Sexual Health Buzz

Sometimes when people read my Herpes Biography they have more questions to ask about what’s going on with me today after all these years. I don’t mind answering these type of questions at all. In fact, I am compiling a list of Frequently Asked Personal Questions about my life and what’s it been like having herpes all these years.

1.) When you took Valtrex for two years and after had that one little outbreak did you or do you have anymore outbreaks?

Let’s see … I’ve had herpes 14 years now. I would say that I probably get an outbreak maybe once a year … if that?

2.) Did you shower when you had an outbreak like it didn’t exist?

The only thing I don’t do if I’m having an outbreak is scrub too hard in the shower. You know … you kinda have to take it easy when you are cleaning sensitive areas down there. I tend to use a wash rag pretty regularly so if I’m having an outbreak, I might choose to wash and soak in the bathtub instead.

To be honest, my outbreaks don’t last that long because I can usually tell when I’m about to have one. I pop a Valtrex as soon as possible and only have to take them for about 3 days.

I think you can pretty much bath however you want to with or without an outbreak. Obviously you’re going to want to take it easy on yourself so as not to irritate an already sensitive area. I hope that makes sense.

3.) Did you ever take a bath with your babies? And of course when you had no outbreaks?

Yep! I always took baths with my girls when they were babies. They are still small enough that sometimes they think it’s fun to bathe together. Sometimes we shower together too.

When I’m having an outbreak I don’t take a bath at the same time but even if I did and didn’t know I was having an outbreak … my kiddos would not contract herpes from me that way. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact through sex, oral sex, anal sex, kissing … some form of sexual contact AND only when the virus is present and active on the surface of the skin.

You are not going to contract herpes from a bathtub, toilet seat, or shower stall. That’s just not how it works AND the virus can not survive on surfaces for too long anyway. And you’re not going to contract herpes from a swimming pool either. It’s all good.

4.) When you had an outbreak and after you showered did you dry it with your towel and used it the next day?

I think what the answer to this question boils down to is whether or not you share towels with your friends and/or family members. That’s not a very good practice in terms of cleanliness. Each person should have and use their own towel, not because of herpes, but just because sharing towels just like sharing drinks is not a very good idea.

5.) When you had an outbreak did you clean your toilet and bathroom sink everyday?

No Way! lol :] You don’t have to clean your toilet seat and/or bathroom sink every single day because of herpes. That’s just not how transmission works so go easy on yourself with all that cleaning.

Here are more questions that I’ve answered over the years.

I would like to thank you for having the courage to be honest about living with HSV and HPV. I suffer from both, finding out the latter just today, and it makes me feel better just to read about someone, anyone struggling with the same emotions that with the diagnosis.

I have had HSV for over a year and have found that each day and each month it becomes less painful, and I am not even talking about the physical pain. Anyway, I can only hope that I will be able to take care of my HPV with as much dignity and grace I can find, which, again, brings me to thanking you, because I feel that in light of any STD, emotional support and understanding is the fastest way to healing. So thank you. – Caitlyn

I have oral herpes HSV-1 and my girlfriend has genital herpes HSV-2. If we have oral sex, but not genital sex, can I get genital herpes HSV-2?

A person may contract HSV-1, HSV-2, both OR nothing at all. Oral HSV-2 is really not all that common BUT it is possible to contract Oral HSV-2. You also have to remember that you already have antibodies to Oral HSV-1 so chances of that happening are slim…just not impossible.

Have you read my HSV-1 and HSV-2 page over on my site? You might want to give that a quick glance and see if that gives you another way to look at it.

If you have more questions be sure you pop in over on the Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board. It’s free and you can probably get your questions answered a lot faster.

Don’t forget to pick up the phone and call your doctor OR your doctor’s nurse if you are still having a hard time figuring all this out.

Dear Glaxo Smith Kline,

I’ve been meaning to give you some feedback for quite some time and a member that joined our group today has motivated me to take some time to contact you.

