Teen Herpes

Hi, my name is Katherine and I'm 18 years old. I found out that I had Herpes when I had just turned 17... During that time I was dating a guy named Mark that I met through a friend.

I had just gotten back from a wilderness program and was excited about starting over with a clean slate. I had a few problems with sneaking out, drinking, and what not so my parents felt obligated to send me away to help get my life on track. When I got back, I felt like a new person, very excited to get back in school and make good grades so that I could become what I always wanted to be - a psychologist.

I didn't plan on associating with any of the friends I had before, seeing as how they never were a positive influence in my life but, I just couldn't resist seeing my best friend, Tina. I met her at her boyfriend's friend's house (Mark's house) one night and immediately was attracted to Mark. We instantly clicked! I had never met a guy like him before. He told me that he didn't do drugs, didn't drink, and was going to college. All of these things were exactly what I needed in a boyfriend... I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world to have met such a great guy.

We started dating a week after our first meeting and about 2 weeks after that, we became intimate. I had only had sex 2 times before him so it was all pretty new to me. At that time, I was 16, almost 17 years old and he had just turned 20. It didn't take me long at all to fall head over heels in love with him... probably because I felt so privileged that an older guy was interested in me and I was pretty naive at that time. A couple of weeks after my 17th birthday, I knew for sure that I was "in love with this guy"... no doubt about it and that's about the time I started noticing that something was definitely wrong. We were at a party, and I started feeling sick... Mark was getting drunk (I later learned that he started drinking and smoking pot and that he never attended college, much less finished high school) so I went outside to make a phone call. I started getting sharp pains in my leg and in my "private region", not to mention a very high fever. I felt like I was going to pass out! So I went back inside and told Mark this... he wasn't ready to leave so I went back outside and was laying down on the porch waiting for him... I didn't want to move because my leg hurt so bad. Finally he came out screaming and we left.

The next day, I went to use the bathroom and started screaming, I was in SOOO much pain. Mark was at my house and he just told me to come lay down with him in the bed. He began trying to initiate sex with me but I told him no... somehow (my memory is kinda foggy around this time) we ended up having sex... I was crying because I was in so much pain and I kept telling him no, but he never stopped. It felt like I was being sliced with razors on the inside. The whole entire time he was having his way with me, I stayed completely still... I felt dirty, I felt degraded... and I just couldn't stop it, I didn't know how to stop him. After that, I could barely walk. It was the worst pain of my life. I decided that I definitely needed to go to the doctor so I made an appointment for the next day.

The doctor didn't have to take any tests... all he did was examine the lesions and flat out told me that I had Herpes.  I was in shock.  For some reason, I acted as if this news didn't affect me at all. Maybe because I knew all along. We had studied STD's in health class. After that, I called Mark and told him... he denied that he had any diseases. I didn't believe him but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt because, after all, he was "willing" to stay with me. He told me that I must have gotten it from someone else and that since he was probably already infected, there was no use in breaking up with me. This infuriated me... so I dumped him.

2 weeks later, we were back together... I was scared that no body would ever want me again. He continued to treat me like crap... cheated on me, abused me both mentally and physically and I stayed with him. I was stupid.  6 months later, I found several warts... went to the doctor's and found out that I had HPV... many strains of it to be exact. Quite a few low risk and quite a few high risk ones. I also had cervical dysplasia and had to undergo several biopsies and had my cervix frozen twice, not to mention my warts were burned off. I was devastated this time... It all sunk in. And yet, I stayed with Mark because I felt like a slut and that no one would ever want me. During that period in time, I began catching Mark with other girls... one in particular was an ex of his. I caught her at his house one morning.... and there just happened to be mascara on his pillow which I know was not mine. I also noticed that my pictures were hidden under his clothes in his dresser. I avoided him as much as I could but he would call me constantly and I soon gave in to him... until... I called his cell phone one night and his ex answered. She told me that Mark didn't want to talk to me anymore and I just exploded. All I could say was " You better watch out because he has herpes!" All she could say was " sweetheart, I've known him longer that you have so you're telling me something I already know... how do YOU know?" At that point I just blurted out "because he gave it to me!" and all became silent. She handed the phone to Mark and he told me to never call him again. This time I didn't. I was sick of him. I was so done with everything he put me through.

A few days later, his ex girlfriend called me and told me that he gave her herpes and HPV as well. We talked about it for about 2 hours. During that conversation, she told me that she wanted to be with him... I had absolutely no objection to that.  I didn't need a "little boy" like that in my life. I felt angry and depressed. I couldn't believe that he could have sex with 2 young, inexperienced girls and knowingly give them 2 STD's. Since the moment he told me not to call him anymore, I completely dropped him.  I didn't want to see him, hear from him, or think about him. I began getting focused in my school work, staying at home and researching on the internet about my diseases, and just finding comfort in my understanding, caring friends.

A few months after that, I met a wonderful guy named Bryce. We've been dating for a year now. I told him within the first week of dating him about my conditions and to my surprise, he didn't run away! That was what I was most afraid of. We didn't have sex for nearly 3 months and when we began getting intimate, we took all the necessary precautions, and he knows that there is still a chance he can get Herpes and HPV.

I should not have stayed in that relationship with Mark and I know that now.  I never believed anyone when they said that it's definitely possible to find someone that will accept you, diseases and all... until I met Bryce. And I'm so thankful for that. I don't think that these diseases have made me any less of a person, and I certainly voice my opinion when I hear some of my friends (that don't know about my condition) call girls with STD's sluts. Having an STD does not make ANYONE a slut... if anything, it makes you a strong person. You become more responsible and more aware of what's out there. To be able to overcome the stigma of having such a horrific disease (much less 2 of them!) takes a lot of strength and I'm proud of everyone that doesn't let these things run their lives.

And Now, I can honestly say, I'm proud of myself.

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