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Wonderful Accepting People!
Hi
there..I haven't posted to
this group in ages,
but I used to read
the
stories of telling
prospective boyfriends/girlfriends...some went
well, some didn't. When I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago, I thought
no man would ever want me..I was "dirty". I would only date guys with
H..as I didn't think anyone would accept me.
Then I made a big mistake..thought I would get back together with my
husband, who I had been separated from for over a year. I guess I was
scared and lonely. Well the husband thing didn't go well..he wouldn't
even have sex with me..only a couple of times with a condom..and that
hurt. Turns out he didn't want to take the risk, because even though
he broke up with his girlfriend when we got back together, he was
back to seeing her, and had plans with her for January...oh yeah, and
he moved out again before Christmas..nice..the kids enjoyed that.
Fast forward to the summer, when I decided to start to date again.
Met a few guys, dated a bit, no one special. Then I met a guy from
an
online site. We emailed back and forth for a few
days, then were going to talk on the phone, when my mom got very
sick, and died within a week. He was supportive through email..and
said for me to take my time, we would meet when I was ready...etc. A
week later I called him, and we talked on the phone a few times
before deciding to meet. Long story short..it went well, and within a
month we were seeing each other pretty regularly, and I was falling
for him. We hadn't had sex..I told him I wasn't going to rush into
anything..and he said fine..if its six months..no problem, he would
wait.
Then one morning after I stayed over..and we slept in the same
bed together..I decided to tell him. We told each other a lot about
our previous marriages, our mistakes, and I told him about
the
herpes. He said he had heard about it (he's in the healthcare field)
and I told him I would give him the "westover heights" site so he
could read some accurate info. I told him the risks to him, that if
we were to have sex I would go back on my medication, and avoid sex
if I was feeling or having an outbreak. He didn't even blink during
all this, and told me that Nothing I could tell him would make him
feel any different for me. He did some research, and a week later we
had sex...without a condom but with me back on my medication. He was
so accepting of it, and the sex was and continues to be absolutely
the best I have ever had!!!
I was so scared to tell him, I was agonizing over it for weeks..how I
would say it, what he would say..so I finally just did it..and it was
a huge weight off my shoulders. I was so happy he took it well..and I
certainly would have been upset if he rejected me..but I think the
timing for me was right. He got to know me, was falling for me..and I
told him before we started anything really heavy.
He's met a couple of my closest friends, will meet my birth mom and
her husband the Sept long weekend when we go up for a
weekend to stay with them, and I will be meeting some of his friends
and family soon.
Sorry for the long post...lol..but I just wanted to let people know
that there are wonderful, accepting men/women out there. I know I am
lucky to have found him..and look forward to our future together. - Linda
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