Sexual Health Buzz

Can you give your partner herpes by french kissing?

Yes and No.

Yes, it is possible to give your partner herpes by french kissing if you have oral herpes.

No, it is not possible to give your partner herpes by french kissing if you do not have oral herpes.

If you have a history of cold sores or fever blisters then it’s probably very likely that you have oral herpes. If you’re not sure then you should see your doctor for proper herpes testing.

Dear Glaxo Smith Kline,

I’ve been meaning to give you some feedback for quite some time and a member that joined our group today has motivated me to take some time to contact you.

I feel, as one of the largest and most respected drug manufacturers, you have a tremendous opportunity to educate the public but you seem to be avoiding the topic in your advertisements. I am one of the moderators of a worldwide support group for those with HSV (herpes simplex virus) and we have seen a disturbing rise in members joining that have HSV1 genitally and contracted it from someone through oral sex when the person honestly believed that it was ‘just a cold sore’.

It would be so awesome if just one company (you?) would have the nerve to identify cold sores / fever blisters as being herpes especially since up to 80% of the population has it and it CAN be transmitted to someone’s genitals.

I just wanted to give you my feedback and, hopefully, you’re listening.
Thank you! – Jennifer

I believe GSK sent back some sort of automated response. So… we decided to go ahead and post this letter via the blog just in case someone high up would see it here. Thanks!

Here’s what other’s had to say about Valtrex Commercials

is it possible to get herpes type 2 from type 1?

No, HSV-1 doesn’t miraculously turn into HSV-2. A person can be properly tested for herpes to find out if they have HSV-1, HSV-2, both OR nothing at all.

i broke out on my face on and off since 2001. i was tested for genital herpes and was negative. i had blood work done recently and they diagnosed me with type 1 and 2 herpes. i have been with my husband for 9 years and he doesn’t have it, but i do. i didn’t have the type 2 prior to meeting my husband. i’m confused how i got type 2. any idea?

Just because you’ve broken out on your face doesn’t mean those sores are herpes. The only way to know for sure would be to have your doctor do a herpes culture on the sores to figure that out once and for all.

If you were diagnosed with HSV-1 and HSV-2 then statistically you probably have oral facial herpes type-1 and genital herpes type-2. If you have a history of cold sores and/or fever blisters then that would explain the oral herpes type-1.

If you have more questions be sure and ask them over on our Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board, k? Don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and talk to your doctor about this stuff too.

I recently recieved a couple of questions via my private mailing account over on our Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board. Normally I don’t respond to questions sent via the private message system because I think it sort of takes away from the board. But since these are really great questions I thought I would post the questions and answer them right here on the blog. That way, we can kill two birds with one stone and maybe help somebody else out there that is asking the same type of questions.

What are we waiting for? We’re waiting for me to post the questions and then answer them. Here are the questions:

1. Was is difficult for you to become sexually active again?

When I was first diagnosed I didn’t even want to think about sex. I was still trying to wrap my brain around the diagnosis. I was obsessed with trying to figure out where this herpes thing came from and how I was going to get rid of it. When I found out there was no cure for herpes I sank into a deep depression.

I think it’s important to give yourself time to heal, time to soak up the news about herpes, time to be sad, time to be angry, and time to learn everything that you can about the virus before you have sex again. Everybody is entitled to some time to grieve and figure out what’s what with regard herpes ie: what it is and how it works. I think the biggest part of it to get over is the fact that there is no way to get rid of it. Once you accept that and get to a point where you realize that having herpes doesn’t define who you are, you can begin to move forward with your life.

The other part to becoming sexually active again is to figure out what this means for you and your partner. I would like to suggest that the two of you keep things open and honest. Make a date to go and get tested so that the both of you can know what you are dealing with and can make decisions that are going to work for you guys together as a couple.

Many couples tend to jump the gun and automatically assume that there has been cheating in the relationship. Try not to go there at first because while there are people out there that do cheat… that doesn’t mean there has been cheating in your relationship. You’ll have to check yourself and see what your gut is telling you as well as your partner’s actions and reactions to the news. Remember, not everybody that has herpes knows that they have it. It is still possible to pass herpes even if there are no signs or symptoms that you can see or feel. Not all std testing includes proper herpes testing so you can’t assume that you have always been free and clear just because your std testing comes back normal. You have to actually ask the doctor or clinic what exactly you were tested for so that you will know for sure. Sadly, many people that get cold sores don’t realize that what they have is herpes and they are passing it to their partners via oral sex. Ok… on to the next question.

