What are the chances that I get infected?

Here’s the question:

Hello, you might be able to answer my question.  Ive just had a sexual relationship with someone infected.  There was oral and then protected intercourse.  the other person did not have an outbreak at the time.  I guess im being paranoid but what are the chances that I get infected.  if so how long does it takes before symptomes starts showing.  Nice site….need more people like you.  tk you

Here’s what I think:

I guess if it were me, I would start by getting tested. Since herpes isn’t included in the routine std testing process, it’s probably a good idea to figure that part out.

Also, just because you had sex with somebody that has herpes doesn’t mean that you definitely contracted it. People that have herpes are not 100% contagious at all times. The only time we are contagious is if the virus is active and present on the surface of the skin.

But sometimes it can be active and you can’t see or feel it. That’s why people with herpes are told that it’s still possible to pass herpes even if there aren’t any signs or symptoms that you can see or feel.

As far as first time signs or symptoms go, everybody is different. Some people will contract it and they won’t know it and others might get symptoms anywhere from 10 - 14 days afterward.

Be sure and visit my: Herpes Information pg

Talk about  herpes on the: Shut Up N Post! STD Message Board

What should I do?

Here’s the question:

I am trying to get over it and go on with my life.  i haven’t contacted my ex in quite a while and was doing better.  I get a phone call from him just the other day and he informs me that he has moved in with a new girlfriend and is happy and doing well.  Also he said he was calling to check on me and see how I was doing.  I really don’t know why it’s affecting me so bad, but the news had me in tears and i have been angry ever since what should I do????

Here’s the answer:

Next time he calls, don’t answer the phone. If he has you that fired up and upset there is no need to put yourself through that. Besides, I don’t think his girlfriend would appreciate knowing that he was calling to check up on you. Why is that? Doesn’t seem right to me.

He’s moved on with his life so it’s time for you to move on with yours. You live and learn.

Is it possible to contract herpes via oral sex?

Here is the question:

I have oral herpes and I have some concerns.  I have been tested for genital herpes and it was negative, but I gave my boyfriend oral sex and he has blisters on his penis now….could I have passed it to him?  I don’t know if it’s possible to pass oral herpes to his penis when I don’t have genital herpes…I am freaking out!  Please help if you can!  Thank you so much!

Here’s is my answer:

Since you say that you have oral herpes, then yes, it is possible to pass herpes to your boyfriends genital via oral sex.

You’ve already said that you don’t have genital herpes and that it’s oral herpes that you have. So there is no way he could have contracted it from your genitals since you don’t have it there. Does that make sense?

Is your boyfriend planning on getting testing OR going to see the doctor so he can figure out what those blisters on his penis are? It might not even be herpes at all, ya know?

Remembering September 11, 2001

ie: Domestic Divapalooza

Funny Story

I had a dental appointment yesterday so I went.

When I got there they wanted me to fill out another informational history page because they were getting a new computer system and there was a glitch with the old one.

So I sat down to fill out the page to include my medical history where you have to check which scenarios describe what you’ve experienced.

Among all the other health issues that they want you to check yes or no on I found herpes listed 3 times on the page. It actually made me giggle a bit when I saw that.

They had herpes listed 3 times as: herpes, cold sores/fever blisters, and genital herpes.

So what I did is I said YES for herpes, NO for coldsores/fever blisters, and YES for genital herpes. Then at the bottom of the page where it asked for comments I write a note letting them know that they had listed herpes 3 times and that I thought they should know so they could fix their form.

Then I put a smilie face and turned it in.

My dental appointment was a complete success.

No cavities! =]

You can Not get herpes from a swimming pool

I will never understand why people don’t do the research before they make up their mind on things. I got an note from a gal that is insisting that herpes can be spread from swimming pools. Unless you are having sex inside that pool with the other person, you are not going to contract herpes. I tried to explain it to her and she just was not getting it. Here’s how it went..

Here’s the 1st note that I got

Hi! I just wanted to share what I was told by my children’s pediatrician today: Chlorine in a swimming pool absolutely DOES NOT kill the herpes virus. After finding so much controversial information on the Internet, I decided to contact my children’s doctor to pose the question. There was a child in my daughter’s swim group the other day who had an outbreak all over his lips. Mortified I removed my daughter from the pool & discreetly alerted the athletics director. After a bit of arguing, he called me to inform me that the virus could be transmitted in the pool & they would be more aware of anyone entering the pool with an active outbreak. Although chlorine lessens the chance of spreading the virus, it DOES NOT mean the virus is unable to spread in a swimming pool. Also, just so you know, I’ve had herpes since the age of 10 when my father gave it to me following an innocent kiss goodnight. I would NEVER get into a pool with an outbreak, & was alarmed to see that others don’t always have the same consideration. Just wanted to share, thanks for listening. 

Here’s my response to her 1st note

You are NOT going to contract herpes from being inside of a swimming pool with somebody that has an active outbreak. I can’t believe you had the child with a coldsore pulled out of the swimming pool. Good Grief!

