Sexual Health Buzz

If you joined this group OR this group because you are interested in the subject matter and you were hoping to promote other Groups, Sites, Events, Products OR People we would appreciate it if you would get approval from the Moderators first. You can contact our Moderating Team by using the e-mail address at the bottom of this group’s home page.

If you attempt to post anything about other Groups, Sites, Events, Products OR People without contacting the Moderating team first, this may result in having your membership removed permanently.

We take pride in the fact that people are able to get support and meet others in similar situations. With that said … our group will not be used as a stomping ground to advance your agenda nor will it be used to Spam your merchandise.

Furthermore, if the moderators agree that what you have to share with the group members is of interest and benefits the subject matter of the group … we will not and can not insure that anything you share will remain private. Nothing about the internet is private therefore; you will need to use good judgment and common sense when sharing information.

Sincerely,

The Moderators

I sent this note to everybody in my address book so 1.) I can say hello and 2.) I can see who’s e-mail addresses still work. I’m also posting it on my blog so those that are following it can stop by and say hello. I’d love to hear from you and find out where you are reading this blog from. Is it helpful to you?

I know I haven’t been around much lately. I’ve been pretty busy getting the 17 year old off to college, the 5 year old off to kindergarten, and the 3 year old still stays home w/me. We are super busy these days between swimming lessons, bible study, awana, working out at the gym, and still trying to keep up w/everything — it’s any wonder I make it through all the e-mails OR all the projects that need tackling on a daily basis. But … that’s life. You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. You just take things one day at a time, one moment at a time, one hour at a time, and you do what you can when you can get it done. Right?

I have a confession to make. I have been playing that scrabble game on Facebook called Lexulous. It’s pretty fun. What’s neat about that game is you don’t have to sit and finish out the game. You can log on, make your move, and then go about your business. You can also have more than one game going so that you can make your move on several games and then go about your business. It’s just been nice to take a break from the usual and have some fun. Even if that fun is just for five minutes in between everything else going on.

Ok … so I have been behind on getting my site updates out and for that I do apologize. Two days ago I did manage to get a few things tackled. Here’s what I completed:

1.) People have had some really cool things to say about me and the site which is nice. It’s nice to get encouragement, ya know? So thank you for that! :-)

2.) Do me a favor and make sure I’ve got your social group listed, k? There are a few newbies on the page and some national events to check out. Let me know if you’d like me to add one of your social outings. I’m happy to do that for you.

3.) Would you believe the last time I posted something on the blog was September 1st? And before that August 28th? I promise I am not slipping. I was able to get a couple of new posts up tonight. I think you’ll be able to appreciate them.. at least I hope so.

The Bathroom And Herpes
You Are Beautiful Inside And Out
Personal herpes questions asked & answered

4.) Are you guys ready for the fall? I love this time of the year. The only thing I could really do w/out is the high pollen count. Oh yeah.. one more thing. Picking Up the Pieces will be celebrating it’s 11th birthday. I hope you will stop by and say hi. We are 11 years old on October 1st. That’s just around the corner.

Ok… I’ll be checking the rest of my e-mail tomorrow and will get the rest of the stuff added here and there soon. I’ll probably send out another update when I finish just like this one.

Happy Fall Y’all,

Angela ;-)

Twitter: @Yoshi2me
Herpes Help
Message Board

Feel free to share this note with friends that share in our common bond. [[hugs!]]

When we aren’t on Picking Up the Pieces you can find us here:
— We have a pretty cool VIP room going. So far 30+ people have shared their photos. It’s been wonderful being able to put a face with a name. What’s nice about this forum is the only way to get in is to share your photo. Once your photo is posted, you get added to the VIP room. If you decide to take your photos down at any time, we remove the photos upon request, and then we take you off the VIP list. Pretty Cool, eh? Let me know what you think! :]

WOW – I guess I had a lot to say. ;-)

Dear Angela,

Just shy because of this condition, Herpes Type 2. I leave your herpes biography on my computer everyday for when I come home I can read it again because it makes me feel so much more of a person.

