Positive Is Powerful
Basically we all experience the same initial feelings
emotions when we first are diagnosed with herpes, so I am not going to repeat
all that in my story. I was first diagnosed about 5 years ago while I was
married, the reality of it didn't hit me till my divorce was final in September
of 2001. And again, as most of us have done, I turned to the internet to educate
myself. By way of the Lansing Social Group, (which was too far for me) I was
given the name of the lady who ran
Motor City Friends, our local social group. After exchanging a few emails,
she told me, "You need to go to the Help meeting." I was too scared to go alone,
so she agreed to go with me. I will be forever grateful to Denise for doing
that. Starting with that first Help meeting in May of 2002, my life turned
around and I found my "self" again.
I say I found my "self" again, because I had lost my "self" in my marriage. That
really has nothing to do with the herpes, but rather the person before this
marriage would never have been afraid to go to the Help meeting.
I began helping Denise with our social group Motor City Friends and in April
of this year she asked if I wanted to take over so she could take a break. I now
also facilitate Help meetings. I drive around with signs on my car that read
"Got Herpes HPV - You are not alone." our help number and email address. I have
told my boss (work for a manufacturer with 450 employees) and educated
I had an ad on *a herpes dating site, but found that by the time I eliminated the men under 40,
the ones who smoke, the ones under 5'10, I was left with about 3 in the entire
state of Michigan. And I don't want a long distance relationship. So, I posted
an ad on Match.com, in this ad I state I have herpes and give information about
it. I have had nothing but positive responses from people with and without.
There are so many people on Match.com
that have it and they do not know about *that
herpes dating site or any other herpes groups for the matter. (so of course I
tell them about it too). I receive messages from all over the world from
people admiring my honesty and courage.
There is so much more that I want to do for this cause, however my time is also
limited, working full time, raising my 14 year old nephew, running the social
group, answering emails from people who see herpes in my AOL profile, etc.
I obtain my strength and courage from every sad face that turns into a smile at
a Help meeting, or from anyone in the group who tells me that because of me they
were able to tell someone. That just makes me stronger.
I also must defend those who reject us. Just as many of us have the fear of
rejection, they have fears too. And no matter how matter of factly we might
explain this to them, that doesn't mean their fear goes away, just as I can talk
to someone about telling and that doesn't mean their fear will vanish. We must
always ask ourselves, "If I wouldn't have this, how would I have reacted if
someone told me?"
I even have fears, it's just not herpes!