Hi! I just read your blog “19 and a virgin”, and I just wanted to share my story, because i just had a very similar happening, except I was 18.
Back in May of 2011, I became in a relationship with the guy of my dreams. He was the sweetest, most handsome guy, I had ever met. I was 17 when we started dating, and he was 21. This was my first serious relationship. Up until this point, i had never even kissed a guy! I’ve always been a shy girl, and he helped me get out of my little comfort
zone, and that’s one of the things I liked about him.
He was in the army, a very clean cut, respectable man. At least that’s what he made me think. Let’s just say, he was very good at manipulating me, and making me believe every word that came out of his mouth.
This is a very drama filled story, so be prepared!
He had his ex-girlfriend pregnant. So throughout our realtionship, I had to deal with all kinds of baby mamma drama. She was not a fan of me, seeing as I “stole her babies father”. Besides the baby mamma drama, our relationship was amazing. I never thought I could truly love somebody, as much as I loved him. I couldn’t see myself with anybody else.
About a month after we got together, we had sex. Not really the time frame I preferred, I wanted to wait, so that way I knew it meant something to him, as well, and not just me. Mind you, my ex had had sex with just about 40 girls at this time. Yes, I shoulda known better, but I didn’t. He said he had recently been tested by the army, because they do yearly std checks. Seeing as it was the army, I believed him, of course.
I only agreed to have sex this early in our relationship, if he promised, that things wouldn’t change after the fact. He did. But things did change..
After this, we were having sex on a daily basis. ALWAYS protected, even though I was on the pill. There was 1 time, we had unprotected sex. But our relationship started spirling downwards. He started treating me badly, started lying, rolled his eyes at me everytime I made him say “I love you” back. It was awful. But being the person I am, I delt with it, and ignored all the obvious signs in front of my face.
In late July, I found stuff down in my “area” that was not normal. This was about 2 weeks after we had unprotected sex, and I was scared. I had my mom make me an appointment with my doctor.
I went and got checked out, and my doctor told me that she was almost positive, that it was herpes, but that she would test it, just to make sure. I left that doctors office, with a prescription for “valtrex”. I texted my boyfriend, and confronted him. I was embarrassed, I felt dirty. I couldn’t believe this would happen to me, of all people. Why did i deserve this?
We talked about it, and he swore up and down, that he never cheated, and I wanted to believe him, but I didn’t. But also made him think I believed him. I was in love. Love makes you do stupid things.
About 2 weeks later, my doctor called me, and confirmed that I was infected with the HSV 2 virus. I was devestated. I cried, and cried, and cried. I’ve never been an emotional person, but it was traumatizing to someone who was only 18!
My boyfriend told me, that he doesn’t have it, and that he has never had any symptoms, or outbreaks. He was coming up with every excuse in the book, to make himself feel better. Which I found humorous, because he HAD to of given it to me. There was no other way.
A month went by, and he broke up with me. I think i was more devastated when he broke up with me, than I was when I found out I had herpes. I went into a full blown, deep depression. I ended up losing 40lbs. I didn’t want to do anything.
The day after we broke up, all the truth came out.
I found out that he cheated on me with 3 girls. 1 of them, being his baby mamma! With finding this out, I knew how I got the herpes for sure.
A couple months went by, and I started talking to someone new. I eventually told them I had herpes. I was so scared, but the reaction he gave me, was unbelievable! He had no problem with it what so ever! I was so relieved!
Our relationship didn’t last, because he’s in the marines, and is stationed 650 miles away from me. But his family lives were i live, and I’m still very close to them.
To this day my boyfriend that gave me herpes, still denies that he has it, and won’t go get tested. We still talk from time to time. I don’t hate him anymore, I’m mature enough to see that people make mistakes, and I moved on.
I was so relieved to see your story, and to see that I’m not the only one this has happened to! I’m still learning to cope with having herpes. its hard, but its getting better, day by day. I hope you enjoyed my story, and hope to hear back from you!
Thanks for reading :)