My H Story
Well I have to say that this is a very
eye opening experience for me as I was one of those women to think
that it could never happen to me however it did.
I had just come out of a mentally and
sometimes physically abusive relationship. I just wanted to be free
for a while so I left it a year before I started dating anyone.
However I met someone that I really like and we saw each other for a
while. One thing lead to another and we made love.
The first time we used a condom and after
that we didn't. We must have done it at least 5 times without using
a condom so I thought I was ok since we were in a relationship; however, I was totally wrong.
One day I had a burning sensation when I
went for a wee and because I'm very particular when it come to my
privates I took a mirror and had a look down there and right on the
perineum there were 2 blisters. I had no idea what it was because I
had never had anything but a yeast infection. I though it would go
away but it started to itch to the point where I would to have a
bath in the middle of the night.
So I decided to go to the hospital
where they diagnosed it as too much acid in the discharge and it
caused a burn but I knew that was a load of rubbish so I went back
that same day when the GUM clinic was open and it was there I was
told the news. All I could do was cry because I could not believe
that after the trauma I had been through in the past 6 and a half
years that the first person I would come in contact with would ruin
The first thing I did was question God.
He knew my pain and trials why would he let this happen to me,
Afterward I realized I did this to myself by not protecting myself
Its only been a month since I have this
and I have not told him. I have a funny feeling he knows he has
this but I cant bring myself to tell him. We are still in a
relationship. I guess the reason I cant tell him is because of fear
and no one ever being able to except me again. I fear having to tell
another man about this and to be honest I really do like this
I have met 2 people that I know that have
H and they seem to be fine however they don't have as many outbreaks so they just get on with it. They have no problems finding
relationships and are pretty confident. I can talk to them about it
and they give me comfort. Like last night the itch was a bit bad and
I called one of them crying but she understood me. I do hope I will
be able to get to that point where I'm a lot more confident about it
My OB's are annoying to say the least. I
have had 2 outbreaks since I found out in October. I have had nightmares
almost every night. I think about it all the time and now my self-esteem is under my feet. I really don't know if this will get any
better or any worse. We will have to see but I will try my best to
find ways to deal with this and find peace within myself.
The website has been a big help to me and
so have the stories and I thought I would share mine as a sister