Hi there…I was in touch with you many years ago and you really helped me. It was 2006 and I had found out that I had HSV2. I found out through a blood test, and have never had any symptoms. At the time I had been dating someone that I dearly loved and was afraid of what he would say. However, I knew I had to tell him. You gave me some great advice and were a voice of comfort. Anyway, he took the news fine, and we continued in our relationship for another two years. It didn’t work out, and since then I have had a few more relationships. None of these partners were disturbed by my diagnosis.
Anyway, flash forward to now. I have been single for a bit, and at the beginning of the year I decided to start dating again. I met someone and thought we were really hitting it off. When I told him, he rejected me. It really hurt and was very traumatic. This was the first time I had ever been rejected.
Now I am seeing someone new, and I REALLY like him. We have been on a number of dates and there seems to be a great connection. I can tell he feels the same way. The chemistry is really there, and I know that we are going to need to have this talk. However, I am so very scared now. I will be devastated if he rejects me.
How do I overcome this fear? I know I need to tell him, and I won’t sleep with him without telling him, but I am just deathly afraid now. Any advice?
Thank you so much for all you do!
Hat Tip: Post Secret: Classic Secrets
MPWH charges for their service, they are into it to make a profit. They were not making that profit with me because I had bought a lifetime membership a long time ago. Changing screen names would not give me back what they stole from me. Oh, the State of California told me that they also failed to comply with the legal requirements for corporation so their corporation no longer legally exists.
MPWH is getting a LOT of bad press lately!!
Positive singles worked well for me!!
I bought a lifetime membership from MPWH some time ago, when the founder still was operating it. Not too long ago, I sent a response to about 12 people I thought I’d like to meet. While they weren’t just a short distance from me, there was a chance I might meet them at an area gathering called Bobstock, something I originally purchased my membership for. The result was that MPWH decided I was promoting a competitor of theirs and terminated my membership — to them I DIED. They wouldn’t even respond to e-mails I sent to them.
Yanno, I did the online thing for a long time because, with two young-ish kids, it was next to impossible to get out to meet anyone. Anyway, after a couple of years, it became apparent that there was NO WAY I was going to meet The One online so I aborted the effort and changed my profile on Plenty Of Fish to one of education about HSV1 and the risks of transmitting a “harmless cold sore” (which, as you know, is actually herpes) to someone via oral sex. I got PLENTY of emails asking me if I had it, to which my response varied depending on the person (I don’t have HSV1). I had PLENTY of men that ‘came out’ to me and asked questions AND I also had ones that were ignorant (verbal sparing is my forte) who were quickly put in their place. To make a long story shorter (lol), I had The Talk before I even met anyone even though I wasn’t meeting anyone to begin with. Know what I mean?
When I least expected it, I actually did meet The One and, after weeks of brushing him off, he succeeded in physically meeting me and he couldn’t care less about my STD status. I might add that I avoided the sites dedicated to people with STDs like the plague because I believe that I am better than quarantining myself to ‘my own
kind’. However, eight years ago, when I really did feel like a leper, one site dedicated to STDs helped me tremendously to get my mojo back, even though I’m
not going to give them a shout out now because I don’t believe in the way they’ve changed.
The gist of it is that you will KNOW when the time is right. It’s different for everyone. It may happen BEFORE the first date, ON the first date OR on the tenth date. It’s up to you. Above all else, it just needs to happen before intimacy. I hope that helps a little :)
What do you think of Positive Singles?
I really want to know. I want to know if you’ve tried it and whether or not you like it.
I also want to know if you found your significant other on Positive Singles and if you are living happily ever after.
Send me your story so I can put it up on the site, ok?
I think it’s so important for people to realize that unconditional love is very cool. Especially if you find the right one. It means the person you are with loves you for who you are.
I also would like to know if you still had the talk even though you met on Positive Singles. The reason why I mention this is because many people choose Positive Singles because they feel it takes the awkwardness out of having the talk. But I think you still have to have that discussion no matter which online dating site you choose.
Let me know what you think, ok?
I can’t wait to share your story. Also, if you would like to share your feedback and story please note that you may do so anonymously and/or via first names only.