What a great way to end 2008

I used to feel the same way, as did probably, everyone else on here.

The thing that helped me was reading different stories on Angela’s website. (www.yoshi2me.com) Also joining this forum and reading what other people are going through or have gone through, helped a great deal as well.

I was diagnosed in July and was horrified. Went through every stage from denial to suicidal thoughts. But when I came across this forum and Angela’s website, it made me realize this is nothing to be ashamed of and I’m not the only one. You HAVE herpes but you ARE NOT herpes, you can live a normal life with a spouse and children, herpes doesn’t kill you or anyone else, you are not alone! 1 in 5 people have it and 90% don’t even know they have it.

And just because you have herpes, doesn’t mean you’re skanky, dirty, etc. EVERYONE is at risk for an STD. You can sleep with 50 people, or just 1. All it takes is that ONE time for you to catch anything. And if anyone tells you different, well, that’s what your middle finger is for and that’s why you have two ;]

Kudos to Angela and everyone on here. Y’all helped me more than you know and I’m very grateful for that! And thanks to y’all, I now feel that herpes is just a blessing in disguise =]

See what others are saying

It’s so nice and refreshing when somebody writes in with something positive to say about the work that we are doing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart because when times are tough and people are mean it’s a beacon of light at the end of the tunnel and makes it worth it to keep going, even if it means helping only one person at a time. So thank you so much for all of your support, positive energy and good vibes. - Angela aka Yoshi2me

Lysine never did anything for me

I got an interesting e-mail today from Jeanine who had this to say:

How many people have to tell you that Lysine works. You seem to be very knowlegable in pharmaceutical meds. So, I believe You do work for Big Pharma in disquise trying to convince people otherwise. Those who know better than you, know that they will be better off without your information.

A lot of people have told me that L-lysine works for them. However, twice as many people have also told me that L-lysine doesn’t work for them at all. I happen to be one of those people that tried L-lysine and it did absolutely nothing for my herpes outbreaks.

I do not work for anybody at this time. In fact, I am a stay-at-home mother of three beautiful girls. I’ve got my hands full taking care of them and even when I did hold a job, I did not work for any pharmaceutical companies - EVER.

Just because I tell somebody that taking L-lysine didn’t work for me doesn’t mean that I am working for the drug companies. I am entitled to tell you what I know and share what has OR has not worked for me. Am I not entitled to share my own experiences? You have to realize at some point that no two experiences are alike. There are so many factors that go into why stuff may or may not work for some people.

The rest of the note was just plain old mean and rude. I don’t really have anything to say about those rude remarks that were sent my way.

I will share what others have said about L-lysine on my L-lysine feedback page.

How effective is suppressive therapy?

Help help help! How effective is suppression therapy? With Valtrex? My mate doesn’t know I have it and our sex life was finished. then he went and got meds to start it up again. Now I’m panicked. I rarely have outbreaks that I know of. And online articles seem confusing … “shedding is reduced to 8% of the days with suppression therapy” means nothing to me. I’m so confused as to what my odds are to not transmit the virus to him. I can’t find anyone who really knows. My dr. even isn’t sure!!! Do you know anything that may be helpful to me??? - S

Suppressive therapy reduces outbreaks to the point that people don’t experience them like they did when they were first diagnosed. So if outbreaks are a problem for you then suppressive therapy would definitely be the way to go.

For those couples where one has genital herpes and the other doesn’t, suppressive therapy is helpful in reducing transmission to the partner that doesn’t have it. In fact, suppressive therapy reduces transmission by up to 50%. You add condoms to that and I would say that is pretty good protection.

Suppressive therapy also reduces asymptomatic shedding by about 95%. So for those people that do not get outbreaks that they can see or feel.. then they would be reducing the chances of their partner contracting it from them even further by being on suppressive therapy.

It’s really up to the couple to figure out what they want to do though.. that’s why it’s so important to talk about your sexual health, your std status, and make a date to go and get tested together so you will both know and understand what you are dealing with before you have sex.