I feel, as one of the largest and most respected drug manufacturers, you have a tremendous opportunity to educate the public but you seem to be avoiding the topic in your advertisements. I am one of the moderators of a worldwide support group for those with HSV (herpes simplex virus) and we have seen a disturbing rise in members joining that have HSV1 genitally and contracted it from someone through oral sex when the person honestly believed that it was ‘just a cold sore’.

It would be so awesome if just one company (you?) would have the nerve to identify cold sores / fever blisters as being herpes especially since up to 80% of the population has it and it CAN be transmitted to someone’s genitals.

I just wanted to give you my feedback and, hopefully, you’re listening.
Thank you! – Jennifer

I believe GSK sent back some sort of automated response. So… we decided to go ahead and post this letter via the blog just in case someone high up would see it here. Thanks!

Here’s what other’s had to say about Valtrex Commercials

I am a mother struggling in coming to terms with how I’ve possibly infected my newborn with hsv. I can only assume I contracted this virus through unprotected sex during my youth. I am completely to blame.

A few years after I settled down and married I was diagnosed with this disease. I had never had an outbreak prior to that so had no idea I carried the disease. I had already given birth and my child was already 2 yrs old when I first discovered I was infected. Thankfully she was born healthy but it sends chills down my spine knowing I gave birth to her vaginally NOT knowing I had the virus.

It almost destroyed my marriage. After telling my husband he initially was frightened of the virus. He even went through a period where he refused to touch me, not even shake my hand. As if my self-esteem wasn’t already damaged enough by the virus itself my husband’s behavior only compounded the hurt and pain I felt inside. After he was tested and realized he was already infected there was little need for him to fear the virus anymore. He has never had an outbreak to this day. We have argued countless times whether the virus actually came from me or him as we both had unprotected sex during our youth, so who knows? What’s done is done, blaming doesn’t change things. Somehow we managed to salvage our marriage yet to this day it is not as happy as it once was.

Three years after this turmoil I happily fell pregnant again. I was assured by my OBGYN that I could safely give birth vaginally if I had no signs of an outbreak and if I also took a course of antivirals. So I diligently took the medicine during my eighth month of pregnancy and prayed to God my baby would be protected. I soon gave birth to a healthy baby but at 10 days old he developed a strange rash on his eyes. It first appeared as small bumps so I dismissed it as baby acne but by day three the so called bumps had spread and began to turn yellow although they never ulcerated.

Fearing my child had hsv I took him to the ER where he saw the on duty pediatrician. At first glance she said the rash was a yeast infection but I swallowed my pride hard and questioned her if it could be something more serious given that I had hsv 2. I hated admitting to a complete stranger that I had this virus. She then called in yet another pediatrician for a 2nd opinion who decided that based on the appearance of the rash and my medical history that it was indeed hsv.

My baby was then admitted to hospital and given antivirals for 10 days. The rash on my babies eyes dramatically cleared up within three days. Blood tests showed my baby tested positive for hsv 1 and negative for hsv 2 which both confused and relieved me at the same time. The pediatrician then began to explain that MAYBE the baby contracted the virus from someone who had a coldsore and not me after all. I had already told them that my other child aged five suffered from hsv 1 on her lips and had given the new baby a kiss on his face after his birth yet the pediatrician said it was most likely he contracted it from me during birth.

What to believe? My heart ached not knowing. So they performed yet another blood test to test again for hsv 2 stating that maybe the first test would not have picked up the antibodies of type 2 so quickly given the way in which the baby contracted the virus via delivery. However the reason, they assume, for the positive type 1 was that I passed on the antibodies for that type to my child during the pregnancy. I never knew I had hsv type 1 either as I have never had a cold sore in my life.

My mind boggles at what virus came from where and who is to blame. I have yet to return to the hospital for the second test results. I suppose it’s a moot point now. My baby has the virus regardless. I spent those 10 days in the hospital blaming and hating myself and hating the unfairness of it all.

