is fabulous— thank you for your encouragement, your boldness—
what a place of freedom and liberation you must be in.

It’s been 5 years for me, and I only recently gathered the courage to put a profile on PositiveSingles—no picture of course.

Dating outside of the virus isn’t working anymore— the stress is just too great.

But sites like this give me a place to be comfortable.

Thanks again for this site– I’m adding it to my favorites. – Anonymous

I hope you guys will not limit yourself to dating only those that have herpes OR any STI for that matter.

I think it’s important to take  your time getting to know the person that you are smitten with.. right?

It’s one reason why I list both herpes dating, std dating and regular online dating sites on my herpes dating page.

Think about it,  you want somebody to like you for who you are and not what you have, right?

So just take your time getting to know those that you are interested in. Go slow. You might find that knowing somebody’s heart trumps knowing about what they have.

If you love each other unconditionally everything else won’t really matter and you can just enjoy being together.

I don’t think you  have to disclose your STD status when you first meet somebody that you could potentially be interested in.

Go on some dates, get to know them, if you think there is a connection and that you are headed towards a more serious and sexually satisfying relationship then you’ll know that it’s time to sit down and talk about STD’s.

Remember,  it’s not all about you and your STD status. You  have a right to know their STD status too.

So talk about it, communicate opening and make a date to go and get tested together BEFORE you have sex. Once you do that you’ll be able to  handle anything as a couple that may come your way.

If you found this post to be of help OR you have any questions at all, please feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

We also have a message board where you can leave a free personal profile. It’s been slow going at first but more and more people are starting to utilize this free service and many people are meeting one another and making new friends in the process.

Thanks and have a great day  ya’ll! : ) – Angela

I’m 35 years old and I was recently diagnosed with herpes simplex one, cold sores of the mouth. I was told by my doctor that if I ever felt a cold sore coming on, then I shouldn’t kiss until it was completely healed. Otherwise, she said that it wasn’t necessary to tell other people about this.

My dilemma is this: I still am not sure is I should share this information with whomever I intend to kiss. It seems to me that since the vast majority of people have herpes simplex one (60-90%) then it doesn’t seem necessary to tell a partner before kissing. Of course, I intend to share this information with someone while dating and before having sex, since I know that this can be spread through oral sex.

I realize that this might be a gray area and more of an ethical question. But it bothers me that I can infect someone regardless if a cold sore is showing or not and so my feeling is that they have a right to know. The problem is that this will make it very difficult for me to date people if I have to have this conversation before having developed intimacy with that person. Any advice? I’m deeply confused! – Anonymous

I think people should be talking to their partner’s about their STD status before they have sex. I think most would agree with me that if you are going to be sexual then you should probably talk to your partner about your status. Likewise, I would hope that you guys would talk to each other about it and make a date to go and get tested together for stuff before you have sex.

I’ve heard people say that as long as you are  just kissing that it’s ok not to tell or talk about it before you kiss them. I would venture to say that if you are worried about it and you care deeply for that person that it’s a conversation worth sharing and if they care for you they will not judge you are hold it against you. That’s just my thoughts on it though. I hope this helps – Angela

Hi, I’ve had genital herpes for over a decade now. My question is this. About 6 months ago or so I started getting very painful cankers in my mouth, on the roof of my mouth and sides (cheeks). I read about oral herpes. Can a person with genital herpes give themselves oral herpes? I have a really bad habit of biting the skin on my fingers so I constantly have my fingers in my mouth. I’m afraid I maybe had a lesion on my thigh at 1 point and rubbed it or scratched my thigh not knowing I had a lesion there & right after I put my fingers in my mouth. As crazy as it may sound, I can see this happening to me. I was hoping you could answer this and maybe get me off doubt. I will greatly appreciate it. It’s a really nice feeling to know there are positive people out there dealing with this thing I am now learning to adjust with. Take care! – Anonymous

Just to be clear, canker sores are Not the herpes virus. In fact, canker sores and herpes simplex virus are two completely different things that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Canker sores is not even a sexually transmitted infection. I just wanted to clear that up.

As for somebody with genital herpes giving themselves oral herpes, I would say that it’s highly unlikely. Especially since your body already  has antibodies and you are passed the initial infection. I think you are probably just being a bit paranoid and that’s understandable since you are still learning about this virus, ya know? – Angela

angela
I know u know me and know my story
and I am so so sorry to be so blunt at this point
i read the feedback etc
so much shit as far as I am concerned
you are an advocate
u know what is going on you give us the correct information
you are so informative in my eyes to all of this
how could you steer us wrong
thank you so much
again for the information on the “GIFT” and I HATE THAT
but you are true to your word and thank you for all
that you have done and keep up the good work you have done for 10 years!!
Happy Birthday PUP!!!
and all that are here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I grew up in a family that wasn’t against premarital sex, but was warned of the risks of unprotected sex. my sisters were 5 and 8 years older than me, and i saw some of the mistakes they made involving sex. one of my sisters had a herpes scare when she was about 18 or 19. i swore to always use protection because not only did i not want to end up with herpes or something worse, but i saw how my other sister made fun of her behind her back.

well, now i’m 18. i work front desk at a hotel and get hit on a lot. i usually don’t accept. then, a construction worker who would be staying there for months hit on me, and something attracted me to him. even though i know i could get fired for having any kind of relationship with him, i went for it. he told me everything i wanted to hear, and without pressure, i slept with him. things were fine, i never had any symptoms.

we continued our relationship for weeks and weeks, and he told me he wanted something more than sex before anything happened. well, a little over a month into it, my vagina started to hurt really badly. i figured it was from rough sex we had the night before, and really thought nothing of it…until it became worse later that night. then i put it off on the new soap and laundry soap that i had used.

the next day, things were so much worse. i had all these nasty painful bumps all over and my vagina was swollen and itchy. i went to the gynecologist the next day and after looking for about 10 seconds, she automatically said herpes. i’m still not entirely convinced it’s herpes.

i don’t get the culture results until next week, but she told me that even if it comes up negative, she still says its herpes. i was put on valtrex, and really made to feel like a slut. regardless, i’ve never felt so much pain in my life. it hurts to sit, it hurts to walk, it hurts to urinate, everything hurts.

regardless if it turns out to be herpes, a severe yeast infection, or an allergic reaction, i’ve learned my lesson. not only did my doctor make me feel like a slut, a classmate at college filled my herpes medication, and i cried the entire day feeling dirty and degraded.

i made the mistake, and now i’m dealing with it. i told my mother, and she was more supportive than i ever thought she would be. she didn’t get mad, and she didn’t judge. i’ve been praying all night that i don’t have herpes, but even if i don’t or even if i do, the lesson is definitely learned.

and now i know that these things can happen after even just one time of intercourse without proper thought before hand. even if you think you know the person, even if they have no symptoms, things happen. i just hope someone out there doesn’t make the same mistakes.

This story was submitted by A. If you’d like to submit your story to be posted please do so. To read the rest of the stories submitted please visit: Inspirational True Stories