Sexual Health Buzz

My name is Bek, I’m 16 and I have Genital Herpes. I lost my virginity at the age of 15, becoming sexually active is meant to a big journey in one’s life, some girls don’t become sexual active until after marriage, which I reckon is pretty awesome. I always wanted to wait until I was either married or in a serious relationship except I was unsure because I had never had a boyfriend before. I was ugly as a young girl; I was always the girl that the boys made fun of. Well because of that from year seven onwards I became aware of the appearance, I started to dye my hair, wearing tons of make up, eating healthy and exercising.

I’m currently in year ten; I have heaps of lovely and caring friends but only my closest friends are aware of that I have genital herpes. Losing my virginity was a life changing experience and a half. To fully understand the importance of the love that your friends have for you, you need to experience something that is unexpected and unwanted.

I was raised in a single mum household, my mum is tight when it comes to guys, and she has never said that I can not have a boyfriend but she gets weird when I mention anything about my friends that are guys. So guys and sex talk in my household does not happen. His name was Brad; his family’s holiday place is next to my family’s holiday place. It was the Christmas holidays 2008-2009, Brad was 20 and ok I recognize he was not the best looking guy in the world, but he was the first guy to look at me as a girl and not one of the boys. We became friends with benefits, then a few days after he asked me out. Brad was the first guy to ever say those words “will you go out with me”; he made me feel special and a guy who actually liked me.

Before Brad’s and my relationship became sexual, I was a virgin, never been fingered, given or received oral sex actually never had seen a real penis. It was a learning experience. I’m one of them exercise freaks, I wont have a good day unless I get at less one hour worth of exercise a day. Well ten months ago this was still the case; I would get up at 5 am and go for a jog along the beach which I have done for years, while me and Brad were together he would come with me. My jogs are the only times that I am alone from my sisters and mum. We would jog to make out couch which was an old couch which was dumped on a headland; it was so beautiful the outlook over the ocean.

Being a virgin meant new experience, the first time I performed oral sex on brad I throw up all over him, he told me it was normal not to enjoy performing oral sex for the first time. It is just it tasted and smelt so terrible. Brad was a lot older than me (five years) and he had been sexually active for years before me.

On the 26th January 2009 (Australian Day) at 5.30am Brad and I had sex after 5 days of going out with him. I didn’t really enjoy it, it kind of hurt, and it was not what I expected, and I thought it would be like what it is like on TV like screaming orgasms. While we were having sex he kept asking me “Bek are you sure you wanna do this?” “Do you want me to stop?” I thought he was being caring and loving but the reality was he was just trying to make sure that I was conceding to having sex with him. A few days previous he had told me about his last girlfriend she was the same age as me, the reason for them breaking up was because she got pregnant and her parents found out she was sleeping with a 20 year old, she was scared to face up to what she had done so she cried rape.

It was understandable why brad made me say any times had with him I was conceding to the sexual activities. But I wonder did he rape, this guy I barely know, and what I did know he displayed this kind of faulty play dishonest nature and a pushy feeling, looking back on this event I believe brad has it in him to forces a girl to perform sexual activities, well he did pressured and pressured into the sexual activities until I had gave in.

Anyways after we had sex, we got dressed, and as he pulled out his little note book as he said “thanks for the root”, I gave him a funny look along with a fake smile and said “what you doing”, as he reply my gut felt to ground as he said “just marking off another tally” that little note book was his tallies of how many girls he had rooted, he gives a rating out of 10 and a smiley face if he would re-root them or a sad face if he would not. I ask him if all I was another mark on his tally, he said “of course not I love you Bek”. Yeah for same reason I didn’t believe him.

Two weeks later I realize that something was wrong, my vagina was really itchy, and then the painful blisters came. I could not do any thing I was in so much pain. I had heard that some girls have an allergic reaction from the natural rubber latex and at first I thought that was what was wrong, I told me best friend that something was wrong, we started to look through a book called “Girl stuff – your full on guide to the teen years” by Kaz Cooke. In the STIs section as we read over every single type of sexually transmitted infections as soon as I started to read the info about Genital Herpes I knew it had it.

