Herpes, Hepatitis and HIV

I was 20 and had already had a son that was 1 1/2, his dad and I had split up after 3 years due to him being in the service in Cali, the long distance thing only worked for so long until I was fed up. He then got out and moved back to where we were both from. I found out he fathered a little girl in Cali, while we were together so I knew that the trust would never be the same.

I found myself answering a phone call on New Year's Eve from him begging for me to come over and see him.  I did and now I severely regret going over. He begged me to get back with him, and he said he would change... yada, yada and I found myself being intimate with him, after being lonely for sooo long. I didn't know who he'd had sex with so I wouldn't sleep with him. He performed oral sex on me, and I don't recall even kissing him (was a little tipsy) I left and knew that, that was it. I didn't care to get back with him, the flame between the two of us was no longer there.

A couple days later I was working when I realized I felt really sore, thinking that it was whisker burn from that heated night just days before, I figured it would go away. I got sick, a temperature, my lymph nodes were swollen, and my neck hurt along with my back, not unbearably, but enough to go see my gyno and I called for an emergency visit and was in that afternoon.

She came in, looked at it and said yep, looks like herpes to me. She gave me a prescription for valtrex and sent me on my way. I was so young and naive that I didn't even look it up, filled the prescription, took it and didn't think about it until the next outbreak. Yep, now there is a constant reminder for the last 7 years.

I have never had a test to tell me what simplex I have, I just assume that I have 1, since I didn't touch him anywhere near his genital area, and he only performed oral sex on me. I know I need to get tested to find out which one I have. I get outbreaks often and I hate them. I go through severe depression during this time and I hate it more than anything.

I've been on valtrex, which somewhat worked on the severity of the outbreaks, but had them more often than without (I tracked them). I am paranoid that I might give this to my children so I constantly wash my hands and try to be soooo safe.

I have a wonderful boyfriend that doesn't have the disease, and who is supportive but I think I'm driving him away too, by being so paranoid. It's been 7 years and the outbreaks are not any better. I've tried the diet thing, medicines, low stress, I take multivitamins, eat right, dunno. I hate this disease and I'm afraid that I might give it to someone else, and wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

Side note I never have messed with him (my son's father) since that night. Since we've moved on, he has continued to not be careful and now has Hepatitis and HIV. So when I start to feel sorry for myself that I have this disease, I think about how lucky I was not to have ended up with the other diseases / deadly viruses he now has. I've been tested for everything and all is negative (thank the Lord).

He is in denial and continues to sleep with people spreading these viruses and he needs to be stopped. He lives in the Kansas City area and is from a small town in Kansas (it can happen to anyone)!!

After reading these stories it's nice to know that I'm not alone. I just wish there was more awareness of how easily these diseases can be spread. I don't sleep around and I trusted (to some extent) my son's father and look he could've given me Hepatitis and HIV as well!!!

BE CAREFUL PEOPLE!!! - Danielle

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