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Sharing my crazy story
Hi there, my name is Lauren and I have
HSV. I know it sounds like an AA meeting intro, but it is not that big of a
deal i am discovering. I had stumbled across your site while surfing this
madness we call the internet. I was infected only about 2 months ago and I
found some things on this site that were helpful and aided me in finding
some piece of mind. I would like to share my story with others so that they
can find some too.
It was around the 20th of May when I thought I might be
coming down with a UTI. The usual, painful urination, that whole
thing. Most girls experience them a few times in life or more. More
annoying than anything, really. So I drank more water and some cranberry
juice, but it wasn't really helping. I was also noticing some outer itching
so i went to the doc. She screened me for a number of things, but not
Herpes, grrrr. I waited for a few days while the burning and itching
persisted, she said it was probably just bacterial infection. I got
the call back and all was fine. The next night I was taking a bath and
noticed something down there that freaked me out. I went to my sister and
cried and freaked out some more. I knew almost immediately (after getting
over the initial denial) what it probably was. There was some doubt in my
mind though, because what I was noticing on myself was not nearly as bad as
the pictures on the internet. The next morning my sister went with me back
to the clinic.
I was feeling pretty crappy, not to mention uncomfortable in
the clinic lobby, when it occurred to me that my birthday was in only a few
days... sucky timing. And I found out that the man I had been seeing was in
jail (good job). So everything was going just as I had not planned it. My
stomach dropped to my feet as I heard the nurse open the door and call my
name.
That gross feeling of nervousness and shame came over me as I
had to say out loud what I thought I might have, the reason I was there..
genital herpes. The doctor came in asked me the usual, I told her my
symptoms and up came the stirrups. She said those ugly words no one wants
to hear, "well that's what it appears to be". She prescribed me Acyclovir
and I was then told it would be a few days to get results back. And that is
when it seemed the world was coming down on me and for the next week I
experienced some crazy things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
The burning got worse. I distinctly remember that night. I
had tried to use the bathroom but nothing happened. Figured it was just the
urge that came along with whatever it was that I had. But the night went on
and I felt like I really had to go... but when I tried... nothing. It was 3
am when I couldn't take it anymore. I literally felt like I couldn't
wait to use the bathroom. Like after a long car ride when you drank a few
sodas and accidentally breezed by the rest area. I went to the ER with my
mom in unbearable pain.
I informed the nurses that I thought I might have herpes but
the final diagnosis had not come back yet. They rushed me to a room and I
waited for what seemed like a hundred years. The nurse had concluded that
the herpes virus had swelled up my urethra and made it impossible to
urinate. We did the catheter, the IV, not fun. I was sent home, still with
catheter and told to come back in two days. Crazy stuff huh. I was told
that what happened to me was rare and usually happened to men with enlarged
prostates... like that made me feel any less like a freak of nature.
I got that horrible thing taken out and was fine. I missed
my 21st birthday, which I will never get back again, but oh well. Symptoms
cleared up and then I finally got the dreaded results back. I knew the
results, it just hurt so bad to hear them from the other end, I am sure
everyone can agree with me on that one.
The guy I was seeing got out of jail shortly after and I told
him. It was so hard to do and I cried and blubbered to him and he was in
shock. I knew he didn't know much about this virus from the questions he
was asking me. I knew I got it from him, I just knew it. I liked him
enough to talk about it and try to move past the issue. Well he stopped
calling me and answering my calls and text messages. He knows the only way
to know for sure is to get tested, but i am still unsure if he has or not.
So this happening to me has made me feel like no one will ever want to stay
with me or want to put forth time to get to know me. But upon finding this
website, i have a new outlook. I want to thank you for that. You have
provided me with some much needed insight that i really needed. I had a
really odd outbreak so when you think yours is bad- remember mine!
I wanted to share my crazy story so that others who are newly diagnosed or
have an ongoing struggle can know they aren't alone. Because it is so
important, I think, to not feel alone, because you are not. It is so
important as you have stated to educate yourself about this and to not
stress and worry. It makes me look at my life and realize there are
worse things out there to be infected with and to see the glass half full as
often as I can. I want to get my story out there and hopefully get a
little closer to squashing that nasty stigma attached to the herpes virus.
Because I'm not alone and I am learning that the virus is more common than
people think. So thank you for the opportunity to share my case and
good luck in the quest for awareness.
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