The day after I rang Brad, he claimed that I already had the virus and that I have passed it on to him. I know for a fact I didn’t have it before because I had never been sexually active before him. Then he did admit that yes he DID have herpes umm shows his inelegance level because herpes can not be cure nor is there a vaccine to prevent the virus. I went to the doctors and he conform that brad had infected me with herpes.

It has been ten months since I had caught the virus. I still have not have had another boyfriend but that is by choice I feel I have not found the right guy yet. But I have had sex with other guys but I always make sure it is safe and that they have been tested for any STIs. (see note below) The last ten months have been hell, the 26th of each month is torture I break down and seriously feel like I will be nothing but the girl with herpes. People have asked me if I could take it back would I? Truthfully I would not want to take back this big mistake that is because I have grown up so much; I believe that I will able to encourage other girls to love themselves and never do something that they do not want to do.

I use sex to make me feel better about myself, I still don’t enjoy sex, it feels good but I have not found that special guy who will make sex amazing. I believe sex is a personal choice; some girls may want to experience losing their virginity earlier than others. I have a low sense of self I use sex to make my self-esteem elevated. Every guy had I have had sex with I have regretted.

I do not tell people that I have the virus ‘Genital Herpes’. (see note below) At first when I first got infected with this STI, I thought it was no big deal I will go the doctors get the tablets and everything would be fixed. Well herpes is not easily fixed; herpes is a virus that if you catch you carry it with you for the rest of your life. I am one of those girls who can’t wait to be a mum. And having genital herpes I can not give birth naturally, so when I am older and i am pregnant I have to tell my doctor that I have herpes to avoid passing the virus on to my baby.

The mistakes that I have made I am going to carry with me for the rest of my life. I hope I will found that special guy who will love me even though I have a sexually transmitted virus. Herpes is very, very common, one in eight people have the virus and one in seven girls have it. So any body that does have any STIs should not be ashamed. I was ashamed, I thought because I have a STI I am a slut, but the truth is that anybody can catch a STI, I was unlucky and caught Herpes my first time. Do not make the same mistake, make sure you are safe and do not get pressured into having sex.

Hi. This story was sent in by a gal from Australia that wanted me to share her story with you. If you  have a story that you would like me to share you are welcome to contact me.

I just wanted to let those reading know that if you have genital herpes you can still have a healthy baby without having a C-section. Having herpes doesn’t automatically mean you will have to have a C-section. You can have a vaginal delivery and the baby can be safe. You just have to know your status and talk to your doctor about it by the time you find out that you are pregnant. Thanks!

I just wanted to add to this post that it is NOT ok to have sex w/somebody w/out telling them that you have the virus. You do have a moral obligation to sit down with them and have a talk about what it is that you have BEFORE you  have sex. Condoms are NOT 100% effective at preventing STDS. They have a right to listen to what you have to say. Be prepared to answer questions if they have any and remember it’s not just about YOUR situation. You should insist that they be tested too. In the end it’s either going to work itself out relationally or not. Remember, having herpes does not define who you are and it’s not the end of your sex life. Always be honest with your partners!

Can you give your partner herpes by french kissing?

Yes and No.

Yes, it is possible to give your partner herpes by french kissing if you have oral herpes.

No, it is not possible to give your partner herpes by french kissing if you do not have oral herpes.

If you have a history of cold sores or fever blisters then it’s probably very likely that you have oral herpes. If you’re not sure then you should see your doctor for proper herpes testing.

A girl’s attempt to gain U.S. citizenship may be derailed by refusal to have the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine. Simone Davis, a 17-year-old girl born in Britain, seeks to become a U.S. citizen but is confronted by immigration laws mandating that she receive the HPV vaccine that protects against the sexually transmitted human papillomavirus commonly attributed to cervical cancer.

This vaccine requirement stems from the 1996 Immigration and Nationality Act, which mandates that prior to being granted permanent resident status, immigrants must receive all vaccines recommended by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP). In 2008, however, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) updated the list of vaccines required of immigrants to include HPV, a move criticized by a number of advocacy groups who say the mandate places undue burden on those seeking to enter the U.S., and in particular, to women and girls.

