Risk and Reward
I'd like to share something here. When I met my husband he was very open and upfront about his herpes. Not on our first date, but definitely in time for me to make a decision without strings attached. We talked for many hours the night he told me.
He explained the risks, how often he had outbreaks, etc. I took it all in and asked for some time to think it over and do my own reading and research. I spent the next day hovering over books in our neighborhood library. I wasn't ashamed to ask the librarian for every book they had on herpes, and in the end, she became very helpful.
She talked to me about some services our community center had on
stds and such. She even gave me a hotline number to call. I went home that night and before I could look into the hotline or any group meetings,
my phone rang. It was my "boyfriend", just calling to say hi and ask me if I wanted to go out to dinner with him the following night.
I agreed and before I could hang up the phone, I knew he was worth it. He was worth possible contracting herpes for. He was a kind, sensitive, caring man who thought the world of me. The respect he gave me, I wanted to return in any way I could. I decided that night
that I wasn't going to let herpes come between me being with this person. We were no where near marriage at this point, but I couldn't see myself walking away from this wonderful human being because of something as minimal as
We dated for about a year and then decided to get married. Once the date was set, the condoms were out the window for us. The day we returned home from our honeymoon, I had my first herpes outbreak. It was a relief, honestly. There would never have to be any worrying that I may get it, I had it, and that was it. Looking back on all this now, I wouldn't change a thing.
My advice to anyone that has reservations about dating someone with herpes is that by having those reservations, you may be missing out on the love of your life. And why loose a life-time life because of something as trivial as a skin virus. Love should be defined by who we are on the inside and not what we have on our outside.