I spent hours on the computer wanting to know more about this condition and everything I’ve seen couldn’t stop my tears but YOU! There’s nothing like it, having the support from people more so YOU! with the same problem.

Angela, lately I have been having trouble with myself as in thinking of harming myself but I came across you and I want to thank you so so so much there for not feeling so alone.

Sadly there are no groups here in my city for us to talk to face to face with people with similar conditions but I’m trying. For now Angela I need you and I have questions, simple questions to ask you if you dont mind?

Thanks again for you time… you have no idea what an impact you are to me….

~ Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I will do my best to answer any questions that you might have so feel free to write me any time day or night.

Before I get to your questions I just wanted to let you know that I have a listing of Support Groups, Social Groups, and even Social Events that are planned for the year over on my main site: Yoshi2me.com aka: Herpes Help – I hope that is going to be helpful for you.

Here’s more information About Herpes too. :]

There are also two online support groups you might want to check out: Picking Up the Pieces as well as our Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board. I’m almost positive you will feel better about everything once you’ve created an alias with which to post and start communicating with other people.

Be sure and pick an alias and e-mail address that nobody knows about so that you can have some sort of anonymity. Whatever you do, it’s better not to use a work e-mail addresses as sometimes those are monitored.

Ok… so I will do my best to answer your questions and if any of you out there have questions for me you are welcome to write to me too from here. I will post your question here on my blog and answer your question within the same post. Don’t worry, I will tweak your questions and make sure to take out any personal identifiable information. Everything that gets posted does so anonymously and this way we can kill two birds with one stone and help others find the answers that they are looking for without giving away who you are.

Lastly, you are the wonderful human being that God created. Having herpes doesn’t define who you are. You are beautiful inside and out and life is always worth living – ALWAYS. You are never alone and only an e-mail or posting away. [[[hugs]]]

Over on Life After Herpes

SeekingAsianMan wrote in with a subject line that stated the following:

Trying to find an Asian or Native American male with H is hard

SeekingAsianMan had this to say:

I’m single 23 mature and living in northern california.

I responded with this bit of advice:

You know this isn’t a dating site, right? Here’s a list of herpes dating sites as well as regular every day dating sites:

http://yoshi2me.com/herpes-dating.html

Some are free and others… not so much.

Good luck with your search.

Numb Nuts (SeekingAsianMan) had the nerve to write me back with the following:

Guess I’m done then. Those sites have hardly anyone on them. U have been on them all. Suicide is my best bet.

You know what SeekingAsianMan?

I feel sorry for you. You have resorted to scrounging around for a man on a yahoo group that was geared for support NOT online dating. Are you THAT desperate that you’ve created a screen name called “Seeking Asian Man” OR is that the best you can do?

Why don’t you stop begging to be in a relationship and concentrate on the parts of life that will get you out of your particular frame of mind? I am not on all the yahoo groups.

The only yahoo groups I am on are the following: Picking Up the Pieces, South Florida H Friends, Life After H, and Oklahoma H Club. None of which are online dating sites.

Perhaps if you got your head out of your ass and stopped being so rude you might find a date, or two, or three. And since you seem to have all the answers stop writing to people like me who don’t really have the time to spend on people like you.

Our discussions are so heavy on PUP I thought I’d share some lighter fare associated with a girl I took to Jamaica after knowing her for only two weeks.

We share a strong mutual attraction, but decided to wait before having sex. Wheew! I can relax about having “the talk” during our vacation.

Day one was filled with rum punch, long talks and nude walks on the beach. That night our passion tested us, but success! we made it to the morning without doing it.

On day two experiences as routine as a conversation over breakfast revealed connections with the excitement of finally using those discarded puzzle pieces from previous relationships. The sun went down on day two, but we brought its heat to the bedroom. OMG! She cradled my face with her hands and said “I’m ready”, but I refused. Again success! we are 2 for 2.