2. Has having the virus affected how frequent you are able to be intimate with your husband?

Have you read our telling story yet? :] — If you haven’t read our story yet you should because my husband is truly my match made from heaven. He understands that I have herpes, he understands that having it doesn’t define who I am, he is totally in love with ME, he understands the risk…and if it means he gets to be with me for the rest of our lives he thinks I’m totally worth it! To answer your question, no… my having herpes doesn’t affect how often we are able to have sex.

In the beginning stages of knowing I had herpes and dealing with symptoms I did make the decision to go on suppressive therapy. I explain all of that on my Herpes Biography page… so if you haven’t had a chance to read that yet, you might want to.

3. Does having sex increase the frequency and intensity of your outbreaks?

I would have to say that was true for me in the beginning. With that said… friction was a huge prodrome for me. Suppressive therapy is what solved that problem for me. I’ve had genital herpes for 14 years now and I don’t have trouble with outbreaks any more like I did the first couple of years. I am also not on suppressive therapy any more. I think that your body sort of gets used to having the virus around after some time and just deals with it. Suppressive therapy isn’t for everybody but I would say that if you are having frequent outbreaks or trying to protect your partner and keep them from contracting herpes from you, that you should definitely consider suppressive therapy with a clinically proven herpes antiviral. Talk to your doctor about it for sure.

I’m 35 years old and I was recently diagnosed with herpes simplex one, cold sores of the mouth. I was told by my doctor that if I ever felt a cold sore coming on, then I shouldn’t kiss until it was completely healed. Otherwise, she said that it wasn’t necessary to tell other people about this.

My dilemma is this: I still am not sure is I should share this information with whomever I intend to kiss. It seems to me that since the vast majority of people have herpes simplex one (60-90%) then it doesn’t seem necessary to tell a partner before kissing. Of course, I intend to share this information with someone while dating and before having sex, since I know that this can be spread through oral sex.

I realize that this might be a gray area and more of an ethical question. But it bothers me that I can infect someone regardless if a cold sore is showing or not and so my feeling is that they have a right to know. The problem is that this will make it very difficult for me to date people if I have to have this conversation before having developed intimacy with that person. Any advice? I’m deeply confused! – Anonymous

I think people should be talking to their partner’s about their STD status before they have sex. I think most would agree with me that if you are going to be sexual then you should probably talk to your partner about your status. Likewise, I would hope that you guys would talk to each other about it and make a date to go and get tested together for stuff before you have sex.

I’ve heard people say that as long as you are  just kissing that it’s ok not to tell or talk about it before you kiss them. I would venture to say that if you are worried about it and you care deeply for that person that it’s a conversation worth sharing and if they care for you they will not judge you are hold it against you. That’s just my thoughts on it though. I hope this helps – Angela

Here’s the situation:

I have hsv-1 genitally. I contracted it from oral sex with my boyfriend. He had a cold sore and didnt think anything about it. We are still together but he says he wont have sex with me until we are married. I can understand that because he doesnt want to get it too. It also hurts because it feels like he is doubting if we will last. I want to be with him but I am not ready to get married, I am only 19.

Then again, to me it seems very selfish because I trusted him and he gave me this. I don’t know if we can make this work because we both see the situation differently. I don’t want to have to wait to have sex because it doesnt feel like he is even sexually attracted to me anymore. It might be because I am already insecure about myself, but do you know anything about our situation?

Since he already has cold sores wouldn’t he have some antibodies against type 1.? Can i still transmit it to him genitally or orally? I just don’t know how to make our relationship better, but I think that being able to have sex would help us intimately. I am still embarrassed about it and scared. I just need some help or support. I would really be grateful if you could email me back. Even if you could shed some relationship feedback. I just really need some help. I just cant stop thinking about this and want to get on with my life. Thank you for listening. – Anonymous

Here’s my response:

Ok, he says he won’t have sex with you until you are married. What does he think oral sex is?