If you decide that you have more questions feel free and post those on the Shut Up N Post! STD Message Board, ok? - A

Thank You! Positive Singles & Online Dating Tips

What can I say— your site is fabulous— thank you for your encouragement, your boldness—
what a place of freedom and liberation you must be in.

It’s been 5 years for me, and I only recently gathered the courage to put a profile on PositiveSingles—no picture of course.

Dating outside of the virus isn’t working anymore— the stress is just too great.

But sites like this give me a place to be comfortable.

Thanks again for this site– I’m adding it to my favorites. - Anonymous

I hope you guys will not limit yourself to dating only those that have herpes OR any STI for that matter.

I think it’s important to take  your time getting to know the person that you are smitten with.. right?

It’s one reason why I list both herpes dating, std dating and regular online dating sites on my herpes dating page.

Think about it,  you want somebody to like you for who you are and not what you have, right?

So just take your time getting to know those that you are interested in. Go slow. You might find that knowing somebody’s heart trumps knowing about what they have.

If you love each other unconditionally everything else won’t really matter and you can just enjoy being together.

I don’t think you  have to disclose your STD status when you first meet somebody that you could potentially be interested in.

Go on some dates, get to know them, if you think there is a connection and that you are headed towards a more serious and sexually satisfying relationship then you’ll know that it’s time to sit down and talk about STD’s.

Remember,  it’s not all about you and your STD status. You  have a right to know their STD status too.

So talk about it, communicate opening and make a date to go and get tested together BEFORE you have sex. Once you do that you’ll be able to  handle anything as a couple that may come your way.

If you found this post to be of help OR you have any questions at all, please feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

We also have a message board where you can leave a free personal profile. It’s been slow going at first but more and more people are starting to utilize this free service and many people are meeting one another and making new friends in the process.

Thanks and have a great day  ya’ll! : ) - Angela

Should I tell my partner before we kiss?

I’m 35 years old and I was recently diagnosed with herpes simplex one, cold sores of the mouth. I was told by my doctor that if I ever felt a cold sore coming on, then I shouldn’t kiss until it was completely healed. Otherwise, she said that it wasn’t necessary to tell other people about this.

My dilemma is this: I still am not sure is I should share this information with whomever I intend to kiss. It seems to me that since the vast majority of people have herpes simplex one (60-90%) then it doesn’t seem necessary to tell a partner before kissing. Of course, I intend to share this information with someone while dating and before having sex, since I know that this can be spread through oral sex.

I realize that this might be a gray area and more of an ethical question. But it bothers me that I can infect someone regardless if a cold sore is showing or not and so my feeling is that they have a right to know. The problem is that this will make it very difficult for me to date people if I have to have this conversation before having developed intimacy with that person. Any advice? I’m deeply confused! - Anonymous

I think people should be talking to their partner’s about their STD status before they have sex. I think most would agree with me that if you are going to be sexual then you should probably talk to your partner about your status. Likewise, I would hope that you guys would talk to each other about it and make a date to go and get tested together for stuff before you have sex.

I’ve heard people say that as long as you are  just kissing that it’s ok not to tell or talk about it before you kiss them. I would venture to say that if you are worried about it and you care deeply for that person that it’s a conversation worth sharing and if they care for you they will not judge you are hold it against you. That’s just my thoughts on it though. I hope this helps - Angela

Can a person with genital herpes give themselves oral herpes?

Hi, I’ve had genital herpes for over a decade now. My question is this. About 6 months ago or so I started getting very painful cankers in my mouth, on the roof of my mouth and sides (cheeks). I read about oral herpes. Can a person with genital herpes give themselves oral herpes? I have a really bad habit of biting the skin on my fingers so I constantly have my fingers in my mouth. I’m afraid I maybe had a lesion on my thigh at 1 point and rubbed it or scratched my thigh not knowing I had a lesion there & right after I put my fingers in my mouth. As crazy as it may sound, I can see this happening to me. I was hoping you could answer this and maybe get me off doubt. I will greatly appreciate it. It’s a really nice feeling to know there are positive people out there dealing with this thing I am now learning to adjust with. Take care! - Anonymous

Just to be clear, canker sores are Not the herpes virus. In fact, canker sores and herpes simplex virus are two completely different things that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Canker sores is not even a sexually transmitted infection. I just wanted to clear that up.

