Light at the end of the tunnel

My name is Jessica and I am probably one of the youngest on this site. I am at a youthful age of 18 and I am writing this during my first Outbreak. My life has been pretty rough but this past year the story of getting herpes is the worst. I have always been a pretty good kid but as I grew up and got older I acted like I was invisible. I wish I could turn back and make a few smarter decisions.

It all began when a friend of mine wanted to introduce to me to a guy. Me being a young girl, well I was happy to go. We met up and as soon as he came up I really fell for him. He liked me too so everything was great in my world. We ended up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. When that happened I quickly started to realize that he was bad news and my life was going down the drain. I started doing mild drugs and drinking along with my new boyfriend. He was always wasted so I figured I would join him since I was having no fun being sober.

As weeks went on things got worse and worse. He became violent with me and would abuse me at every chance we were alone. I was stupid and continued to stay with him and that's when he knew that I was vulnerable. Once he found this out is when he started to cheat. I acted like I was blind and didn't know the truth. I finally caught him in bed with another girl, he was wasted of course, and I finally broke up with him.

A week later while I was sitting at home I had contracted these horrible bumps. The pain was so excruciating that I cried myself to sleep. I had seen pictures so I knew exactly what it was. I just asked myself why it had to happen to me. I went to the doctor and had to tell my mom. She called me names, she also said I got it because I was dirty and that I probably got it from letting more than one guy have sex with me when I was drunk. It hurts me so much because she thinks that. I know the truth so I try not to let it get to me.

Nobody has ever been there for me in my life so I learn to just deal with things alone. I'm almost afraid I will be alone for the rest of my life. I guess I am still in that stage of being depressed and angry. I just pray for the day these painful bumps go away and hope the days they come back are short-lived. I am young after all and have a long life ahead of me. I believe there is light at the end of every tunnel and hopefully I will see it soon. - Jessica

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