Some organizations and advocate groups that focus on immigrant rights and women’s health have questioned the necessity of forcing individuals to receive the vaccine considering that HPV isn’t communicable in public settings. Of the 14 required vaccines, 13 of which aim to prevent infectious diseases considered highly contagious, Gardasil alone targets a sexually transmissible virus. Another worry is that cost may pose unfair financial burden placed on women, possibly acting as a significant financial barrier to seeking citizenship (the vaccine costs $360, plus clinic fees).

Simone protests the HPV vaccine for several reasons; her story reported by abcnews.com. As a devout Christian, Simone has taken a virginity pledge and doesn’t understand she why she should be required to take the vaccine when she doesn’t believe herself to be at risk. Her guardian and paternal grandmother, whom Simone calls “Nanny,” was also upset by this mandate and filed a waiver to the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services on moral and religious grounds but was rejected. Now facing the possibility of being separated from her Nanny, with only 30 days to appeal the decision before she must reapply as an adult (which requires a five year wait to become eligible for citizenship), Simone questions why none of her American classmates were required to take the HPV vaccine. Simone’s Nanny claims the issue is not simply about religion, and instead highlights their desire to have the same rights of any U.S. citizen.

Deborah Arrindell, ASHA’s vice-president of health policy, says “This vaccine has enormous potential to protect women’s health, no one’s debating that. What’s troubling is the requirement extends only to immigrants, and doesn’t apply to U.S. citizens. One has to question just how much public health is advanced by requiring the vaccine for a such a narrow segment of the population.” Jon Abramson, chairman of the CDC’s Advisory Committee for Immunization Practices when the body recommended the vaccine for U.S. citizens last year, further purports that this policy is “not a good idea.”

There are some indications, however, that the HPV vaccine requirement may be reconsidered. Within the month CDC is expected to release new criteria to determine which vaccines should be mandated for U.S. immigrants. Whether this new criteria will affect Simone Davis’ situation, or the lives of other female immigrants, has yet to seen.

HPV and Cervical Cancer Prevention, HPV Vaccines

More HPV Information

You can also talk about HPV here

A new, large-scale clinical trial is examining whether antiretroviral medications normally used to treat HIV infection can also prevent HIV infection in women when applied as a vaginal gel or taken as oral tablets once daily.

The study, called Vaginal and Oral Interventions to Control the Epidemic (VOICE) or MTN-003, will involve up to 5,000 HIV-uninfected women at risk for HIV infection in four African countries. The trial will test the safety and efficacy of two different HIV prevention strategies: an investigational microbicide gel containing the antiretroviral drug tenofovir, and oral tablets containing tenofovir or a combination of tenofovir and emtricitabine known by the brand name Truvada. The tablets would be taken prior to exposure in an approach known as pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP. Testing a microbicide and PrEP in the same trial will enable scientists to directly compare the two strategies in terms of their safety and acceptability.

The premise behind PrEP is that taking an antiretroviral drug before exposure to HIV could potentially inhibit HIV replication immediately after exposure to the virus, thwarting permanent infection. This strategy is used globally to successfully prevent the transmission of HIV from mother to infant.

Notably, the VOICE study is the first efficacy study of an investigational microbicide in which participants apply the gel once daily rather than shortly before sexual intercourse.

For more information – HIV Information – Talk About HIV

NIAID News gave me permission to share this information with you. I want all of my readers to know what is going on with HIV. Thanks so much for reading my blog.

Hi! I came across your website looking up the proper information for my boyfriend on herpes since I have it and he doesn’t.

I wanted to let you know I think what you are doing is great! I also wanted to let you know in reference to oral sex women can buy dental dams (they are latex or latex free sheets that almost act like a condom so a man can “go down” on you without having to worry about contracting your herpes!) I buy mind on the website undercovercondoms.com and they come flavored and unflavored!