As for somebody with genital herpes giving themselves oral herpes, I would say that it’s highly unlikely. Especially since your body already  has antibodies and you are passed the initial infection. I think you are probably just being a bit paranoid and that’s understandable since you are still learning about this virus, ya know? - Angela

What a nice thing to say

angela
I know u know me and know my story
and I am so so sorry to be so blunt at this point
i read the feedback etc
so much shit as far as I am concerned
you are an advocate
u know what is going on you give us the correct information
you are so informative in my eyes to all of this
how could you steer us wrong
thank you so much
again for the information on the “GIFT” and I HATE THAT
but you are true to your word and thank you for all
that you have done and keep up the good work you have done for 10 years!!
Happy Birthday PUP!!!
and all that are here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all have crosses to bear

Hello, I just want to say thank you.

I found your site 5 yrs ago when I was 31 yrs old scared to death, and newly diagnosed.

For the first time in yrs I was having one of those days today where I felt down about having this disease.

I was doing a web search when I saw the name “Yoshi2me” and remembered reading your bio years ago.

So I read it again and I just wanted to thank you because you really reminded me that I am not alone and that we all have crosses to bear.

God has a plan for us all and the positive way that you have shared your story and other information, have made me feel better.

You are truly a blessing to others and I pray that God will continue to bless you and your family.

Take Care!

Sharing your courage with others Can make a difference

People send me there stories all the time to post on the site. I think it’s great that folks are reaching out because it really can make a difference in someone’s life. Take for example this feedback I just received about a story that was posted:

Hi Liz,

I just wanted to say that your story made me feel a lot better. I just found out this week that I have herpes. I had an ex bf that found out he had it. I left him in January 08 due to finding out he was messing around  with other men. Some days I don’t know what to do and then some days are better than others it seems. The outbreaks suck, and my one biggest fear is that no one will ever want to date or be with me again. All I can do is try from day to day. You have a great day and thanks for posting.

It’s also nice to get feedback from people that are encouraging what is often times not an easy thing to do. It’s nice easy for somebody to step outside of their comfort zone, put their personal story out there and expect any sort of reaction. But this particular story was read by somebody that was touched by it. That’s basically why I like to refer to these stories as sharing your courage with others. That’s what you are really doing if you stop and think about it. You are sharing your courage with others.

So keep up the good work ladies and gentlemen. I’m also interested in posting more stories. It doesn’t always have to be in reference to herpes, HPV or even STD’s.

What are you waiting for? Why not share your courage with others today?

L-Lysine Feedback

I have been taking lysine for 3+ months now. I am truly a skeptic so my opinion is based on experience and not speculation.

Lysine has shown for me to reduce the length and severity of outbreaks dramatically. Normally 9-10 days from initial tingle to normal skin is my recovery rate.

I started with 1g per day and saw a noticeable decrease in outbreak severity. I upped it to 2g per day and reduced the recovery time from 9 days to 3-4 days.

Also the length of time from one out break to the next was increased from about every 30 days to every 45-50 days. I plan on upping the dose to 3g per day and seeing if there is any effect for the next 90 days.

As a side note, for years I was experiencing outbreaks maybe 3-4 times per year. I never treated or used suppressive therapy and just accepted it.

Over the last 2 years, I have seen increased outbreaks to every 30 days. I decided in Dec 07 to take a proactive stance and see if there was any change.

Lysine seems to work at reducing the recovery rate quite nicely but does not seem to reduce the frequency enough to stand on a mountain and claim victory. Maybe this is a cumulative thing so I will stay on the current regime for another 120 days and re-evaluate. - Joe

Read what others are saying about L-Lysine