The next morning we awoke looking silently into each others eyes and my inner voice kept urging me relentlessly. Tell her, tell her, now is the time, tell her! I succumbed and at the risk of ruining a beautiful moment (not to mention a $3K vacation) I committed.

“There’s something very important that only three people know about me and we have to talk about it before we have sex”.

“I have to go to the bathroom”, she said immediately. She returned and laid next to me. ?Did I miss the toilet flushing?

Her face was strangely relaxed. Still nervous I blurted, “I have Herpes“.

“Me too”.

Stunned I said, “I have to go to the bathroom”. I stared in the mirror at myself, grabbed my toothbrush and brushed my teeth talking to myself out loud in disbelief. “I memorized my facts and figures, and rehearsed my story so what the hell kinda answer is that!” Then I realized that my inner voice was forcing us to reveal yet another connection. Two more pieces fall together.

Fear hit me and I freaked out.

I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. I opened the bathroom door stating, “You’re early!”, like I could pop her back in the oven `til I was ready for her. “Honey, come and let’s finish our talk”, she said softly. Then she said something only us “PUPies” could understand, “I was hoping that you had Herpes“.

Oh how I cherish life’s irony.

Don’t leave your soulmate out there alone because you have Herpes that’s just fucked up. Happy searching yall. -Anonymous

Read more Telling Stories
Read more True Inspirational Stories

Okay, let’s put this drama to rest. No, it’s not a rude way to ask such a personal question. There was no inflection of an attitude when I asked that question. How she answered it (yes or no) would determine how I would respond to her post. There is a member on this site that WAS raped and consequently received The Gift at a very young age so SHE clearly didn’t sign up to have herpes but I have a feeling that that isn’t the case with this particular member. Does it make me angry at the American way of blatantly NOT taking responsibility of their own actions? Yes! Am I firm believer that YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN FATE? Yes, and yes I was yelling. “Acceptance” is the first step in healing but most of what I hear is that people don’t even want to accept their own role in contracting this virus. As a moderator, I feel like I have to be touchy-feely all the time but sometimes (just like Angela) I get ANGRY listening to the whiners that have no intention of taking our advice because they are too busy feeling sorry for themselves. “My dating life is over” … pfffft! Is that all you are??? A walking piece of flesh that’s only good for sex??? Do you plan on jumping into bed with EVERY person you go on a date with??? C’mon, people … raise your standards!

Yanno, when I was diagnosed with this at the age of 20, I stayed with the man that I was with at the time that may or may not have given this to me (if he had it first, he was asymptomatic). I went through all of the stages of grief including (and especially) anger. Eventually, I married him then he died in 2002. It was like being diagnosed ALL OVER AGAIN. I thought NO ONE would want me and I thought that the worst thing about herpes was that it wasn’t AIDS and it wouldn’t kill me and I would have to live with this for the rest of my life. I looked at myself, in essence, as a leper. I felt everything that all of you are feeling now TWICE. Through an unrelated support network, I came to realize that that is “stinkin’ thinkin’”, it was stupid and it wasn’t benefiting me at all. I am STILL beautiful, intelligent, witty, loyal … ALL of the things that I was before and, if you ask me (and even most men), I’m still better than most of the competition out there because I took the necessary time to learn who I am without a significant other. I don’t NEED a man to define who I am and I look at most of them as not being worthy of The Talk.

The problem with this virus is that it seems to be drawn to people that had poor self-confidence before and this is enough to send them over the edge. If you didn’t love who you were before your diagnosis, then take the time to make it happen now. What exactly is so terrible about not being in a relationship or dating anyone? I don’t get that but, then again, I was a totally different person when I was in my 20s and I wouldn’t go back to that period for all the money in the world.