Due to the 2nd hospital stay and general business with a new baby I have yet to re visit my OBGYN so I’m not sure what she would make of this but my mid-wife did say she was surprised that this happened given I had no outbreak and was on antivirals but reminded me that there was always that risk however low. How could I be so selfish? After all I KNEW this time in advance that I had the virus. I could have protected my second baby even more but I was terrified of surgery. So I will now spend the rest of my life regretting not giving birth via cesarean.

The hospital assured me that other than the rash, my baby had suffered no other damage yet how could they be certain I question to this day as no other tests were performed.

My now two month old baby is healthy and active but I live in constant fear that the virus will reappear and affect his health and life negatively. What will I tell him as he grows older? Will he hate me for it when he becomes old enough to really understand what this virus is? Will it take his eyesight? How will it affect his life? These thoughts bombard me constantly and have me riddled with a pain in my heart I have never known before.

***If possible I would like to hear from mothers who have experienced similar situations with neonatal hsv and how they and their children have coped.

Thank you kindly, M.

is it possible to get herpes type 2 from type 1?

No, HSV-1 doesn’t miraculously turn into HSV-2. A person can be properly tested for herpes to find out if they have HSV-1, HSV-2, both OR nothing at all.

i broke out on my face on and off since 2001. i was tested for genital herpes and was negative. i had blood work done recently and they diagnosed me with type 1 and 2 herpes. i have been with my husband for 9 years and he doesn’t have it, but i do. i didn’t have the type 2 prior to meeting my husband. i’m confused how i got type 2. any idea?

Just because you’ve broken out on your face doesn’t mean those sores are herpes. The only way to know for sure would be to have your doctor do a herpes culture on the sores to figure that out once and for all.

If you were diagnosed with HSV-1 and HSV-2 then statistically you probably have oral facial herpes type-1 and genital herpes type-2. If you have a history of cold sores and/or fever blisters then that would explain the oral herpes type-1.

If you have more questions be sure and ask them over on our Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board, k? Don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and talk to your doctor about this stuff too.

The right time to tell is anytime before you become intimate with them. Some believe that you should tell early so, if they do bolt, you haven’t invested very many emotions in them. Personally, I don’t think that sex should come up in the relationship until at least two months of dating so you can actually get to know each other. Sex really complicates things if you think about it. If it’s good, you overlook a lot of quirks that would normally be ‘deal breakers’ … if it’s ‘bad’, you’re not as likely to give a potentially great person a chance. Beyond all that, it is consistently awesome once there are real emotions involved.

There is a lot of information on Angela’s site about having The Talk and real experiences with it. Knowledge is power. Whatever you do, DO NOT attempt The Talk until you can answer ALL of their questions. The more calm (not crying, blaming, etc.) you are, the better received the information will be. As common as this is, you might be surprised to learn that they have it, too. Always insist on a blood test before becoming intimate because, as you may know already, up to 90% of those that have HSV2 don’t even know it and wouldn’t without a type-specific blood test. It’s NOT included in routine STD testing and, unfortunately, doctors don’t even tell you that they aren’t testing for it. It’s simply too common, too expensive and not life-threatening. You really don’t want to get into a situation where they actually have it but don’t have outbreaks then, once they experience their first, YOU are to blame even though you weren’t. Know what I mean?

Besides, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, AIDS and certain strains of HPV is clearly WORSE and you really don’t want it. What I did was limit my dating to people in the same club until I got my mojo back (lol) but I wouldn’t encourage anyone to stick to that type of thinking. YOU are worthy … just give yourself some time to realize that, okay?

I am a 49 year old male. I developed herpetic whitlow of the proximal phalanges of the left middle finger. There was no complications with bacterial super infection.

I had slightly pricked the side of my middle finger with a staple and the wound seemed to be healed over. A day or two later my partner and I had sexual relations during which I used my fingers for stimulation of my partner. She had developed a primary case of HSV2 in the perineum some 18 years ago. She had no current signs and has not developed any. Her last outbreak was almost 10 years ago.