He already  have Herpes Type-1. You contracted it from him, remember? You might want to remind him that he already has it.

Having sex with him is not going to make the two of you connect better. The fact is, if you can’t connect before having sex then there isn’t much hope that it will get better by having sex. You can’t make somebody love you and I would hope that you wouldn’t want to.

I think deep down inside you probably know that he isn’t the right one for you. Don’t waste any more precious time with him. You  have your entire life ahead of you and there are so many good men out there that would love and cherish you for who you are.

If you think that you have poor self esteem then maybe you need to be by yourself for awhile so you can figure out who you are. If you are happy with you then you will be even more happy when the right person does come along.

At 19 the last thing you should be thinking about is getting married. This is the time in your life to go to school, travel, have fun with your friends… be free!

Hope this helps – Angela

Here’s the comment I got:

Hi, I just moved into a apartment with two other girls. I just found out that one of the girls has herpes on her face. I just wanted to know what I should do to protect myself from getting it. I was also wondering what the chance are that I contract herpes.

Here are my two cents:

First all, how do you know that your room mate has herpes on her face? Does she have a history of cold sores OR fever blisters?

What makes you think that you are going to contract herpes from her? Are you letting her perform oral sex on you? Have you been kissing her while she is going through an outbreak?

Have you ever been tested for herpes yourself? Do you know your status?

I had a dental appointment yesterday so I went.

When I got there they wanted me to fill out another informational history page because they were getting a new computer system and there was a glitch with the old one.

So I sat down to fill out the page to include my medical history where you have to check which scenarios describe what you’ve experienced.

Among all the other health issues that they want you to check yes or no on I found herpes listed 3 times on the page. It actually made me giggle a bit when I saw that.

They had herpes listed 3 times as: herpes, cold sores/fever blisters, and genital herpes.

So what I did is I said YES for herpes, NO for coldsores/fever blisters, and YES for genital herpes. Then at the bottom of the page where it asked for comments I write a note letting them know that they had listed herpes 3 times and that I thought they should know so they could fix their form.

Then I put a smilie face and turned it in.

My dental appointment was a complete success.

No cavities! =]

From the Feedback Form

Hi there

WOW I just found this site and think it great.

Found out about two months ago I HSV, basically a rash on my penis. Not to uncomfortable, but still I am horrified over this. I know I adjusting but . . .holy smokes!

Anyway, I am 43 and have been divorced for 6 years. I have had partners since then and have contacted most of them about them and everyone is of course shocked but thanks me for the honesty. None have called back to say they are positive.

My ex wife had HSV cold sores, but I never have had them. I remember her complaining that times during sex she would develop a rash that she treated with something but never admitted that it could be herpes.

The thought never came to mind. But that neither here nor there, just guess I need to find a support group, and also a clinic that can help me in the Seattle area.

Can you help me with that? My outbreak has been continuous for about two months now, comes and goes a bit but its still there. Help! :o)

From Angela aka Yoshi2me

Nobody should have to endure any sort of pain connected to herpes as far as I’m concerned. Have you thought about making an appointment to seeing your family doctor to see if he/she can help you get the pain under control?

I would give your doctor a call and let them know that the outbreak is not going away. Maybe they will have you come in so they can make sure that there isn’t something else going on in addition to herpes, ya know?

I’m not all that sure about what sort of local support groups are in your area off-hand but I can tell you that we have an online  herpes support group:

Shut Up N Post! STD Message Board

I hope you get it figured out and can get the outbreak under control.

Good Luck!

According to NOW online – Peter Andre, Jordan’s husband doesn’t kiss her when she has cold sores and admits that she gets them when she is working hard and feeling run down.

I wonder what Jordan takes in order to get through her cold sore spell. That’s probably a good idea not to kiss her on the mouth directly but I have to wonder if Peter Andre already has type-1 Herpes in his system and doesn’t know it. After all, it’s not really included in proper STD testing now, is it..

Isn’t she a gorgeous woman? Her husband is handsome but not as good looking as she is. I was reading on that site that I found that she’s talking about getting boob job #5. I don’t think she needs to get any  more boob jobs, do you? I think the twins look find just how they are and I’m sure Peter Andre would agree.