There is a gal that posts pretty regularly over on Picking Up the Pieces that left someone with some excellent advice that she and I both felt was worth sharing with you guys over here on Sexual Health Buzz. I hope that this piece of advice will help people.
I understand your emotions completely. Unfortunately, many people do not disclose. Just wait till your test comes back before you come to any conclusions. Valtrex is very effective in reducing transmission. And, with a condom, chances are even less. If, your tests go from negative to positive (like mine did), you know where you got it from. And, hopefully,
this individual will realize the errors of his ways and live his life right. But, it is out of your control and all you can do either way, is go on with your life.
I wouldn’t go around telling everyone. If, you have a close trusted friend/family member. It might not be a bad idea to let them know what you are going through. It is always better to stand as two than being alone. My close friends and family have been a great support system for me.
Try and find a local support/help group in your area.
And, even, if your test does come back positive. You are the same person, inside and out.
For me what works is God. If, I worry more, am stressed out, or life in general. It’s because my spiritual life isn’t where it should be. So, I pray more. Get in the Word more. The stronger I am spiritually, the easier ANYTHING in life becomes. I am actually more picky since I was diagnosed. And, I feel that I’m worth more than I did before. (Imagine that) It didn’t happen overnight, it was a process. I went through the “I’ll only date someone who has it”, to I’ll never date again. I met guys that had it and guys that accepted the fact that I did have this. And, guess what, I CHOSE not to date any of them. I thought originally that I would just go to the first person who offered me a relationship, because then I would be under the safety umbrella of a relationship. That didn’t work out for me because my self esteem was rising and yours will too.
The “enemy” thrives on depression and low self-esteem. The enemy knows our deepest fears and uses it against us. But, God and having faith will always win. Reading the bible, praying, and being with a good support system will make you even harder to be knocked down. Whether it be a manageable virus or “when something really happens”.
Just as you had choices before, you will have choices after. I felt cornered when I was originally diagnosed and now I don’t. And, you will too. Progress not perfection. Anyone who doesn’t see who you are, isn’t seeing the real you. They are only seeing a “skin condition”. And, you are worth way more than that.
Take a break from dating. Be with yourself for a while. Re-evaluate what you want. Take this as a learning experience. You will NOW trust your instincts quicker and be a wiser person from this. I have found that I can spot the “red flags” quicker and I watch more closely. I am more in tune to what is happening instead of being in the daze of infatuation. So, in some ways, this has been a blessing. I’m more picky, have more attitude, have grown more spiritual and my instincts are on high alert. I like being single, am going out with my friends more, walking closer with God and am enjoy just being me. Sometimes I see myself being married, sometimes not. I did get an offer of marriage (from someone who doesn’t have it) and the ball was left in my court. So, yes, it does get better. You will see that you have choices and you will grow from this
experience. I was exactly where you are now, a year ago. Even a year, can make a difference.
Hope this helps.
Wasn’t that great advice you guys! When I read the advice that was given the other day it made me happy to see that people no longer feel tried by their fear to hold on to something that really isn’t worth holding on to. I hope this post helps you if you are reading!