Do you have questions? Where are you from?
Posted on Thursday, November 27th, 2008 at 8:57 AM
Happy Thanksgiving you guys. We really do have so much to be Thankful for. Count your blessings and know that no matter what you are going through that you can get through it and be Happy.
Today if you are searching the internet for answers to your most intimate and personal questions, I want to encourage you to ask your question in the comment section. Me and the regular followers of this blog will do our best to help you get to the bottom of those questions.
Remember, we don’t know everybody but we have been around long enough that we might be able to point you in the right direction. I know that with the Holidays come the opportunity to be home from work and to have some peace and quiet to get caught up on those things that you wouldn’t normally have a chance to work on.
If you don’t have any questions please feel free to just say hello and let us know where you are writing from and what you are up to today. Take Care Everybody!
I just found out I have herpes/gential and hpv in oct of this year.i live in prague, oklahoma and their so no suppoert groups close enough to me to go too. I have pretty much excepted the fact that i have this. Im 19 and a single mom. I start college in Jan in seminole. I just feel to alone most of the time. All my old friends are still being kids and doing all that stupid grap. I have learned my lesson in a bad way but still. I am so scared of being alone forever. I am scared to date because when it gets to that point how do i tell someone i have this.. i dont know a single person here that is in the same situation. I need a friendly person to talk too. Could you please help me in the right direction
thanks tons
jamie
hi I’m petrified. I haven’t even kissed anyone let alone been sexually active for over 4 years. (due to a complete inability to ever trust anyone again after the last relationship). I’ve always been super healthy and super fit, but since moving to japan about a year ago, I have had 2 outbreaks of what i believe to be herpes (one a year ago and one last night: which appears to be a single lump on my labia majora, which never comes to a head or scabs over, but hurts like hell) i went to the dr. before and let her convince me it’s “vaginal acne”. tomorrow I am going back and demanding that she test me for herpes, even though she keeps laughing and telling me there’s no way. I guess it’s possible that for 3 years I’ve had no symptoms? Again, I’ve always been so healthy, so maybe it’s just the stress of moving to another country that gave the virus room to manifest? anyways…I feel like dieing. I’m in a foreign country and there’s no one around that I dare talk to about this. I can’t think straight, and I can’t pull myself together to stop crying, so I’m taking the day off tomorrow to go to the doc and get this straightened out. i hear blood test is the best way to go about this, but this is Japan so I dont know what methods they use. I’m not due to come back to the U.S. til 2010, but i can’t help but feel like there’s never a chance that I’ll be able to trust anyone again, and even if I could, who the hell would want me now anyway?
I was diagnosed in March, and at the time, my partner was my rock and my best friend. We had no way of knowing which of us was the carrier so I made peace with it. We broke up 2 nights ago and now I have to finally deal with living with it alone. I’ve just spent all morning scouring the internet for scientists saying a cure is near, but it’s not true, is it? I’m dealing with the same things as frightened expat and jamie – how do I have a relationship? How do I acknowledge that I have to spend the rest of my life alone?
For frightened expat – it is possible for you not to have an outbreak. Many don’t have outbreaks at all so they don’t know that they have it, and that’s a leading cause of the spread of HSV. Being tested is just a smart thing to do regardless of what your quack doctor seems to be saying, and please test yourself for all possible STDs. A full medical checkup will NOT check for STDs, usually only HIV, as I’ve found out, so your doctor telling you after a medical that you’re “clean” is not necessarily true.
@jamie – There is an online support group for those living in Oklahoma called the Oklahoma H Club if you would like to give that one a try. We also have the Shut Up N Post! STD Message Board in case you would like to try that one too. It never hurts to be a part of more than one group. You never know who is going to be able to see and respond to your concerns with some knowledge and know-how. You are more than welcome to try both! We also have some H Pal Friends you can reach out to, also.
@frightened expatriate – I think it’s always a good idea to see your doctor and have them run the appropriate tests. That’s really the only way to figure out what is going on for sure. It’s always a good idea to know your status. As for the trust issues, have you thought about seeking the advice of a professional counselor?
@helpless – I’m so sorry that you broke up with your partner. Break-ups are not always easy but a good way to see that something is not quite right with the relationship, ya know?
I don’t understand why you feel that you will spend the rest of your life alone? That’s not true at all. Honestly, I think you should give yourself some time to heal and be by yourself for awhile. Give yourself some time for your head to clear.
Angela, I guess it just feels like “who would ever take me now that I have this”, you know? And I’m from Malaysia, a very conservative Muslim country. We’re not at the level where everybody wears burqas and there’s no alcohol, but it’s still very conservative and I’m just so scared someone will find out. I guess it also hurts twice as much that I really thought he was the one and I was already planning the wedding in my head.
@helpless, you do know that it’s normal to feel that way in the beginning right? Nobody needs to know about your personal business. It’s really none of their concern. The only person that you need to talk to about it is the person that you find to be your life partner. When somebody loves you for you they won’t let this be an issue. Next time take your time and make things go a bit slower. When somebody really loves you they are willing to go that extra mile for you.
Angela, I do get that it’s normal to feel this way, and I know there’s hope for a real relationship and kids and the extra mile. I just worry that if I do find someone who cares that much about me and is willing to spend his life with me, that I’ll infect him because suppressive therapy and condoms don’t guarantee non-transmission. That’s something that I couldn’t forgive myself for. How do you deal with that?
@helpless – I went through the same thing that you are going through right now with my husband. He finally sat me down and told me that our relationship takes two to make it work. He told me that he is a big boy and that he understands the risk and that I am worth that risk and should put those type of thoughts out of my mind. He also told me that ultimately if he winds up contracting it from me, he doesn’t care and that what matters is that we are together and that we love each other. So maybe it’s time for you to put it out of your mind and not worry so much.
Not sure if this is speaking my mind or not, but I am just wondering where I can find out about “H” parties in Canada!? I have found that there are a few in America in different states, but I can’t seem to find any that are close to where I am! I have had this for almost a year now and have yet to meet someone else in my situation.
Any information would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks.
Christine
If you do find some social groups in Canada, encourage them to get listed here: Social Support Networking Alliance (SSNA) – Good Luck!