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Invincible
I want to thank you so much for starting
this site.
Every time I find something else that talks about herpes it makes me feel better
about having it.
I was 17 when i found out I had herpes. I wasn't an
angel when I was younger, and I had many partners at a young age. I used condoms
most of the time but like everyone else thought bad things couldn't happen to me
because I was invincible right? I was in a terrible relationship with an older
man who had 4 kids of his own. He was 35 and I was 17. I wasn't on birth control
and we stopped using condoms after about 3 months of having sex. I ended up
pregnant at 17. He didn't want anything to do with me or my child so I left him.
When I was about 5 months pregnant I met Mark. He
was caring and sweet. He was the same age I was and still in high school. He
talked of being the godfather to my son and the things he wanted to do for me
and my child. It seemed too good to be true. After a while we got closer and
started dating. He told me he was a virgin, we ended up sleeping together and
planning our lives with him as the father to my child. We were both so young...
A few weeks later we were having sex and I noticed
a sharp burning pain on the inside of my vaginal walls. It was excruciating. I
figured he was so big that we had torn something or rubbed the wrong way inside.
We thought nothing of it.
About a week later I was back to normal and at my
obgyn's office getting an exam. I mentioned a little pimple i had seen around my
vagina on the hairline. She said just to be safe she would do a blood test. Two
weeks went by until my next apt and my dr mentioned 'oh by the way your herpes
test came back positive' I'm freaking out by this time. She explained that it's
not really a big deal that it's not curable but that as long as I wasn't having
an outbreak at the time of delivery my child would be fine. She gave me a
prescription and sent me on my way.
I had no idea anything about this disease. I
couldn't bring myself to tell Mark. I was mad. I hadn't noticed anything until
we had sex. I thought he had lied to me about being a virgin. For a long time I
didn't know that I probably had it and just didn't have my first outbreak until
my hormones from pregnancy triggered the virus in my body.
When my son was born everything seemed fine and we
went along with the vaginal delivery. My ob was not on call so I got another dr.
neither me or my son were doing well during delivery and they put him in the
nursery to observe him. A few hours later while I was still recovering from my
epidural they said they needed to see me. I hadn't even held my child yet. I
though something was terribly wrong. They had observed him having 'seizures'
they explained to me and mark, who still didn't know, that my herpes could have
transmitted to my son.
Needless to say Mark kind of freaked out. It was a
very hard time for both of us. My son Isaiah was treated for neonatal herpes (he
turned out to be fine!) and mark and i had some serious things to work on.
He said that God obviously wanted us to be
together. This would ensure that we were the only people we were with for the
rest of our lives.
We broke up and were living in different states for
a whole six months. We both slept with other people. We used condoms but never
told. I feel horrible, luckily we didn't transmit the virus but our childishness
could have given someone else this disease.
We are still together, yesterday was our 4 yr
anniversary. We now have 2 healthy children with no signs of herpes or
complications from the disease.
After living with this for 4 years now I have
learned a lot from researching things on my own and different doctors. I wish
more doctors were informative about this disease, it would have helped me cope
with it a whole lot more.
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