The Daffodil Principle

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, “Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.”

I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead “I will come next Tuesday”, I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn’s house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

“Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!”

My daughter smiled calmly and said, “We drive in this all the time, Mother.”

“Well, you won’t get me back on the road until it clears, and then I’m heading for home!” I assured her.

“But first we’re going to see the daffodils. It’s just a few blocks,” Carolyn said “I’ll drive. I’m used to this.”

“Carolyn,” I said sternly, “Please turn around.”

“It’s all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience.”

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, ” Daffodil Garden .” We got out of the car, each took a child’s hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

“Who did this?” I asked Carolyn. “Just one woman,” Carolyn answered. “She lives on the property. That’s her home.” Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. “Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking”, was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. “50,000 bulbs,” it read. The second answer was, “One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain.” The third answer was, “Began in 1958.”

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time–often just one baby-step at time–and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

“It makes me sad in a way,” I admitted to Carolyn. “What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!”

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. “Start tomorrow,” she said.

She was right. It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, “How can I put this to use today?”

Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting…..

Until your car or home is paid off, Until you get a new car or home, Until your kids leave the house, Until you go back to school, Until you finish school, Until you clean the house, Until you organize the garage, Until you clean off your desk, Until you lose 10 lbs…..

Until you gain 10 lbs, Until you get married, Until you get a divorce, Until you have kids, Until the kids go to school, Until you retire, Until summer, Until spring, Until winter, Until fall, Until you die…..

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don’t need money. Love like you’ve never been hurt, and, Dance like no one’s watching.

Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!

Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. If you want to brighten someone’s day, pass this on to someone special. I just did…..

I blogged it for YOU!

Sean Covey: Author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens - SHAME ON YOU!

Angela, thanks for the info…

Here is a rant I just sent off to the publishers of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens” and its companion book “The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Ever Make.”

I AM SOOOOO PISSED–PLEASE SOUND THE ALARM!

I am the aunt of teenaged boy who is struggling with issues related to drug use and sexual activity–and I bought your book hoping to help him. Naturally I read it first.

Let me cut to the chase: as a medical social worker and therapist, I am OUTRAGED at the nonsensical, judgment-laden entry concerning herpes. Herpes are “gross”? It is “extraordinarily painful and humiliating”?

And finally–the information about infected mothers is a half-truth at best. HOW DARE YOU!! Are you the DIRECT heir to Puritanical garbage? I work to help teens lessen their hysteria about herpes–some get suicidal about getting what amounts (in most of the world by the way) to no more than a skin irritation–

What you are essentially saying to kids who read this–hey, if you already have herpes–your life will suck–and you may kill your babies. And to those “non-infected” (there may be about two of those left)–they should truly give up a partner if they find out that this person has herpes. “If you are shocked and grossed out a little by all this stuff–good.”?

YOU may have blood on your hands for this kind of holier than thou education. Shame on you. I am not done here–I intend to take this info to herpes advocate sites and other media.

And, oh, by the way, I have oral and genital herpes. I’ve dated others with it–I have friends in long marriages with it–in fact, those of us who KNOW we have it are MUCH less likely to pass it on–but even then–SO WHAT?? It is NOT NOT NOT a major disease.

Shame on you. Obviously, I did NOT give my nephew your book. And every teen client I have will know what book NOT to read.

ARRGGGHHH! - M

Here are a few key facts about HPV

Hi Angela–

I’ve been trying to spread the word about HPV and it’s link to cervical cancer and wanted to give you a head’s up about the HPV Test. (I read your recent HPV post).

There are some good patient testimonial videos at: www.youtube.com/profile?user=DigeneHPVtest

Here are a few key facts:

1.) The pap alone is not foolproof in detecting HPV– it can miss up to half of the time.

2.) But when combined with the Pap, the HPV test is virtually 100% accurate in identifying women at risk for cervical cancer.

3.) Cervical cancer is the only cancer with a single-known cause–the human papilloma virus.

4.) Approx. 80% of women will get one or more types of HPV by age 50.

There’s more information about the test at www.thehpvtest.com

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions!

*If you’re trying to make a difference and get the word out but you don’t have time to maintain a blog, send your announcement to me! I’d be happy to help you network that information.

The Digene HPV Test

HERPES TONIGHT begins June 5, 2008

Life Lessons, and Lesions, on Stage. See What Develops.

West Coast premiere following successful New York debut!

Preview June 5th

Opens June 6th, through June 24th, 2008

(Los Angeles, CA) (April, 2008)… The Immediate Theater Company is pleased to announce the West Coast debut of the uproarious solo comedy HERPES TONIGHT!, coming to the Lounge Theatre in Hollywood beginning June 5.

