I love me and you should love you!

I received the gift of Herpes in December of 1998 when I was 21 years old..  At that time I was just beginning to find myself and had just started what I called my phase of ‘dating around’.  I had kind of a guideline in my life that I was following.  I had only been with two guys when I met the man that would change my life.  Boy was he was a charmer!  I followed all ‘The Rules’ to a T on this guy.  I made him wait forever to sleep with me.  Finally the time came and I wasn’t prepared, but there was a snow storm that night and I was stuck staying over.  It wasn’t even something I really even wanted, it was more something I thought I should be doing at my age.  I asked him to wear a condom.  He said he didn’t have any.  I asked him to ‘be careful’ because the only thing that crossed my mind at that time was pregnancy.  I had no idea what was out there.

Two weeks later when I found out I couldn’t deal.  I never told him, I simply stopped talking to him.  I spent a year of my life in denial.  I did sleep with people but was careful to always use a condom, I thought that was enough.  Finally the time came when I’d been with a guy for six months and he asked me to go on the Pill.  I broke down crying and told him the truth.  He said it was okay, that he loved me…etc..  That was the last time I ever heard from him.

After that I knew I had to do something.  I was mad that this happened to me.  I was mad that I hadn’t been told that these things could happen to me.  I was mad that I was supposed to feel dirty for having sex, something everyone does.  Mostly, I was determined to do something about it.

February 23, 2000 I got on the internet and started H Friends In Indy, a yahoo group for people in Indiana with Herpes.  I met Gayla, Kevin and Craig for lunch one day to start plans for the first Indy Gathering.  Beautiful friendships, an amazing gathering and the explosion of Indy Friends began that day.  It changed my life.  I found a way to take something negative in my life and make it positive.  My entire self image changed for the better and I never looked back.  There is nothing in my life I am more proud of then this.  When I say I received a gift in Herpes I mean exactly that.  God gave me the gift of purpose.  I am stronger, wiser, more confident and most of all, I expect more from the people around me.  I love me and you should love you.  That is all you need to grow in this world….self confidence strong enough that nothing, not even this, can knock it down.  Do whatever you have to do to get there because I know you can. - Marie in Indy

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