I truly think he cares for me, but …

From the Feedback Form

Hi, I have been living with HSV-1 for 3 years now, and am still dealing with the “relationship” issues.  I contracted it from my ex-boyfriend who was sleeping with 3 other women during our relationship.

I recently met a “normy” and we had the talk early on.  He decided that he would accept me because what I have does not define who I am.  I was so happy and relieved to finally meet someone who realizes that fact!

He too is not perfect, and one imperfection for him was that he couldn’t keep it hard during sex. (he’s an older gentleman, 48, with a bad heart and on meds) I accepted him for that, because, hey, who am I to judge. lol.  I am a very open minded person, anyway.

Well, just last night we talked about some things and it was brought out into the open that it’s not nature that causes him to not keep it hard, but the use of a condom. Wow!  I thought, not knowing how to feel about that.  He said that he knows my great qualities and we have so much chemistry between us, but when it comes to sex…he’s really nervous!

I am on suppressive therapy with Valtrex, always have been.  He’s performed oral sex on me quite a few times, and I on him.  Now, I did mention, that if he’s not using a condom with other women before me, then he’s taking an even bigger risk.  He feels that because he doesn’t sleep with a lot of people, then he’s not at risk.  He’s so wrong, and I didn’t want to be the one to point fingers, cause I am no poster child.

My heart is so broken, I felt like just when I thought I had accepted that I have HSV-1, here and now with a broken heart, I’m no so sure….again!  What can I say to him, if anything, or do for that matter to make it easier for him?  To put his mind more at ease?  I truly think this guy cares for me, but the sex issue is weighing too much on his mind.

From Angela aka Yoshi2me

Why don’t you sit down and talk about making a date to go and get tested together so you will know what his status is and he will too?

It’s not all about the fact that you have genital herpes type-1. I think you have a right to know what his status is so you will know what you are dealing with too, right?

Or am I not understanding your question?