The staple wound seemed to resolve, leaving behind only a tiny area of cellulitis. About 6 days later, the wound developed a larger area of redness, and I cleaned it with soap and water, applied some antibiotic cream, and covered it with a band aid. The following day when I changed the bandaid the redness had spread distally in a narrow band.

By that evening the typical vesicles began to develop. I was aware of herpetic whitlow and recognized the signs. I applied Abreva and changed it and the bandaid three times a day. I did not apply it more often due to the fragility of the vesicles.

After two days the infection covered the area on the phalanx from knuckle to knuckle and approximately 1/3 of the diameter of the finger, but did not seem to spreading beyond this point. I continued to apply Abreva and clean the area three times per day, carefully cleaning my hands after each dressing change. I also wore a cotton glove between dressing changes.

By the fourth day, the lesion was red and taut, but no longer particularly painful. There was an area of open skin about 15mm x 4mm. Primary drainage had ceased. Applications of hydrogen peroxide did not show any significant super infection. However, the area covered by the lesion and cellulitis had not changed.

At that time I visited my primary care physician. He confirmed the diagnosis and prescribed topical acyclovir. He also pointed out that Abreva is useful only against HSV1 infections and this was almost certainly HSV2, therefore it would have been advisable to seek medical attention earlier. The area began to scab over about a week later, but remained red and taut for another week.

After about 3.5 weeks the scab had detached and the lesion was smooth, although still quite red for a radius about about double the size of the lesion proper. After 5 weeks the redness has faded considerably, though not completely. I continue to cover it with a bandaid and will probably continue to do so until the skin returns to a normal color. I intend to avoid contact with any mucous membrane or my genitalia for at least two to three weeks subsequent to complete visual resolution.

I experienced some malaise, fatigue, and nausea the day previous to emergence of the lesion, and for two days thereafter. The lesion was not extremely painful, probably due to the location on the proximal phalanx, instead of the common location at the distal phalanx, where it can irritate the pulp underlying the fingernail.

The primary difficulties of management were the regular and somewhat risky dressing changes, and the concern about when I could resume free use of the digit with near-zero risk.

I would recommend that anyone developing identifiable symptoms seek medical treatment immediately so as to acquire topical acyclovir as soon as possible.

Read more true stories here

HI Yoshi2me,

I just wanted to say that I think you have provided an INCREDIBLE website…one that is full of hope.

I was just diagnosed with HSV-2 today and am still numb by the conversation with my doctor. I have a boyfriend of 5 years whom I will be telling tomorrow evening about my discovery.

Your website has given me a new found strength for tomorrow’s mission. And I pray to God that he is accepting and understanding and supportive and doesn’t walk away.

You are a true inspiration and so I thank you for your candid honesty. Thank you, thank you for hope.

Sincerely, E

I can’t say “thank-you” enough for your website. I have read a lot about herpes and most of it is written in medical terms. Its great to hear someone’s personal story.

A little over a year ago I had my first Herpes outbreak and needless to say I freaked out! I had been with my boyfriend, now fiance, for 4 months and words could not express my anger/regret at what had happened to me.

He was shocked and told me he had never had an outbreak on his genitals of any kind. I cried and cried and he did his best to console me. Once the results came back the doctor told me that the outbreaks were due to HSV 1 and that I had contracted it from having had oral sex. Bummer.

I was stressed and depressed and had another outbreak about 2 months later. And then in August of 2008 I became pregnant. We were both so happy and my outbreaks stopped all together.

I was outbreak free for 6 1/2 months and then had another outbreak in January of this year. I was getting used to not having any. Right now I am 34 weeks pregnant and will begin suppressive therapy in week 36.

I have faith in the good lord that he will protect my child and myself and that everything will go well during the birth and afterward. Its been a year since my first outbreak and I pray everyday that one day Herpes wont be on my mind constantly.

This personal story was sent in my Rebecca with the hope that it would help somebody out there cope. Thank you so much Rebecca!

Read more about herpes and pregnancy

Pregnant and Worried about STDS? – Come chat w/us!