A Positive Singles Dating Story
Posted on Tuesday, December 9th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
I met my special someone through this website Positive Singles and I was just diagnosed in Jan 2007. I came home for a vacation last Dec 2006 from UK. I figured out that the guy who gave this to me was the guy I was dating in UK for 1 year and a half. He broke up with me when I told him about the Herpes. It is good as I have tested negative for HIV and other STDs including Herpes when I started going out with him. So I was sure that I got it from him though he denies it until now.
I finally decided to come back to Canada for good and with a thought that I will be happy to spend the rest of my life single if I will not meet someone who will accept me as I am. Sometime in October 2007 while searching for more information about Herpes, I came across Positive Singles, I tried it, saying to myself, nothing to lose. I was amazed how many responses I got, and as any other dating website, you have to screen the qualities of persons you want to meet. At least, you don’t have to discuss Herpes but it is also good to know what other stuff they have.
It also boils down to whether or not you have chemistry, the same qualities, same values, sexual compatibility, etc. I do agree that there are websites that cater to specific needs of people. Whether you have herpes or not, you still have to determine what you want. Having Herpes is just one issue that you at least don’t have to talk over. I do agree that you should not limit yourself to people with herpes only but you have to be strong and determine not to be hurt when you disclose your status and that you will be ready for all the rejection and all the stigma and ignorance from people about herpes.
I don’t think having herpes had been a problem with my partner, much to the point that we enjoy each other even if we have our breakouts. And definitely, the more you talk about herpes, the more people understand, stigma becomes lesser. If in any occasion that I need to disclose, I made this decision that whoever I disclose to are people that I know will accept me as I am and whatever their comments will not affect me.
I can not believe that this guy broke up with you only because of your herpes. Very very bad reason. Are you sure that your herpes was the only reason?
I don’t want to sound mean, but some people may not want to be with someone with an STD. And I do think it is something that eventually needs to be mentioned, but you are correct that it is something that doesn’t need to be mentioned right away when you are trying to Start Love [Link removed by site admin. Please do not post links to other promotional sites. If you continue to do so we will assume you are a snake oil salesman and react accordingly. Thanks.] online. I think that mentioning this early on in the relationship is better than waiting. It can give the person time to think about it and decided what they want and if they care. There are ways to be careful and maybe that discussion could happen as well.