I am a better person because of my STD

I started writing my story full of pain and anguish when I decided to change it. Being diagnosed with HPV and molluscum at 19 is the farthest thing from easy, but it has made me a stronger person and helped me realize just how lucky I am.

For months I was in and out of the doctors being treated for these two viruses. When I first found the bump I was told it was simply a skin tag by two doctors. A month and a test later, new bumps formed and I was then told I had HPV as well as molluscum. It was an emotional roller coaster ride where I was being thrown back and forth between having an STD and having a normal condition. I lost weight, became depressed and barely passed my classes. After reading all the information on the Internet and seeing the horrible pictures, I also became paranoid and was tested for other STDs multiple times to make sure I didn’t have them as well. Not to mention it strained the relationship between my boyfriend and me significantly. But there is good news despite all this…

Six months later, I am a unbelievably stronger and better person than I was before being diagnosed. I vowed to treat my body with respect and did everything possible to get better. I began taking vitamins everyday, got more sleep, quit drinking and smoking, and ate good foods. I read books on how to strengthen my immune system and learned everything there is to know about the viruses I have. I know it may seem like HPV is a sentence for life, but it is not. I had only two outbreaks and for five months now I haven’t had any!! Your body can heal itself in miraculous ways, but only if you give it the right tools to do so.

Healing is not just physical though…it’s also spiritual and emotional. After finding out you have an STD it is hard not to feel guilty and get down on yourself. I blamed myself for not being careful and felt like no one would ever want to be with me again. A lot of the times I was disgusted with my body and just wanted to jump out of my skin. But I was very blessed to have support from my family and boyfriend. They all told me that having a virus does not define who I am. I am the same person and they love me the same as they did before. It took me awhile to feel this way about myself, but with time I got there. I realized that some things are just out of your control. You must simply accept them and try your best to deal with them. Sitting down and dwelling on it will never get you anywhere; you can only go forward and learn from the obstacles that come your way.

If having an STD taught me anything it is to love myself no matter what. I am the only one who is able to define how I will live my life, not a virus. That is all HPV or any other STD is….a tiny, little virus. It’s your choice whether or not you let it stop you from being yourself. Know that there is a power higher than you and no problem, circumstance, or situation is greater than God. - Alisa

Share your courage with others!