Yes, we refer to this as a ’skin condition’ or as ‘not a big deal’ and someday (if you try), you’ll get there, too. I’m sure that we are all sorry that this obviously offends some of you but I’m not trading my attitude for the one you have. And you will NEVER find me doing something so irresponsible as having sex even once (for some of you, MORE than once) without disclosing my status. If you can’t hold your liquor, you may want to give it up because what you’re doing is not fair and it’s not moral.

Just my two cents worth,
Jennifer

Along with the list of things you are going to do to turn your life around I made a list of things I AM going to do to turn my life around.

I asked my friends, those who know I have herpes and those I’ve just met, to describe me in one word.

With the list of adjectives and some window markers I wrote these kind words on my bathroom mirror to help me remember I am not disgusting, I am not untouchable, etc.

I didn’t think it would really help much, but its good to see that even with herpes I am everything I was before and much much more.

I am Beautiful
I am Compassionate
I am Kind
I am Resilient

It sucks, don’t get me wrong, but don’t let it rule your life.
Mourn the loss of your past and embrace the prospect of your future.

Posted by a caring soul on Picking Up the Pieces.
Read more inspirational messages on our True Stories pages.

I was diagnosed with Herpes about 14 years ago. I have allowed it to limit and control me for most of that time. In many ways it has helped me to not get involved with people who did not deserve my energy. But in many other ways it has stopped me from living my life.

On November 4, 2008 I was diagnosed with Invasive Breast Cancer, Stage II. I’ve had a modified radical mastectomy, and just last week finished chemo. My current journey of learning how to cope with this particular diagnosis has finally in many ways put my herpes diagnosis into some perspective. Thinking about herpes now, I realize it can always be worse. Herpes won’t kill you, and it only limits you if you choose to let it. I chose to let it for many years. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not standing at my door shouting to the world I have herpes, but I do realize that it is not the worst thing life can deal you.

To everyone facing any devastating diagnosis, please remember, there are always things that are worse. Choose to live a full and happy life, whatever you define that to be. I’m finally working on making that my choice.

God Bless,
Mzlittlebird

“Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

Mzlittlebird shared this with all of us on Picking Up the Pieces and she encouraged me to share it with you here on my blog. I hope it will give all of you some perspective and hope.

If you are a regular of yoshi2me.com, our message board, and even picking up the pieces.. we want you to show us your happy face!?

Now we have a place where you can show us who you are and share your good times with the rest of us.

Check out our private photo forum.

If you are a participant of the sites mentioned above, you can now share photos with one another and begin to put a face with a name.

How cool is that?

Here’s how it works

I used to feel the same way, as did probably, everyone else on here.

The thing that helped me was reading different stories on Angela’s website. (www.yoshi2me.com) Also joining this forum and reading what other people are going through or have gone through, helped a great deal as well.

I was diagnosed in July and was horrified. Went through every stage from denial to suicidal thoughts. But when I came across this forum and Angela’s website, it made me realize this is nothing to be ashamed of and I’m not the only one. You HAVE herpes but you ARE NOT herpes, you can live a normal life with a spouse and children, herpes doesn’t kill you or anyone else, you are not alone! 1 in 5 people have it and 90% don’t even know they have it.

And just because you have herpes, doesn’t mean you’re skanky, dirty, etc. EVERYONE is at risk for an STD. You can sleep with 50 people, or just 1. All it takes is that ONE time for you to catch anything. And if anyone tells you different, well, that’s what your middle finger is for and that’s why you have two ;]

Kudos to Angela and everyone on here. Y’all helped me more than you know and I’m very grateful for that! And thanks to y’all, I now feel that herpes is just a blessing in disguise =]

See what others are saying

It’s so nice and refreshing when somebody writes in with something positive to say about the work that we are doing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart because when times are tough and people are mean it’s a beacon of light at the end of the tunnel and makes it worth it to keep going, even if it means helping only one person at a time. So thank you so much for all of your support, positive energy and good vibes. – Angela aka Yoshi2me