I am finally in a relationship where I’m being 100% honest with my partner about everything and we are protecting him! In the past the men I have told haven’t really taken it seriously and have decided to not protect themselves. And it took me a long time to tell people, I was scared of the judgment I would receive and the wrong person knowing and telling everyone! So I didn’t tell some people either and now look back on it and feel soooooo bad about it! I will make sure not to make that mistake again!

But….. I just wanted to say from a woman who has had herpes for 11 years I appreciate all that you are doing! I know how it feels to be lost and scared and “not beautiful” because of this disease and I hope they do perfect that vaccine!!

All the best!

~Anonymous

More Inspirational Stories

Sometimes when people read my Herpes Biography they have more questions to ask about what’s going on with me today after all these years. I don’t mind answering these type of questions at all. In fact, I am compiling a list of Frequently Asked Personal Questions about my life and what’s it been like having herpes all these years.

1.) When you took Valtrex for two years and after had that one little outbreak did you or do you have anymore outbreaks?

Let’s see … I’ve had herpes 14 years now. I would say that I probably get an outbreak maybe once a year … if that?

2.) Did you shower when you had an outbreak like it didn’t exist?

The only thing I don’t do if I’m having an outbreak is scrub too hard in the shower. You know … you kinda have to take it easy when you are cleaning sensitive areas down there. I tend to use a wash rag pretty regularly so if I’m having an outbreak, I might choose to wash and soak in the bathtub instead.

To be honest, my outbreaks don’t last that long because I can usually tell when I’m about to have one. I pop a Valtrex as soon as possible and only have to take them for about 3 days.

I think you can pretty much bath however you want to with or without an outbreak. Obviously you’re going to want to take it easy on yourself so as not to irritate an already sensitive area. I hope that makes sense.

3.) Did you ever take a bath with your babies? And of course when you had no outbreaks?

Yep! I always took baths with my girls when they were babies. They are still small enough that sometimes they think it’s fun to bathe together. Sometimes we shower together too.

When I’m having an outbreak I don’t take a bath at the same time but even if I did and didn’t know I was having an outbreak … my kiddos would not contract herpes from me that way. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact through sex, oral sex, anal sex, kissing … some form of sexual contact AND only when the virus is present and active on the surface of the skin.

You are not going to contract herpes from a bathtub, toilet seat, or shower stall. That’s just not how it works AND the virus can not survive on surfaces for too long anyway. And you’re not going to contract herpes from a swimming pool either. It’s all good.

4.) When you had an outbreak and after you showered did you dry it with your towel and used it the next day?

I think what the answer to this question boils down to is whether or not you share towels with your friends and/or family members. That’s not a very good practice in terms of cleanliness. Each person should have and use their own towel, not because of herpes, but just because sharing towels just like sharing drinks is not a very good idea.

5.) When you had an outbreak did you clean your toilet and bathroom sink everyday?

No Way! lol :] You don’t have to clean your toilet seat and/or bathroom sink every single day because of herpes. That’s just not how transmission works so go easy on yourself with all that cleaning.

Here are more questions that I’ve answered over the years.

I have oral herpes HSV-1 and my girlfriend has genital herpes HSV-2. If we have oral sex, but not genital sex, can I get genital herpes HSV-2?

A person may contract HSV-1, HSV-2, both OR nothing at all. Oral HSV-2 is really not all that common BUT it is possible to contract Oral HSV-2. You also have to remember that you already have antibodies to Oral HSV-1 so chances of that happening are slim…just not impossible.

Have you read my HSV-1 and HSV-2 page over on my site? You might want to give that a quick glance and see if that gives you another way to look at it.

If you have more questions be sure you pop in over on the Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board. It’s free and you can probably get your questions answered a lot faster.

Don’t forget to pick up the phone and call your doctor OR your doctor’s nurse if you are still having a hard time figuring all this out.

Dear Glaxo Smith Kline,

I’ve been meaning to give you some feedback for quite some time and a member that joined our group today has motivated me to take some time to contact you.

I feel, as one of the largest and most respected drug manufacturers, you have a tremendous opportunity to educate the public but you seem to be avoiding the topic in your advertisements. I am one of the moderators of a worldwide support group for those with HSV (herpes simplex virus) and we have seen a disturbing rise in members joining that have HSV1 genitally and contracted it from someone through oral sex when the person honestly believed that it was ‘just a cold sore’.

