A Positive Singles Dating Story

I met my special someone through this website Positive Singles and I was just diagnosed in Jan 2007. I came home for a vacation last Dec 2006 from UK. I figured out that the guy who gave this to me was the guy I was dating in UK for 1 year and a half. He broke up with me when I told him about the Herpes. It is good as I have tested negative for HIV and other STDs including Herpes when I started going out with him. So I was sure that I got it from him though he denies it until now.

I finally decided to come back to Canada for good and with a thought that I will be happy to spend the rest of my life single if I will not meet someone who will accept me as I am. Sometime in October 2007 while searching for more information about Herpes, I came across Positive Singles, I tried it, saying to myself, nothing to lose. I was amazed how many responses I got, and as any other dating website, you have to screen the qualities of persons you want to meet. At least, you don’t have to discuss Herpes but it is also good to know what other stuff they have.

It also boils down to whether or not you have chemistry, the same qualities, same values, sexual compatibility, etc. I do agree that there are websites that cater to specific needs of people. Whether you have herpes or not, you still have to determine what you want. Having Herpes is just one issue that you at least don’t have to talk over. I do agree that you should not limit yourself to people with herpes only but you have to be strong and determine not to be hurt when you disclose your status and that you will be ready for all the rejection and all the stigma and ignorance from people about herpes.

I don’t think having herpes had been a problem with my partner, much to the point that we enjoy each other even if we have our breakouts. And definitely, the more you talk about herpes, the more people understand, stigma becomes lesser. If in any occasion that I need to disclose, I made this decision that whoever I disclose to are people that I know will accept me as I am and whatever their comments will not affect me.

Have you tried Positive Singles?

See what others are saying about Positive Singles

FDA Issues Final Rule on Condom Labeling

After an extended review, the federal Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently published final rules governing the labeling of male latex condoms. Following the evaluation of both clinical and epidemiological research as well as public comments on proposed changes to labeling, the FDA concluded that “scientific evidence today continues to fully support the overall effectiveness of latex condoms in reducing the risk of transmission of common STIs.”

Changes to condom labeling were originally proposed in 2005. Among the proposed changes at that time included language specific to STDs: “Condoms provide less protection for certain STDs, including genital herpes and human papillomavirus (HPV) infection, that can also be How to Use A Condom spread by contact with infected skin outside the area covered by the condom. Condoms cannot protect against these STDs when they are spread in this way.”

When the FDA solicited public comment on the suggested changes in 2005, they received more than 100 responses from consumers, health professionals, industry, academia, state and Federal government agencies, as well as professional societies and organizations. After a review of public comment, as well as current research on condom effectiveness, the FDA concluded that recent studies confirmed that latex condoms can reduce transmission risk, and cited recent studies on HPV specifically that provided additional evidence to support this conclusion.

As stated in the federal register, “The benefit of this final rule is that establishing the labeling guidance as a special control ensures that manufacturers will provide consumers with the information they need to make an informed decision regarding the use of latex condoms and to use them safely and effectively. The labeling guidance helps ensure that information provided to consumers does not undervalue the overall STI-risk reduction provided by latex condom use, but does not exaggerate the effectiveness of latex condoms against certain types of STIs.”

This final rule will go into effect January 9, 2009. While latex condoms that were legally marketed prior to the effective date of this final rule will have 11 months from that date to comply with the new labeling requirements, new products will be required to comply immediately upon the rule taking effect.

How effective is suppressive therapy?

Help help help! How effective is suppression therapy? With Valtrex? My mate doesn’t know I have it and our sex life was finished. then he went and got meds to start it up again. Now I’m panicked. I rarely have outbreaks that I know of. And online articles seem confusing … “shedding is reduced to 8% of the days with suppression therapy” means nothing to me. I’m so confused as to what my odds are to not transmit the virus to him. I can’t find anyone who really knows. My dr. even isn’t sure!!! Do you know anything that may be helpful to me??? - S

Suppressive therapy reduces outbreaks to the point that people don’t experience them like they did when they were first diagnosed. So if outbreaks are a problem for you then suppressive therapy would definitely be the way to go.

For those couples where one has genital herpes and the other doesn’t, suppressive therapy is helpful in reducing transmission to the partner that doesn’t have it. In fact, suppressive therapy reduces transmission by up to 50%. You add condoms to that and I would say that is pretty good protection.

Suppressive therapy also reduces asymptomatic shedding by about 95%. So for those people that do not get outbreaks that they can see or feel.. then they would be reducing the chances of their partner contracting it from them even further by being on suppressive therapy.

It’s really up to the couple to figure out what they want to do though.. that’s why it’s so important to talk about your sexual health, your std status, and make a date to go and get tested together so you will both know and understand what you are dealing with before you have sex.

If you decide that you have more questions feel free and post those on the Shut Up N Post! STD Message Board, ok? - A

Has anyone confused Vulvodynia with Herpes?

This questions was asked over here and it dawned on me that I don’t know anybody with Vulvodynia. Well I do know of somebody that could help to answer some of these questions but I haven’t heard from her in a very long time. Anybody?

Should I tell my partner before we kiss?

I’m 35 years old and I was recently diagnosed with herpes simplex one, cold sores of the mouth. I was told by my doctor that if I ever felt a cold sore coming on, then I shouldn’t kiss until it was completely healed. Otherwise, she said that it wasn’t necessary to tell other people about this.