The only way you could possibly contract the virus inside of the swimming pool is if you were having sex with somebody that had it inside of the pool. I can’t believe you all freaked out over this.

Here’s the 2nd note that I got

I must say my peace & then I’m finished debating this subject.  1st of all I didn’t “freak out” about this situation, I simply discretely removed MY child from the pool, (not the other child) brought it to the appropriate parties’ attention, & am now hoping for the best.  You are so very wrong in believing the virus can ONLY be spread through sexual contact.  Both my family doctor as well as my children’s ped informed me that YES it is most certainly possible to contract herpes from a close contact swimming class, esp. when the children are playing with toys in the pool which come into direct contact with the outbreak on the child’s mouth & are then passed on to another child’s mouth.  Unfortunately, yours is the naive attitude which assists the transmission of this virus to innocent children.  I myself am SO very careful not to pass this on to my children or anyone else, & would greatly appreciate the same consideration from others.  Have a great day! 

Here’s my response to her 2nd note

Your doctor is wrong. You can NOT contract herpes from a swimming pool.

I suggest you read the Updated Herpes Handbook over on the Westover Heights Clinic web site.

You can also contact the Herpes Resource Center of the American Social Health Association and they would be more than happy to discuss this with you further.

Here’s the 3rd note that I got

IT’S QUITE OBVIOUS YOU EITHER AREN’T CAPABLE OF THOROUGHLY READING, OR UNABLE TO COMPREHEND THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

MOUTH…..

TO TOY…..

TO MOUTH…..

ANYWHERE CAN TRANSMIT THE DISEASE, EVEN IN A SWIMMING POOL!  HERPES IS BEING SPREAD IN DAYCARE SETTINGS, PRESCHOOLS, & SCHOOLS ON A REGULAR BASIS VIA TOYS, CUPS, & OTHER NON-SEXUAL CONTACT.  IT’S UNNERVING TO SEE MISINFORMATION BEING SPREAD TO ANYONE CAPABLE OF TURNING ON A COMPUTER.  MY INTENT WAS SIMPLY TO EDUCATE & SHARE A DISTURBING EXPERIENCE, BUT IF THE AMERICAN HEALTH ASSOCIATION SAYS IT’S NOT POSSIBLE, THEN BY ALL MEANS!  WE ALL KNOW TO TAKE THE WORD OF EVERY AMERICAN HEALTH ORGANIZATIONS AS THE GOSPEL, THEY’VE DONE SUCH A GREAT JOB SO FAR!  PLEASE CONTINUE TO ENJOY THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR ROSE-COLORED GLASSES, & DO NOT CONTACT ME ANY FURTHER, AS I WILL CONTINUE TO EDUCATE & PROTECT MY CHILDREN FROM THOSE SUCH AS YOURSELF. 

She didn’t want me contacting her again so I thought it would be nice to go ahead and share my thoughts and feelings on her spin on it here

You can’t contract herpes from a swimming pool, in daycare settings, preschools or schools on a regular basis via toys, cups and other non sexual contact the way that she mentions it. Why? Because the virus can’t survive on these things outside of the body.

This woman is crazy to think that her children are susceptible to an STD by being in a swimming pool, daycare setting OR school with somebody that has herpes. It just doesn’t work that way.

She actually sounds like a bit of a hypochondriac to me.

Since she is so adamant and seems to have all the answers I have no idea why she bothered to write to me in the first place. Go figure!?

When people sue because of herpes

From the Feedback Form

Hi;  My question is this, my wife is suing me for giving her hsv2. She is saying that I told her I knew I had it, which isn’t true, I found out after she told me she has it. I am trying to find somewhere it shows that just because I have antibodies, doesn’t means I did have a breakout, My d.o. says that I had been exposed to the virus sometime ago and have a build up of antibodies to fight against it. I have looked up info about hsv, but can’t find really my question answered.

From Angela aka Yoshi2me

I don’t think that your wife can sue you for giving her herpes. How does she know that she didn’t contract herpes from one of her past partners before you came along?

Also, it’s not as if you forced her to have sex with you against your will. She was married to you for many years and had sex with you in spite of either of yours or her status.

I think your wife saying that she is going to sue you is her just being vindictive because the marriage is not working out.

Lastly, when you contract herpes your body develops antibodies so if you have the antibodies then that means that you have herpes.

It is also possible to pass herpes even if there are no signs or symptoms present. Many people don’t know that.

Honestly, I don’t think your wife has a case at all. But that’s just my unprofessional opinion and I’m not a doctor OR an attorney.

I’m just merely sharing my opinion based on what I  know and my own experiences.

Good Luck!

PS I think it’s absolutely ridiculous when people say that they are going to sue over herpes. I know that many celebrities find themselves in court but I don’t think it’s because of herpes as much as it’s because the person suing wants to thicken their bank account.

How is it possible for us to have two different types of Herpes?

