I wanted to share my story with everyone… I wrote you when I first found out I was HSV positive but before the actual results came in. People who has posted their stories have really helped me so I wanted to help as well.
It was well… the beginning of 09, what a way to bring in the new year. I was so scared. I am 23 years old, in the midst if finally finding that amazing someone after quite a few heart aches. I had sore in my genital area and I knew it was not right… I was thinking Herpes but then I thought no way.
The sores where there for a couple days and I couldn’t take it anymore, they were getting worse. I called the doctors to get in right away because I had no idea what was going on.
I then proceeded to call my boyfriend whom I ended up waking up since he works all night at the hospital. He is a med student and a very busy guy. I felt bad for waking him up and he asked if he could call me later and I said yes. But he could hear just in my tone that something was wrong so he asked if I was okay and I just broke out into tears.
He tried to calm me down and reassured me that if it was herpes it wasn’t from him, he had been tested for everything just a couple months back so he said he would go get tested again and to let him know what the outcome was and we would work around it. He was the one telling me about herpes and the different strains and how I could have gotten it a long time ago and had never had an outbreak. I guess being a med student has its benefits. I was still very upset.
I went to the doctors several hours later… the day was dragging on, I felt like i sat in that waiting room for hours and when she examined me and just by looking at it she said she was pretty sure it was the HSV virus, I felt my heart sink. All the worry, am I going to lose this amazing guy I had met just three months prior, where did I get this, will he stay with me? I felt so incredibly dirty.
After I left the office, I called him… no answer. Waiting for him to call me back was horrible. When he finally did, I saw it was him calling and just broke out in tears. How was I going to tell him that its more than likely this horrible virus. I told him straight out that she was pretty sure it was and that she put me on Valtrex. I cried even harder when I asked him if he was sure he wasn’t going to leave me. He said “babe, I told you that I like you and that we can work around this. I am not going to leave you because of this.”
When the doctor called me to tell me I was positive with HSV 1 I was a bit more relieved that it was the lesser of the two “evils” and my boyfriend was also glad to hear this news, it was the strain he thought I had too. When I told him, he asked me how I was and just hugged me. He kept asking me showing that he cared.
Months went by and our sexual relationship slowed down a lot because of his busy schedule. Then being all paranoid I got myself thinking that maybe he was just making up excuses not to come over, not to make love with me because I was HSV positive.
That all changed when he finally had time to come spend some time with me in his busy schedule. We were making out and it got to the point where we stopped and looked at each other, he told me he was debating whether or not to just go for it like we had in the past without a condom or to just put one on. I told him it was up to him, that I know he is clean and that he knows I’m not. He is well aware of the chances and we ended up not using one. Later he told me that he didn’t care, that he plans on being with me for a long time anyways. I just hugged him and smiled.
Here I was worried that he had been staying away because of it but here he is not caring and willing to take the chances. If he isn’t the most amazing guy I have ever met, I don’t think one exists.
If you do, send it to me and I will be more than happy to post it for you.