My dilemma is this: I still am not sure is I should share this information with whomever I intend to kiss. It seems to me that since the vast majority of people have herpes simplex one (60-90%) then it doesn’t seem necessary to tell a partner before kissing. Of course, I intend to share this information with someone while dating and before having sex, since I know that this can be spread through oral sex.

I realize that this might be a gray area and more of an ethical question. But it bothers me that I can infect someone regardless if a cold sore is showing or not and so my feeling is that they have a right to know. The problem is that this will make it very difficult for me to date people if I have to have this conversation before having developed intimacy with that person. Any advice? I’m deeply confused! - Anonymous

I think people should be talking to their partner’s about their STD status before they have sex. I think most would agree with me that if you are going to be sexual then you should probably talk to your partner about your status. Likewise, I would hope that you guys would talk to each other about it and make a date to go and get tested together for stuff before you have sex.

I’ve heard people say that as long as you are  just kissing that it’s ok not to tell or talk about it before you kiss them. I would venture to say that if you are worried about it and you care deeply for that person that it’s a conversation worth sharing and if they care for you they will not judge you are hold it against you. That’s just my thoughts on it though. I hope this helps - Angela

Can a person with genital herpes give themselves oral herpes?

Hi, I’ve had genital herpes for over a decade now. My question is this. About 6 months ago or so I started getting very painful cankers in my mouth, on the roof of my mouth and sides (cheeks). I read about oral herpes. Can a person with genital herpes give themselves oral herpes? I have a really bad habit of biting the skin on my fingers so I constantly have my fingers in my mouth. I’m afraid I maybe had a lesion on my thigh at 1 point and rubbed it or scratched my thigh not knowing I had a lesion there & right after I put my fingers in my mouth. As crazy as it may sound, I can see this happening to me. I was hoping you could answer this and maybe get me off doubt. I will greatly appreciate it. It’s a really nice feeling to know there are positive people out there dealing with this thing I am now learning to adjust with. Take care! - Anonymous

Just to be clear, canker sores are Not the herpes virus. In fact, canker sores and herpes simplex virus are two completely different things that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Canker sores is not even a sexually transmitted infection. I just wanted to clear that up.

As for somebody with genital herpes giving themselves oral herpes, I would say that it’s highly unlikely. Especially since your body already  has antibodies and you are passed the initial infection. I think you are probably just being a bit paranoid and that’s understandable since you are still learning about this virus, ya know? - Angela

Things Happen

I grew up in a family that wasn’t against premarital sex, but was warned of the risks of unprotected sex. my sisters were 5 and 8 years older than me, and i saw some of the mistakes they made involving sex. one of my sisters had a herpes scare when she was about 18 or 19. i swore to always use protection because not only did i not want to end up with herpes or something worse, but i saw how my other sister made fun of her behind her back.

well, now i’m 18. i work front desk at a hotel and get hit on a lot. i usually don’t accept. then, a construction worker who would be staying there for months hit on me, and something attracted me to him. even though i know i could get fired for having any kind of relationship with him, i went for it. he told me everything i wanted to hear, and without pressure, i slept with him. things were fine, i never had any symptoms.

we continued our relationship for weeks and weeks, and he told me he wanted something more than sex before anything happened. well, a little over a month into it, my vagina started to hurt really badly. i figured it was from rough sex we had the night before, and really thought nothing of it…until it became worse later that night. then i put it off on the new soap and laundry soap that i had used.

the next day, things were so much worse. i had all these nasty painful bumps all over and my vagina was swollen and itchy. i went to the gynecologist the next day and after looking for about 10 seconds, she automatically said herpes. i’m still not entirely convinced it’s herpes.

i don’t get the culture results until next week, but she told me that even if it comes up negative, she still says its herpes. i was put on valtrex, and really made to feel like a slut. regardless, i’ve never felt so much pain in my life. it hurts to sit, it hurts to walk, it hurts to urinate, everything hurts.

regardless if it turns out to be herpes, a severe yeast infection, or an allergic reaction, i’ve learned my lesson. not only did my doctor make me feel like a slut, a classmate at college filled my herpes medication, and i cried the entire day feeling dirty and degraded.

i made the mistake, and now i’m dealing with it. i told my mother, and she was more supportive than i ever thought she would be. she didn’t get mad, and she didn’t judge. i’ve been praying all night that i don’t have herpes, but even if i don’t or even if i do, the lesson is definitely learned.

and now i know that these things can happen after even just one time of intercourse without proper thought before hand. even if you think you know the person, even if they have no symptoms, things happen. i just hope someone out there doesn’t make the same mistakes.

This story was submitted by A. If you’d like to submit your story to be posted please do so. To read the rest of the stories submitted please visit: Inspirational True Stories

The Gigantic Herpes Cookie

Could you imagine getting something like this delivered to your home or place of employment?

Hopefully it was something somebody decided to do for a significant other in the privacy of their own dwelling.

What would your reaction be to getting something like that?

Nasty Rash: Herpes

Not everything that happens down there is always going to be because of herpes.

That is why it’s so important to see the doctor.

Try not to diagnose yourself and please insist on proper testing.

Herpes does not always look some something, ok?

When was the last time you were tested for STD’s including Herpes?

Herpes Outbreaks

What are you doing to treat your herpes outbreaks?

Have you tried alternative?

Do you tend to stick to the clinically proven stuff?

Why or Why Not!?