It would be so awesome if just one company (you?) would have the nerve to identify cold sores / fever blisters as being herpes especially since up to 80% of the population has it and it CAN be transmitted to someone’s genitals.

I just wanted to give you my feedback and, hopefully, you’re listening.
Thank you! – Jennifer

I believe GSK sent back some sort of automated response. So… we decided to go ahead and post this letter via the blog just in case someone high up would see it here. Thanks!

Here’s what other’s had to say about Valtrex Commercials

is it possible to get herpes type 2 from type 1?

No, HSV-1 doesn’t miraculously turn into HSV-2. A person can be properly tested for herpes to find out if they have HSV-1, HSV-2, both OR nothing at all.

i broke out on my face on and off since 2001. i was tested for genital herpes and was negative. i had blood work done recently and they diagnosed me with type 1 and 2 herpes. i have been with my husband for 9 years and he doesn’t have it, but i do. i didn’t have the type 2 prior to meeting my husband. i’m confused how i got type 2. any idea?

Just because you’ve broken out on your face doesn’t mean those sores are herpes. The only way to know for sure would be to have your doctor do a herpes culture on the sores to figure that out once and for all.

If you were diagnosed with HSV-1 and HSV-2 then statistically you probably have oral facial herpes type-1 and genital herpes type-2. If you have a history of cold sores and/or fever blisters then that would explain the oral herpes type-1.

If you have more questions be sure and ask them over on our Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board, k? Don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and talk to your doctor about this stuff too.

Hi

I don’t even know who im writing this to…

My name is Kxxxxx and im 26 yrs old. I was just told by my doctor that I have herpes type 2. Im scared. I dont know who to talk to, Ive told my best friend and thats it. I dont know how to tell my mom. I dont have a boyfriend so thats good. But theres a part of me thats even scared to date, I dont know how to react. can I ask you some questions…

1. can i spread Herpes within my wn body with the use of a vibrator or masterbate?

Once you contract the herpes virus you keep it for good. Also…once those herpes antibodies have developed…you are not likely going to pass herpes to other parts of your body. However, I would not share vibrators with other people, etc…if you know what I mean.

2. can i spread Herpes to my partner when NOT having an outbreak? (kissing, holding hands, touching…)

It’s possible to pass herpes even if there are no signs or symptoms present through something called asymptomatic shedding. But even under those circumstances the virus has to be active and on the surface of the skin and the environment has to be just right. Usually herpes is passed when the virus is active on the surface of the skin through kissing, oral sex, anal sex or just genital to genital regular sex.

3. Can i have kids? will I pass this on to them?

Of course you can have kids! Since you are already aware of your status then so will your doctor be aware as well. You’ll be able to prevent your baby from contracting it from you. It’s the pregnant Mom’s that don’t know they have herpes OR their partner’s status for that matter. This is another reason why herpes testing is so important for screening as well as knowing the status of your partner.

4. since my infected area is on my left hip. Will it ever go into my genitals?

Well….just because you have outbreaks on your left hip doesn’t meant that you don’t have genital herpes. People that have genital herpes tend to have outbreaks anywhere below the belt line. The virus sleeps in the ganglia at the base of the spine and when it awakens and travels the nerve pathways to the surface can essentially show up anywhere below the belt line but usually in the boxer shorts area. Yours just happen to be in the hip area. But then again….how do you know if what you have in your hip area is actually herpes? Did you ever have a culture done of a sore that appeared? What did your doctor tell you?

5. Will I ever be able to have unprotected sex with a long term partner? husband?

Of course you will! Why would you think otherwise? Life goes forward even after a herpes diagnosis. You can live a full and complete life with a partner who is totally devoted to YOU, herpes or not.

Im not sure if you can help me… I just dont know who to ask.

pls help me… thank you …

I appreciate you writing to me and asking the questions. Thanks for allowing me to answer your questions on my blog so that we can help others out there that might have the same questions.

If you have more questions be sure and check out our Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board, k?