|
A New Beginning
I met my first boyfriend when I was 21 years old
and in college. He was head over heels for me from the day we met. We became
really close, and eventually I lost my virginity to him. We dated for about a
year and a half. We saw each other just about everyday, and when we were
physically apart, we were on the phone together.
He became madly in love with me. Suddenly my family
began to notice his obsessive ways and warned me he was not the guy for me. I
knew he had some problems to work on, but they could be fixed right?
He and I thought he would be my first, last, and
forever. That is the way he wanted it.
Eventually he became very aggressive, irrational,
and narrow-minded. I became depressed and did not know the way "out" of the
relationship. He constantly brainwashed me into believing that he was the only
one in the world who actually loved me the most.
After a horrible incident in a bar, we broke up. He
never stopped calling me despite the fact I would not speak to him. He sent me
daily poems, messages, pleas, apologies, and called me all day long.
I gave in.
We hooked up and he was so ecstatic. In his heart
he believed that we were still going to be married one day. I asked him if he
had been with anyone other than I since our break up. He screamed NO!!! He
actually became upset that I asked. He said he could not make love to another
girl. He loves me. All he thinks about is me. So he wooed me and we had sex.
Later that very same night I thought I had a
horrible yeast infection. I went to the pharmacy and bought an over the counter
kit asap. I went home and went to bed to insert the cream. Just as I was about
to I felt a little bump on my inner vaginal lips. My heart beat increased, but
for the most part I tried to remain calm.
I went into the bathroom and picked up a mirror to
inspect and to my disbelief I found several tiny red bumps. I almost lost it. I
immediately washed my hands, began crying, held my chest, and ran into my
bedroom.
I closed my bedroom door, turned off the lights,
and hid under my blankets. I then reached for my phone to call my ex.
He stayed on the phone all night with me trying to
calm me down. He said I probably was just irritated from the condom (because we
did use a condom). He repeatedly reassured me that I was okay. I kept asking him
if he had been with anyone else. He became really angry with me. He said the
answer is going to be the same each time "NO!". I tossed and turned all night.
My vagina I thought was on fire. I just wanted those bumps to go away! I prayed
to God that I would never have sex again if these bumps would go away.
As soon as I woke the next morning I ran for the
mirror to see if they disappeared. They were still the same and there. I had to
break down and tell my mother because I knew something was wrong, and I probably
had herpes. Although I did not want to believe or accept it, my mother told me
that I have to go to the doctors. I had to take action immediately.
My ex wanted to come, but I told him my mother is
coming instead. I broke down crying at the doctors, the medical staff said my
blood pressure was out of control. They did a good job in TRYING to calm me
down. Well the doctor took one look down there and said, "these are blisters".
There it was.
I was sitting on the table in a blank stare, looking up at the ceiling silently
screaming, "OMG!!!!". My life just played out right in front of me. I am only
23, in my senior year of college. I thought this was suppose to be a good year.
I only slept with one guy! We both were tested when we first started dating. Why
God, Why ?
So I pulled myself together and walked out into the
waiting area to sign for my prescriptions and pay the fee. My mother knew as
soon as she saw me. She was the greatest support system. I drug her through hell
the next 4-5 days.
I became really sick, with flu-symptoms. I couldn't
walk, go to school, or work. I had to urinate in the shower which helped alot. I
refused to eat or drink so I wouldn't have to use the bathroom, and I ended up
fainting.
All this is still really new since my diagnosis has
only been a month.
The good news is my symptoms cleared up within 4-5
days for a initial outbreak. I was diagnosed on a wed. and by that Friday night
I was partying it up with my friends and sister at the club. I am still
struggling to cope, but I am accepting.
I must acknowledge that life goes on. What's done
is done. Things happen for a reason, and this only makes me stronger.
I am going to live my life. This is not the end,
only a new beginning. So what, I have a skin disease?
I have not spoken to my ex since my doctor's visit.
He called me repeatedly because he was really worried about me. He still calls
me every so often but I do not answer. I do not know if he lied to me and did
have sexual relations with someone, or he had it before and I just was really
lucky. What I do know is that I do have this, and nothing he can say will change
the situation. Only I can.
Copyright 2003-2009 Yoshi2me.com |
All
proceeds earned from various ads scattered throughout, work to help me
keep the site going, to cover costs, so folks can continue to find the
help they are looking for. Much appreciative!