About The Show

HERPES TONIGHT! began with the experiences of writer/actor Corey Moosa - experiences he had not seen dramatized elsewhere.

Moosa, whose acting credits include several noted productions in New York, explains that “every day, thousands of people are diagnosed, and sometimes misdiagnosed, with sexually transmitted diseases. It’s really scary. Also really funny.”

Originally entitled Herpes: A Corey Story, the show had a successful premiere in 2007 at downtown Manhattan’s HERE Arts Center. Hailed as “a touching and hilarious one-man exploration of the diagnosis that changed everything” (nerofiddled.net), the show was embraced by audiences inside and outside the STD self-help community.

During the course of the eighty-minute performance, Moosa plays more than a dozen characters, including his Iraqi father, several members of a New York herpes support group, and Kurt Cobain. In addition to the wealth of medical information conveyed in the show, Moosa shares the advice of doctors good and bad (”He told me to Google it,” he says in astonishment, recalling the initial diagnosis), and the wisdom of personal experience (”I’m here to tell you it is possible to adjust your opinion of yourself and the world you live in to accommodate any number of viruses”). Arriving at the conclusion that “shame is not an STD,” he wrings pathos from comedy and comedy from pathos.

“Now, I’m not an expert in much,” Moosa tells his audience at the top of the show, “but I’m pretty smart when it comes to this stuff. I’m also really knowledgeable regarding popular television of the past forty years, which is totally unrelated to herpes, but crucial to my personal history.” Indeed, HERPES TONIGHT! is laced with references to the pop culture universe in which Moosa grew up. He explains the behaviors of viruses by comparing them to Star Trek characters, and identifies his ex-girlfriends as “Kathie Lee Gifford” and “Kelly Ripa,” to protect the innocent.

About the Writers

Moosa credits his collaborators with making the show work. Playwright Brian Shoaf, who co-wrote HERPES TONIGHT! with Moosa, helped him weave his experiences into drama. Shoaf’s previous plays, which have been seen at UCLA’s New Play Festival and the Seattle Fringe Festival, include Joist Wrote Ulysses and Girder Wrote Faust and This is Calm. Shoaf’s Conspirators was produced by the Immediate Theater Company, under the direction of José Zayas, who staged Herpes in its original incarnation.

Immediate Theater Company

The Immediate Theater Company (Best Theatre Company, 2005, New York Press) has won acclaim for such productions as The Germans in Paris and Strom Thurmond is Not a Racist, and Zayas was named one of nytheatre.com’s “People of the Year” in 2007. The sound effects and slide projections used in Herpes were designed by Noah Diamond, another frequent Moosa collaborator, who cast him in the political satires Burning Bush: A Faith-Based Musical and Moral Value Meal.

About the Team

Performed by Corey Moosa. Written by Corey Moosa and Brian Shoaf. Lighting design by Matt Richter. Sound, graphics, and direction by Noah Diamond. Original direction by José Zayas.

HERPES TONIGHT! runs June 5th through June 24th, 2008. Preview is June 5th, with opening night June 6th. Performances are at The Lounge Theatre at 6201 Santa Monica Blvd. in Hollywood, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 8 PM. Tickets are $20 (preview night $15). Running time is 70 minutes with intermission and concessions available. Allow time for street parking.

For reservations, call (323) 960-7776 or RESERVE ONLINE:
www.plays411.com/herpes

Other places you might like to check out are as follows:

1.) Herpes Help

2.) Social Support Networking Alliance

3.) Shut Up N Post! STD Message Board

HSV and Cancer

Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) has absolutely NOTHING to do with Cancer. HSV does NOT cause cancer and it does NOT turn into cancer.

I don’t understand where some people are getting their information from.

A great resource to have in your home library if you don’t already is a book called “Managing Herpes - How to Live and Love with a Chronic STD” by Charles Ebel & Anna Wald, M.D., M.P.H.

It’s a handbook from the Herpes Resource Center of the American Social Health Association.

I believe their most recent edition came out last summer so make sure you order the most current one.

And if you haven’t figured this one out yet you can see that ASHA is on my top friends list. Be sure and add them to your Myspace network. What a great way to point your friends in their direction just in case they are looking for information about STDS.

I hope you have a wonderful day(s)

Hi Angela,

I just wanted to say that I am really enjoying this web-site that you have put together. I am new to this place, and the forum, about two weeks now, but everyone is so helpful and cheery.

At first when i came across your site, i was frustrated and upset and thought life would surely be screwed over for me, but in the past two weeks my attitude towards having herpes started to get better, and i started to look more at the positives than the negatives. Yes i have an incurable disease, but it’ll show who really cares for me and who isn’t worth my time.