From the Feedback Form

I have a question that I’m very confused about, can you help?

Recently I was just diagnosed with type 2 herpes because of an outbreak, and my gyno said my level was at a 1.19 which means that I just recently contracted it, well, I’ve only had sex with 1 guy in 10 years, and then he went and got tested, and the doctor told him he has type 1 herpes and he’s had it for a while.

How is it possible for me to have type 2 and him to have type 1???

From Angela aka Yoshi2me

The only way to know for sure if you just contracted herpes for the first time would be to have a positive herpes culture result and a negative herpes antibody result.

Once you develop antibodies there is no way to know from which of your partners you contracted it from even if you didn’t have sex with anybody else more than 10 years ago.

With that said, all it takes is 1 time to contract herpes whether it be type-1, type-2 OR both types.

The other possibility is that maybe your current partner wasn’t accurately type tested?

Have you thought about asking your doctor to elaborate further?

Will knowing who you contracted it from change your status?

Hang in there!

The other thing is the antibody level is going to fluctuate - that’s normal.

Looking for a Herpes Support Group in Seattle

From the Feedback Form

Hi there

WOW I just found this site and think it great.

Found out about two months ago I HSV, basically a rash on my penis. Not to uncomfortable, but still I am horrified over this. I know I adjusting but . . .holy smokes!

Anyway, I am 43 and have been divorced for 6 years. I have had partners since then and have contacted most of them about them and everyone is of course shocked but thanks me for the honesty. None have called back to say they are positive.

My ex wife had HSV cold sores, but I never have had them. I remember her complaining that times during sex she would develop a rash that she treated with something but never admitted that it could be herpes.

The thought never came to mind. But that neither here nor there, just guess I need to find a support group, and also a clinic that can help me in the Seattle area.

Can you help me with that? My outbreak has been continuous for about two months now, comes and goes a bit but its still there. Help! :o)

From Angela aka Yoshi2me

Nobody should have to endure any sort of pain connected to herpes as far as I’m concerned. Have you thought about making an appointment to seeing your family doctor to see if he/she can help you get the pain under control?

I would give your doctor a call and let them know that the outbreak is not going away. Maybe they will have you come in so they can make sure that there isn’t something else going on in addition to herpes, ya know?

I’m not all that sure about what sort of local support groups are in your area off-hand but I can tell you that we have an online  herpes support group:

Shut Up N Post! STD Message Board

I hope you get it figured out and can get the outbreak under control.

Good Luck!

Will Oprah ever do a show about Herpes?

Dear Yoshi,

Oprah Winfrey is currently seeking people who have “major” health issues to appear on her show.

I consider the consequences of HSV2 to be “major” if you address the lack of knowledge, health issues, growing infection rates, and deficient testing processes!

I have watched friends (one a virgin) who contracted HSV2 contemplate suicide. We also know those who did take their life after learning they were infected. There are others who suffer serious long-term PID health issues, many who have the inability to form relationships, others who face rejection in the dating world, and some who remain in a constant state of depression because of HSV2.

In one Herpes support group I’m familiar with, one very attractive, well-educated member has not even attempted to date since she was infected 12 YEARS AGO! Following her diagnosis, another beautiful young woman covered every mirror in her home because she could no longer look at herself. Many have totally lost interest in their appearance–as a deterrent to attracting men at all. In the same group, a 50+ year old man with HSV2 STILL doesn’t think you can contract it or pass it on unless you have unprotected sex!

As you have said so many times on your message boards, the world needs to be educated about HSV2. If we’re looking for the ideal opportunity to start the dialog, OPRAH would be the place!  (The subject MUST be presented to the OPRAH staff tactfully, factually, with good statistical data and anecdotal material–or I’m afraid they’ll simply reject it.)

As you know, one critical problem that needs to be exposed is the current STD testing process–both private and public.  When confronted, the man that infected the virgin (through heavy petting/skin-to-skin contact only) said he was “clean” based on his STD test–and also Asymptomatic. His follow-up test for HSV2 was positive. Based on his false assumptions, he has probably infected numerous other women along the way.

There are many, both male and female, who have returned with a “clean” bill of health from STD testing, only to spread the disease because they did not KNOW that they were infected. Why? They didn’t request that particular test and simply  assumed that STD tests include HSV2!

I know people are probably hesitant to go public with HSV2. But, please, please does SOMEONE in the community have the nerve to present this case to Oprah and appear on the show? We owe it to all of those out there who have HSV2 and are suffering the physical, psychological, and emotional consequences of this disease.

P.S.  They also need to know that there’s a site on the Internet and on Myspace that REALLY HELPS!

That was an e-mail that I got encouraging me to contact Oprah. As some of you may already know, I have attempted to contact her over the years. She’s a busy woman and probably doesn’t have time to write me back. So, I’ve resorted to sharing on my blog. I’ll also be posting a link on our Herpes Awareness and Advocacy page! - Angela aka Yoshi2me