How I made it through telling a potential partner that I have genital herpes type-1
well i havent posted in a while. but last time i was very upset and somewhat scared about telling a potential partner.
well i have been seeing this guys for a bout 2 weeks. and while we are not interested in a sexual relationship at the mo. i wanted to tell him because i dont want to fall in love with him and then have him totally disgusted with me when he finds out i have hsv1 genital herpes.
So last night i sat him down and told him i had something to tell him. then we sat there in silence for about 3 minutes. I ended up explaining when i had comparing it to the coldsore virus which is essentially what i have. i told him all the information i could and told him place he could find out more information.
he was totally silent through all of this and i was preparing to be hurt (emotionally) again. but no when i finished he looked me in the eye and said that he was sorry that i had the virus but that i shouldnt feel like it is me. that he likes me for who i am and the virus didnt change that.
he said that he thought i was going to tell him something worse. (and im thinking what could be worse than this) and he said that he thought i didnt want to see him anymore and that he is so glad i told him.
:):):) omg i am on top of the world at the moment. i feel so great. i think i am a lot harder on myself about this thing than what others will ever be on me. i just wanted to share my story to let others know that there are many ppl out there who are able to see you for you.
and i wish you every success and love.
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I have just told my partner I had herpes. I have been symptom free for five years. We have been together once with protection. At first, he said it was no deal breaker and was fine. Then at the end of the day, he said he was ‘taking the night off from me’ and maybe we shouldn’t spend so much time together, after just the night before he told me how much he was falling in love with me and for over a month, treating me like a queen. I got terribly upset and he changed his mind and wanted to come over. I took the ‘night off’ and said no, and that I hoped he would not leave me over this and that I did the right thing. He agreed but I hope this isn’t going to be a huge deal-breaker sexually, as I (and my son too) are really starting to care for him. It’s fine for lip service but time will tell here in the immediate future, if he is going to be ok with me or not. Being widowed with my late husband having herpes too, I never thought it as being an issue until my new boyfriend’s reaction of completely wanting to chuck our night together and spend less time together. After things calmed down, he denies telling me we should spend less time together and now, he’s back on the bandwagon of wanting to be with me. I am confused as anything as I don’t trust he is going to stay consistent. I just can’t afford to get hurt and neither does my son deserve someone just walking out of our life. I sure hope he isn’t going to pull away and do the let-her-down-easy thing. It will be awhile until I can fully feel confident in this relationship and safe, again emotionally.
I’m so glad that you shared what you are going through. I was a single parent for eight years so I understand a little bit about what you are going through. I don’t blame you for questioning your relationship with him. So far he isn’t really doing anything that shows you that he truly cares about you and most importantly your son.
I had this boyfriend for 2 years and a year ago, he had to move away because of work related reasons. we never discussed our status, and even though we have always kept in touch, I didn’ know whether it was Ok or not for me to start dating somebody else. After a while I met this guy who I briefly dated. He left me with the little gift of “H”. I was devastated, but especially of telling my ex boyfriend. Just yesterday my boyfriend came to spend the weekend with me and I had to tell him. Five minutes before I told him, he wanted to be with me so bad, after I told him, he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He caught me off guard since he practically showed up at my house, and I didn’t have any pamphlets or anything to give him. He said that he probably wouldn’t want to have sex with me again and that he needed to do a lot of research before even considering that. I understand that, but it still hurts. Here I am thinking that the man who supposedly loved me, left “H” get in the way. I hear stories of people telling other partners and them being accepted. I hope one day that’s me. One thing I’m grateful for, “H” was definitely an eye opener as I got to see the true colors of my ex, whom I highly had on a pedestal.
I guess he wasn’t as into you as you thought he might be. Have you stopped to think that maybe he just wanted to be with you for sex? I know that people don’t always want to hear that but maybe that’s the case in this situation. I don’t know, what do you think?