So I would like to say thank you very much, this site is amazing, there are a bunch of people from all over, me, coming from Canada (:D) Just to know I’m not alone, is wonderful…

I hope you have a wonderful day(s)

L-Lysine Feedback

I have been taking lysine for 3+ months now. I am truly a skeptic so my opinion is based on experience and not speculation.

Lysine has shown for me to reduce the length and severity of outbreaks dramatically. Normally 9-10 days from initial tingle to normal skin is my recovery rate.

I started with 1g per day and saw a noticeable decrease in outbreak severity. I upped it to 2g per day and reduced the recovery time from 9 days to 3-4 days.

Also the length of time from one out break to the next was increased from about every 30 days to every 45-50 days. I plan on upping the dose to 3g per day and seeing if there is any effect for the next 90 days.

As a side note, for years I was experiencing outbreaks maybe 3-4 times per year. I never treated or used suppressive therapy and just accepted it.

Over the last 2 years, I have seen increased outbreaks to every 30 days. I decided in Dec 07 to take a proactive stance and see if there was any change.

Lysine seems to work at reducing the recovery rate quite nicely but does not seem to reduce the frequency enough to stand on a mountain and claim victory. Maybe this is a cumulative thing so I will stay on the current regime for another 120 days and re-evaluate. - Joe

Read what others are saying about L-Lysine

HPV Linked to Oral Cancer in Men

A recent study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology highlights the link between human papilloma virus (HPV) and oral cancer in men.

The study examined data on more that 46,000 cases of oral cancer from the National Cancer Institute.

Researchers found that incidence rates for HPV-related oral cancers rose steadily in men from 1973 to 2004, with HPV causing nearly as many oral cancers as tobacco and alcohol.

Let’s talk about HPV

I tried Chemistry.com and I didn’t like it

I tried Chemistry.com and based on my experience save your money. There really isn’t much to this site. I saw the tv ads too and gave it a shot.

I started with the trial that is advertised, filled the extensive personality test but didn’t get far before I got a page blocking me from fully using the site without subscribing. The site doesn’t let you see what you are getting until you subscribe.

So I did. I gave it a whirl and did the $99 three month membership. I was presented with 5 potential matches.

There is a slider bar where you indicate your level of interest for each match and then the site contacts them to see if the first impression is mutual to allow you to go to the questions phase or if the match should be archived.

So far this was all well and good except there was more than a little bs going on. According to “Dr Fisher” there are 4 personality categories. Each person has a major and minor personality category depending on your answers to the test. When a potential match is presented, you get a paragraph explaining why you match well with each of the other 15 possibilities (major/minor combinations). Except it becomes apparent it doesn’t really matter what that combination is. You get this vague paragraph in pyschobabblese supposedly from matchmaker Fisher selling you what actually is completely arbitrary.

So this was disappointing. But more I became annoyed when they wouldn’t accept one of my photos. It wasn’t pornographic or inappropriate. It was a facial shot with a blue graphic effect on it that I posted with my standard photos. I got an email saying it wasn’t acceptable because it was blurry even though I had standard photos that showed what I looked like. The point of this specific photo wasn’t to do that but to present myself in a more artistic light. The point of your profile is to present yourself for possible matches and yet Chemistry.com wanted to marshal how I was allowed to do that. Again, I would have understood if the photo was pornographic or something.

After the first couple days I only got 1 to 2 matches every other day or so many without photos and an underdeveloped profile page. This isn’t entirely the matches fault. The site only allows for a general paragraph and photos.

After deciding the service wasn’t worth the money I was paying I wrote them to asked for the prorated portion to be returned to my credit card and for my membership to be cancelled. I have written the site several times now and I only get a form letter telling me to call their CS line. I didn’t want to waste anymore time but eventually I did call, waited on hold and get the predictable nice girl on the phone hired to placate instead of solve any problems.

They refused to refund my money. After investing 30 to 45 minutes of my time she agreed to scale back my membership to 1 month for $50 instead of 3 months for $100 which wasn’t acceptable but I took only because it was all I could get. Again, the girl was pleasant enough but kept telling me it was detailed in the terms no refunds are returned for unused time when you cancel. Of course since I couldn’t see the product until I paid they had me.

It has been almost a week since that conversation and my subscription status page doesn’t even reflect the change they agreed to. I emailed them again about it and they told me to call the 800 number again. So far I haven’t which they are probably counting on.

My experience with Chemistry.com has just been a waste of time and money. They advertise, cast a wide net and once you pay they don’t care anymore. The service doesn’t give you anything you can’t get free at other sites. The psychological aspect of this site is a ruse. Every potential match combination comes with a form letter. Its all arbitrary. The site is very limited. And once they have your money they have no interest in keeping your business. Join a book club if you are sick of the bar. You won’t get your money’s worth here. - Tristram

Read more Match.com and Chemistry.com comments