Brand New H Pal from Missouri
Posted on Thursday, August 16th, 2007 at 5:45 AM
Thank God for herpes!! At this point, you’re probably thinking that I’m nuts, right? LOL Let me explain: I was 20 years old when I sat in that emergency room with, what I thought, was a really bad yeast infection. I couldn’t even describe the horror I felt when the doctor said “HSV 2“.
There were so many times over the next ten years that I thought life just wasn’t worth living because I was some kind of leper. Fifteen years later, the man that I was with at the time of my diagnosis died. It was like contracting it all over again because now I was going to have to have The Talk and I was SURE that no one would want me.
I lived in St. Louis at the time and decided to move to Oklahoma after my husband died. I got involved in a support group there, became a moderator and took the time to do all kinds of research so that I could provide support to those 20-year-olds that were where I once was.
It took some time but I finally realized that herpes didn’t define me; it was simply a skin condition that I had to live with even though it didn’t bother me anymore. I’m back in St. Louis now and I haven’t started dating yet but it’s not because of fear of The Talk. Sometimes it turns out well (you’ll even get “So what, so do I” after delivering the news!) and sometimes you choose the wrong person to have The Talk with.
You see, I can say “Thank God for herpes” because what it’s done is made me more selective. You’ll never find me picking up stray guys at bars for one-night stands and I wait much longer into the relationship before getting intimate. In addition to that, some of the best people I’ve ever known are in my life because I met them through a support group.
Wherever you are in the grieving process (that’s exactly what this is), I’m here for you because I’ve ‘been there, done that’. Whatever you’re feeling, I’ve felt it before. Counselors and doctors just don’t have all the facts and people that you’ll meet in this community will become your support line and, in some cases, even save a life. I didn’t have the benefit of the internet when I first found out and it is a wonderful resource.
Just remember … DO NOT let this skin condition define who YOU are! I’m here to help.
God bless!
Jennifer
so what did the person die of?? herpies? I ALWAYS used a condom and I became a statistic. I was hurt that I was the responsible one out of my friends. can you die? I am on valtrex and have n ot had an outbreck in 2 years it’s like not having it. my ex was seady and my fience is a saint. nothing yet thank god.
Julie
tulsa
I don’t think her husband died from having herpes. I write and see if she will come and answer that question for you.
As we all know, condoms do not cover the entire genital area. Condoms are also not without their flaws. So it’s still possible to pass herpes even with condom use.
That’s why it’s so important to talk to your partner(s) and make a date to go and get tested properly before you have sex.
Hi, Julie!
No, my late husband didn’t die from herpes … nor is it even possible. I have, however, heard of too many people that didn’t feel like life was worth living if they had an STD and that’s just crazy talk! Angela is right, condoms only reduce the risk to about 50% due to the area that they cover is not necessarily where the virus lives. I forget where but I did read at one time that Valtrex or it’s generic yet equally effective counterpart, Acyclovir, when taken daily as a suppressant will reduce the risk of transmission to about 4%.
Please do some research about the phenomenon called ’shedding’. You are not only contagious during an outbreak but more so when your body is shedding the virus and, unfortunately, it is impossible to know when that is happening.
“Responsibility” (as you claim) is admirable! Thanks for taking the time to go the extra step to achieve it!
Jennifer
Jennifer,
Is there a support group in the Saint Louis Area?
Hi, Gerry!
There is a group in St. Louis called the St. Louis H Club … I’m not sure if it’s more ’social’ or ’support’ as I am not that involved in it. I think that it is ‘by invitation only’ so if you want to give me your information (email address), I will forward it on to Sandy to see if she’ll invite you to join. If support is what you need, I can provide that either in person (depending on where you are) or by phone, just let me know what you are more comfortable with. :)
Jennifer
Hello! I am Sandy, the group owner for StLouisHClub that Jennifer referred to in her Oct 31 reply. (Thank you for the shout-out, Jennifer!) Anyone who has been diagnosed with HSV or HPV is welcome to join, just visit the website http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/StLouisHClub/ and click on “Join This Group”. We are an online support group, ready and able to provide answers to your questions, share our experiences with H, and connect you with other people and resources in the St. Louis area. Hope to see you soon!
Hi Sandy! Let me know if y’all are interested in joining the Social Support Networking Alliance.
All it takes is a link back from the front page of your yahoo group. If you need help with the code I can certainly do that for you.
Let me know! ;-)
[...] Just my two cents worth, Jennifer [...]